School birthday parties - what's the 101? 12 October 2022 at 6:20PM in Marriage, relationships & families 35 replies 6.6K views

ChilliBob

Hey everyone, our son has just started reception and as we sort of expected has had some party invites... Already sbout 5 in the short space of time he's been there!

I believe it's school policy that the hosts have to invite everyone in reception.

So, thus far as nor our son or I knew any of the children who's party it was we simply ignored the invites...

I've now been added, with the whole class to some what's app group, and it seems the invites are coming on there thick and fast now too!

I'm 40 so it's been a while since I had parties!.. I think it was just send the slip in saying you could go, rock up with a card with a fiver in it, rinse and repeat..

What's the expectation/done thing/101 these days?

For example...
* Do we only reply if we're going go come? Or, like a wedding, do you reply even to decline? (seems odd in this case!)
* Should you try to go to most parties, or, only the ones your child says he's mates with (I'm sure if you asked the children would go to every party regardless!)
* Presents - I assume its cash these days as nobody knows what people have!

Seems a bit of a minefield! We're not the sort of family that always has other children round and does loads of play dates etc, we tend to spend most time with family or wider family so to speak. 

Comments mosh welcome, if redirection to a similar thread, oh, and sorry if its a bit Mumsnet lol 

annabanana82

I can't imagine any school has a policy to invite the whole class?

You should reply to the invites either way, ignoring them is quite rude and likely to result in your child getting fewer or no invites.

I'd personally try to attend as many as you can, it's a good opportunity to get to know the children and parents as parents are often expected to stay. Socialising is good for you and the children, children are also fickle and friendships can change frequently. 

I have teenagers and going rate is £10, or cider (age dependent). I'm aware of some parents that club together and get a more expensive present as a class.

ChilliBob

I think when it's invites in the school book bag coming hom then yeah they do say that aparantly! I think it may only be a reception thing.

So this current one has gone to both classes so about 60 children! So far I'd say there had been sbout 10 responses, a couple of which were declines.

I'll be sure to decline or accept in future then, I wasn't too sure the way when it was blanket - quite different to an invite with your child's name on it etc.

Cider as a present, love it! I still get excited go get beer as a present lol.

Three years of nursery and this didn't crop up for some reason! 

sheramber

What sort of premises would they need for a party for 60 children?

Grumpy_chap

annabanana82 said:

I can't imagine any school has a policy to invite the whole class?

I understand that is quite common.  Very inclusive.
Just like sportsday with no losers

otb666

When mine were that age we had the whole class come around our house and my brother dressed as a clown for entertainment. Just make up a pass the parcel game and hire a bouncy castle  Did not cost that much if you make the jellies etc. Motherland has an excellent episode on it. A lot of parents will stay and have a nosey round to. Beware of different food allegies One parent left me an injection pen type thing in case it was needed. . With the presents you will find that the same items does the rounds as they are all re gifted continually.  

pinkshoes

ARGH. I hate parents who do not reply. Even worse when their kid then turns up and they didn't reply!

ALWAYS reply. Even if you can't go. It's very helpful for parent organising it.

Parties are expensive, so no need to invite the entire class. As long as you're not just excluding a couple of people. 

A gift of £5 to £10 is fine for a gift. I tend to spend more if it is a small party. I've never given cash. When I did one for my twins, they had so many toys already I asked for a donation to the local children's charity.

ChilliBob

sheramber said:

What sort of premises would they need for a party for 60 children?

Soft play #shudder! 

ChilliBob

pinkshoes said:

ARGH. I hate parents who do not reply. Even worse when their kid then turns up and they didn't reply!

ALWAYS reply. Even if you can't go. It's very helpful for parent organising it.

Parties are expensive, so no need to invite the entire class. As long as you're not just excluding a couple of people. 

A gift of £5 to £10 is fine for a gift. I tend to spend more if it is a small party. I've never given cash. When I did one for my twins, they had so many toys already I asked for a donation to the local children's charity.

Noted, I shall indeed reply. 

Interesting, when I was young it was always cash (perhaps I'm thinking more when I was say 8 not 5!).

theoretica

ChilliBob said:

pinkshoes said:

ARGH. I hate parents who do not reply. Even worse when their kid then turns up and they didn't reply!

ALWAYS reply. Even if you can't go. It's very helpful for parent organising it.

Parties are expensive, so no need to invite the entire class. As long as you're not just excluding a couple of people. 

A gift of £5 to £10 is fine for a gift. I tend to spend more if it is a small party. I've never given cash. When I did one for my twins, they had so many toys already I asked for a donation to the local children's charity.

Noted, I shall indeed reply. 

Interesting, when I was young it was always cash (perhaps I'm thinking more when I was say 8 not 5!).

Cash from adults, sometimes, but not in my memory for presents 'from' kids.

jackieblack

Schools cannot dictate who you invite to your child’s birthday party, however they may have a rule, if you are expecting them to distribute invitations for you, to only do it if every child is invited as it can cause all sorts of arguments and upset (and schools are not there to organise your child’s out-of-school social arrangements or referee the arguments they cause)

If your contact details have been made available to other parents without your agreement, that is a data protection breach… if you object, complain to the Headteacher