Becoming debt-free and going back to 'normal' - did you?

Coffeekup

When I became debt free after a long 7 year slog, as others do you save and tend to save hard. Input all my savings in to once account and used to wince, mumble yo myself or get angry if I dipped into it to the point it frustrated me so much I'd get angry.

As others have said I learned or maybe got the idea from here to put money into different saving pots. One for holidays, one for breakdown's, one for treats through out the month and a savings account I'd never ideally touch unless hard times hit.
Each account would get allocated different amounts of money each month, for example breakdown's savings would pay for a new TV, DVD, FF, washing machine or a PC, so for a new £500 I pad every 3 year's I'd need to save a minimum of £14 a month for this to happen. 

Doing the above wouldn't upset me when I had to pay for something like a new Kitchen appliance, or a holiday as those savings accounts are allowed to fluctuate, it's the savings account I dont touch that gets me upset if I have to touch it (which has happened twice in a few years), but I'm disciplined enough to keep making payments to it. 

At the end of the day savings are for a rainy day or when things go wrong or to enjoy on things you like if u u need them, the good thing is your not paying interest on it anymore like you would if it was a loan or a CC.

CreditCardJunkie

I honestly think personally I've become even more frugal 🙈 even when clearing debt I'd still have treated myself to a coffee on the go or lunch out but over the last lot of months I really begrudge it. I think the increase in the cost of living has really drove it for me. I will do without certain things if I don't think the price is worth it anymore. I've also recently been buying clothes of vinted instead of buying new because I just don't see the value anymore.

chubsta

Thanks again for all the replies, some very good advice!

It is a new month and we have just had payday and once again I whacked a great big figure into savings, although I have, as suggested, left myself a couple of hundred more available for the month. Unfortunately I am now sitting here thinking that I probably won't have many outgoings this month so hopefully I will have a couple of hundred left at the end of the month to save! Its going to be a long journey...

Just to cover a few points raised by yourselves - I used to go to loads of concerts when younger but am old and can't stand for as long these days but went to one the other day at a seated venue and absolutely loved it so it has really revitalised my interest in going to more, shame tickets aren't ten quid like they used to be though! But it was nice not worrying about my spending on the night and I am now planning some more.
I have been with my other half for over 16 years but aside from monthly bills we are totally financially separate - it is down to her that I am financially stable as she is a great influence. What is weird though is that whilst I would baulk at spending a tenner on myself, if we both needed a new iPad for instance, I wouldn't think twice and would just get one for her as I earn more and would sit there using my old one... I pay all the bills for our dogs on the basis she picks all the poo up - quite a pricey deal but worth every penny!

I think one of the main problems in my head is that I have replaced debt with 'retirement' - I plan to retire early in a couple of years and have been going through the financials in the tiniest detail over the last couple - I have been doing the same job for nearly 40 years and although still fit and well am just fed up with it. Every month that I am able to save what I was paying towards my mortgage etc will give me 'X' amount to take out of those savings to top up my pension between my retirement date and when I get the state pension at 67. But to complicate things the amounts I am looking at includes not only a 'contingency fund' each month, but also an element of savings - so I am saving so that I can save in the future.

The more I look at it the more it seems that there are many parallels between actually being in debt and finally clearing it in terms of the attitude to money - I have gone from monitoring my budgets due to a fear of not being able to pay bills (although I was never actually anywhere near being in that position as it would have taken something catastrophic happening for me to end up like that) to becoming almost obsessed with my spending because I have to still save every last bit I can each month not to pay off debt, but to supposedly make sure I never get any debt in the future, which realistically would never happen as I have a pension due to come in when I retire that would leave me comfortable. I have spreadsheets running ahead six months that detail all expected bills/saving etc so I can pretty much tell you exactly what my financial position will be in March next year - a wonderful thing to have but at the same time a worrying example of how 'normal' this is becoming to me.

MovingForwards

We are quite similar in a way, I'll happily spend money on my OH and it's my way of thanking him for everything he does.

He treated us to a cinema trip, I got us a meal beforehand and we had a great time. I thought maybe we'll go to the cinema monthly, then looked at the ticket prices; we have a large TV at home and it's not as if we see new releases when we do go out so I canned that idea!

I've been running annual spreadsheets for nearly 6 years. They helped clear my debt, save a mortgage deposit and now help with saving, plus I'm looking at early retirement and they help with that too.

To break the mentality start small, go for a coffee or something. I'd even say take cash out the bank just for fun spends as it's earmarked specifically for that. Whatever you do, or don't do, this month, try again next month and the one after. 

sammyjammy

I totally get this, I am not mortgage free but its on a  good low rate and is under £40k so am happy to let it run its course for now.  When I was in debt I would just go shopping and come home with so much stuff!  Sometimes things didn't fit or I didn't like it as much as I thought I did but i would keep it all.  I think I spent money to make myself better which obviously doesn't work, in fact it made me feel worse about myself when the credit card statement came in.

I'm in Sheffield and nipped to Ikea for some fabric, being at a loose end I thought I would have a wander around Meadowhall (hateful place!)  I wandered around for ages, picking things up and putting them down again telling myself i didn't need them or i had such and such at home, ended up spending £10 in Wilko  whilst refusing to spend over £3 on a coffee when I could make one for "free" when i got home.

madaboutspots

For me, one of the things that I ca’t shake (and would never want to!) is that there is SO MUCH pointless crap out there that others want you to buy!

It’s both liberating and vomit inducing to see the amount of absolute landfill that is made just to entertain us for a nano second whilst making someone else rich.

Spending me joined in - doh! Hanging my head in shame. 

Sensible me just looks at it and wonders how these companies get away with it. Why do people fall for it so easily! I shout at them (silently in my head) - can’t you see that’s just crap - are you even thinking before you buy! Goodness if I get dementia or something will I end up just shouting at people? I’d get beaten up in no time!

My point is that once you’re beautifully liberated from other unscrupulous people trying to lure you with shiny landfill it seems unfathomable as to how so many get sucked in constantly. That then makes me angry - for them … and I guess at them for not seeing what’s glaringly obvious.

Conversely when I really consider a purchase I do loads of research, think (for many months normally - the bigger the price the longer the think), work out if I can manage without,  environmentally moral issues are a good one and I try to buy ethically for everything - the questions and categories go on and on.

When I make a decision (after many many weeks of yes then no then yes) - I mean genuinely go ahead and make the purchase - it’s (mostly) guilt free and a pleasure. Still a little gremlin in my head doing a sharp intake of breath and shaking it’s head whilst frowning. But I enjoy my purchase for what it is. I look after it so it lasts the longest possible time. 

I also think that when this happens (and the bigger the purchase the longer the impact) I feel not only happy with my purchase and I guess satiated, but entirely disinterested in buying anything else.

What fascinates me particularly is that all that pleasure our brains are seeking when we’re spending on loads of crap without thinking (and therefore never achieving the pleasure we seek) is actually getting met by a completely different approach to purchasing. It feels refreshing to see adverts and stuff for what they are. Surely they’re essentially people pretending to be homeless and begging with a scruffy empty cup - and then getting in their shiny flash car and driving home to their big ostentatious house with theirs days’ takings? My hard earned money! In exchange for rubbish.

So I am resistant to their sneaky ways but be on your guard as they adapt constantly. 

So what’s really happened I guess, is that I realised I didn’t need most of the stuff. I now have a protective filter in place. I have a conscience.

It takes some adjusting but enjoy it - it’s your filter to protect you from all the crap and sneaky beggars. Don’t worry about it so much. You’re just confused because it’s a new approach. What are the alternatives? Go back to where you were? Nah - be a careful thoughtful spender. Put your money in savings and enjoy that you have them, appreciate that safety net. Stop trying to beat yourself up for protecting yourself from the rogue beggars out there. You don’t have to spend what you have. 

chubsta

Our current thinking is that everything we buy has to offer 'value for money' - much more difficult very recently as everything has gone up so quickly and our mindset is is still on how much cheaper everything used to be, but we still think along the lines of 'do we really need it, and is it worth what is being asked'?

When younger I was sucked into all the fashion thing and would spend a fortune on clothes from top designers - I had the money so so what. Back in the 90s I had D&G pyjamas which cost hundreds - I cannot imagine now what was going on in my head! I am not scruffy but I don't buy clothes from one year to the next as my current stuff will last and look fine, after all I am far too old for fashion!

Looking at everyone who wants my money as 'beggars' is an interesting view - you know most of them don't deserve your money but of course there are worthy causes and it should be ok to pay out in those cases.

peteuk

Do you need it? Can you afford it?

I suspect the answer is yes and yes.  Your doing the right thing, not taking out a contract, paying through the nose for the up to date (or until then next version)  So why can’t you buy it?

I also understand that the frame of mind is difficult to break.  Ideally you need a balance, which it seems your not far from. Saving the money you used to pay off your debts makes sense, you’ve not had it for X years.  But having a pot and not using it for things you need doesn’t make sense.  

You approach to the iPad is sensible, can I afford a new one (off the Apple shelf) yes but do I need a new or newer on…