Best plan moving forward with soa

enthusiasticsaver

If you do not have an income then I do not see how you can do anything other than pay tokens or default completely and wait for them to be sold on and then come to an arrangement. If you have been paying tokens for 3 years have any of the debts been sold on yet?  

Emz92xxx

2 have been sold on all of them
except the loan as all defaulted x

kimwp

Emz92xxx said:

Hiya, i want to start  paying them instead of £1monthly.
The problem is my partner as zero debts and refuses pay is wages on to debts wheni can just pay  a £1 month.
Agree we could try to come up with plan to bring food cost down, but ano he wont stop is supplements and his luxurys.
Most of the debt was because of my stupidity which a feel ashamed and it really gets me down when im deep in thought.

Really do feel a bit lost with it all.

I think this comes down to what partnership do you have and how do you arrange your finances as a pair. Are they his wages or the wages of the family? Does he realise how much this is weighing on you? How much of your wages gets contributed towards family expenses?

 If you have to shoulder this debt burden yourself, then what is your objection to going bankrupt?

Emz92xxx

We want to move next year  and guessing wil it more difficult with checks.
Basically he Transfers money for all
bills and food for month and if want anything a just ask him and he gives me money x

kimwp

Perhaps you could go bankrupt after your move?

The only other way I see you being able to pay these (short of you increasing your income) is an arrangement where you divide the family income after paying food and bills (and savings) and then that income is yours to do what you like with - him for expensive urine, you to pay off your debts for example.

NB, If he genuinely gives you money for whatever you want* and you stay together then your current arrangement is ok. But if you are not married and you split up then you are in a really precarious situation - you will have no money at all. Your current arrangement waves a few red flags.

*And actually he isn't, because he's letting you be stressed about your debt rather than helping resolve it.

Emz92xxx

Yep its a tricky situation, With the debts i havent done anything  he sorted it all for me, told me just pay £1 theres nothing they can do. Ill
try and have a talk with him later but ano what he will say x

kimwp

I don't envy you. If you have agreed that you won't earn an income because you are looking after the family (or for whatever agreed reason), he really needs to stop seeing the wages as his wages and start seeing them as the family wages. And your debts as family debts. But it can be hard to let go of what we think of as mine and make it ours.