Saving Christmas, literally

thriftylass

Hello,

I have been a Forumite for over a decade to varying success but especially over lockdown etc things got out of hand again, husband got hit with a massive tax bill (which I still don't quite understand, but I think he hadn't been saving for tax from the earnings the year before covid and then obviously didn't have any earnings etc etc -  we need to work on our couple finance transparency), I kept lending him money and excessive drinking to cope on both sides hasn't helped. 

With Christmas coming up and the kids writing their lists I got a bit of a wake up call. At least the kids don't believe anymore ( they're 11 and 8) and asked for a budget, bless.

As it is the same with everybody just now, things got tight this year with all the price rises. We now also finally decided not to move any time soon (as that's impossible when needing an addition bedroom in a decent area of this town), or extend but make do. But we'd like to/need to spend a little bit of money on doing things like splitting the tiny kids room in two (DIY option).

 A lot of time and money saving measures like batch cooking, meal planning etc have slipped too, but I started picking up shrapnel again,10p up  . So, here we go again, on a mission to save Christmas...and the beyond

In the following days, I will post a little plan and a list of things I need to start implementing again. Things I used to do that were good for wallet and mind. Firstly, I'll pop off and read some Forum posts for further inspiration and motivation.

Thanks for reading
TL x

joedenise

Sounds like you need to set yourself a budget for all the necessary spends and then decide what you can afford to spend for Christmas.  Perhaps join the Grocery Challenge on the Old Style Board to help you stick to budget.  I find it really helpful.

Good luck.

thriftylass

Yes, that's what I need to start doing again. I used to use the cash envelope system, count/plan NSDs, meal plan etc etc. There is enough money to do it all I just need to grow a spine again, say no to DH, say No to frivolous spending and stick to it. 

I'm working on a SOA and thought if I post that here I can't secretely hide away from it and ignore it. And then sneak back to shuffle the numbers, lol. Here's to NOvember.

joedenise

Good for you.  If you need to shuffle numbers from time to time so be it - as long as it all adds up and you stick to your available money and don't end up using CCs to find overspending.

I often move money around within my "pots" if it's necessary but not just "because I can"!

thriftylass

As I was working through my SOA, I noticed two things: 1 I need to start the cash envelop system again and stick with it and 2 a spending diary for every penny as the last few months there has been money frittered away on especially snack food, treat food and booze etc.

Also, I started reading a few books again, the sort of positive thinking self-help version. And many start by saying you can't change anybody else but yourself. I need to take that seriously again and just accept that I can't change DH, or make him do sth he doesn't want etc. All I can control is me, and rather than blame him for this, that and the other, I need to take responsibility for my affairs.

Hence, this SOA is just for me and the kids atm as we have split finances and while he pays the mortgage, insurance, internet, I pay groceries, childcare, leccy and so on. 

I made a few notes of things that need sorting. Where there is missing payments, we either don't have them or they are DH's domain.

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Household Information

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... I just pay some fuel occasionally

Monthly Income Details

Monthly income after tax................ 1946

Partners monthly income after tax....... N/A for this

Benefits................................ 143

Other income............................ 0

Total monthly income.................... 2089

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ DH

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. DH (pays the car, I paid the deposit)

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. DH

Electricity............................. 50

Gas..................................... 50

Oil..................................... N/A

Water rates............................. N/A

Telephone (land line)................... DH

Mobile phone............................ 24

TV Licence.............................. DH

Satellite/Cable TV...................... DH

Internet Services....................... DH

Groceries etc. ......................... 400 (this is wishful thinking based on previous good months and/or the target budget!, is probably more like 6-700 just now without planning etc)

Clothing................................ 0 (will need to determine a number here)

Petrol/diesel........................... 100

Road tax................................ DH

Car Insurance........................... DH

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0 (will add sth here as DH never saves for it)

Car parking............................. N/A

Other travel............................ 0 (will need to add occasional bus journey)

Childcare/nursery....................... 200

Other child related expenses............ 0 (will need to add school uniform here)

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 (will need to add sth here)

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0 (Don't have any just now, but will need to reinstate or start saving)

Buildings insurance..................... DH

Contents insurance...................... DH

Life assurance ......................... DH

Other insurance......................... N/A

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 100

Haircuts................................ 0 (Doing DIY anyway)

Entertainment........................... 50

Holiday................................. 50 (might up that)

Emergency fund.......................... 100

Total monthly expenses.................. 1124

Assets

Cash.................................... 58

House value (Gross)..................... 0

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 0

Other assets............................ 0

Total Assets............................ 58

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

CC.............................2947......67.71.....19.9 (will want to pay more here)

Family.........................3617......0.........0 (will start a plan)

Total unsecured debts..........6564......67.71.....-  

Monthly Budget Summary

Total monthly income.................... 2,089

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,124

Available for debt repayments........... 965

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 67.71

Amount left after debt repayments....... 897.29 (so this usually got split between savings, debt and frittering, will need to assign this properly)

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary

Total assets (things you own)........... 58

Total HP & Secured debt................. -0

Total Unsecured debt.................... -6,564

Net Assets.............................. -6,506

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

thriftylass

joedenise said:

Good for you.  If you need to shuffle numbers from time to time so be it - as long as it all adds up and you stick to your available money and don't end up using CCs to find overspending.

I often move money around within my "pots" if it's necessary but not just "because I can"!

Totally agree, I need to get out of the cycle of abusing my ability to shuffle money  but learn to use it right again. I remember this forum being a great help and motivator. 

Brie

Good for you to start looking at this with enough time to deal with some of the Christmas spending.  It's good to know that the kids are on board - maybe you could start with something easy like saying you don't want anything for Christmas unless it's something they have made themselves?  Even vouchers for washing up or cutting the grass or similar that you could claim when you find you need help and a bit of a break.

What I don't understand (& I know we are all different) is why you are doing this on behalf of yourself and the kids but are not including the DH.  It's very difficult for others to understand the financial dynamic when it's simply a case of "not my job" with some bills.  There may be a way around this - putting an DH on those bills perhaps?  Otherwise it may be better to include DH's money and bills for clarity.  Obviously some of this is difficult if DH is self employed and things fluctuate a lot.  And maybe put n/a on the not applicable bits?

Lastly - if you are trying to clear debt then I would say that should be your focus.  Don't worry about saving money in emergency funds or for future renovations.  Those things can be dealt with once the debt is out of the way.  

And an even more lastly - good luck with the cutting down on drinking.  This can be a real struggle for a lot of us - myself included.  Always having water to hand has been helpful to me - it's a simple thing but lets me sip on things.  Annoys my DH immensely (small side bonus!!) when he wants a nice cuppa tea and I'm having just water as if I'm being extra "holier than thou" but frankly I don't like pop/soda and can't drink much juice so water is a good option, also fills me up so potentially I don't eat as much (she said hopefully!!)

thriftylass

Hi Brie, yes, my husband is self employed and thus is just a first draft of my SOA. I will update numbers and add a "DH" to some categories. DH was never great with money, whereas I was until I let it slip drastically recently. That's why we split bills etc a certain way for years now. Long story but it works for us best still. I'm not including DH atm or trying to get him on board as that failed many times and just caused me stress and I returned to bad spending myself, blamed him etc etc. Now I accepted I can't make him change but lead by example iykwim. Difficult to explain fully but I thought about it thoroughly.

My main focus will be debt payments especially the CC. But since my family lives abroad I need to save for trips there as they are elderly.  The only renovation planned and currently done cheaply is the kids bedroom as they are sharing a tiny room and are not if the same gender, to finally give them some privacy as they are of that age. To clarify it's only another £200-300 and it's done. 

My husband and I won't have Christmas presents this year. And the kids usually make STH for the grandparents. I will also make more homemade gifts for others again.

Hopefully once I post the right numbers it will be clearer.

Thank you 

thriftylass

Also this is just my debt, he still has ODs and CCs and owes me money but under the current circumstances I can't focus on that too. 

thriftylass

Oh the saving for emergency funds I thought would be useful in case the washing machine breaks so I don't have to use the CC again. Not a good idea?

thriftylass

I updated the SOA a bit to reflect my plan and the categories that are N/A or DH.

I will have forgotten something but that will become obvious once I went through my last few months spending etc. It's actually ridiculous how easy it would be to pay of that months based in these numbers. Just shocked how much money I must've frittered a way a month or overspend unplanned. I don't think it was all frivolous, but going through my bank statements will tell me which categories I clearly under-budget.

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... [b] (we own one but DH pays for that mostly)

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 1946

Partners monthly income after tax....... N/A for this challenge

Benefits................................ 143

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2089[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ DH

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. DH pays for car as I paid deposit

Rent.................................... N/A

Management charge (leasehold property).. N/A

Council tax............................. DH

Electricity............................. 50

Gas..................................... 50

Oil..................................... N/A

Water rates............................. N/A

Telephone (land line)................... DH

Mobile phone............................ 24

TV Licence.............................. DH

Satellite/Cable TV...................... DH (but I think we only have basic BT Freeview now plus Netflix)

Internet Services....................... DH

Groceries etc. ......................... 400 (achievable with careful planning as I have managed before)

Clothing................................ 0 (i didn't put anything there as we all have enough for a while and all seasons, and I'm good at mending)

Petrol/diesel........................... 100

Road tax................................ DH

Car Insurance........................... DH

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... DH

Car parking............................. N/A

Other travel............................ 20

Childcare/nursery....................... 200

Other child related expenses............ 20

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 10

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 20 (will either start saving or take insurance out again)

Buildings insurance..................... DH

Contents insurance...................... DH

Life assurance ......................... DH

Other insurance......................... N/A

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 150

Haircuts................................ 0 (do DIY)

Entertainment........................... 50

Holiday................................. 200 (trips abroad to family needed occasionally as they are elderly)

Emergency fund.......................... 100[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1394[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 0

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 0

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 0[/b]

[b]

No Secured nor Hire Purchase Debts[/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

CC.............................2987......300.......19.9 (or should I put it all here and then focus on the free family debt?)

Family.........................3617......200.......0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........6604......500.......-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 2,089

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,394

Available for debt repayments........... 695

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 500[b]

Amount left after debt repayments....... 195[/b] (so I still have some wiggle room to cover Christmas - budget planning under way - or to finish the kids room?, Next year this will go to the debt as well)

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 0

Total HP & Secured debt................. -0

Total Unsecured debt.................... -6,604[b]

Net Assets.............................. -6,604[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]