Child Maintenance - Household Bills?

robertoefc

Hi
My (female) partner and I split up in August 2021. We have a now 3 year old son, and when we split up we were living in a house owned jointly by myself and her brother. When we split up, I moved out of the house and back in with my parents, so she and our son could stay in the house. Prior to splitting up we had an arrangement whereby she paid the mortgage (by sending the money to me) and I paid all of the utility/household bills. This came to more or less the same amount - £650pm.

After we split up the arrangement continued, however earlier this year she insisted that I should have been paying her child maintenance of around £260 on top of the bills I was continuing to cover.  This came as something of a surprise to me as I had not only been continuing to pay the £650pm but also sending additional money here and there for new clothes for the baby etc. etc.

I spoke to a family law solicitor who advised me that all I was actually obliged to pay was my half of the mortgage, and that as I was not living in the house I was not obliged to pay the bills.

I did not tell my ex partner this at the time as I was focused on maintaining cordial relations. However, we have now sold the house and she has moved back in to her parents home. In the course of selling the house, I paid out around £1600 in various fees and told her not to worry about them, that we would sort everything out once we had moved.

Since the move, I have sent her 2 x monthly child maintenance payments, for slightly more than what was suggested by the calculator on the gov.uk website. I am extremely anxious about approaching her about the money she owes me, as I anticipate she will insist I owed her child maintenance money for the 10 months she was living alone in our house.  So before I do broach the subject, I want to be certain that the advice I've had previously - essentially that at most I should have paid half the mortgage and child maintenance on top (which would have come to slightly less than what I was paying in covering the bills) - is correct.

Can anybody help!?

Thanks

tacpot12

Whether or not the legal advice you have had is correct (but I'm sure it is), if your ex is not happy, forcing her to pay you back for the fees you have paid out is not going to make her pay. Are you certain that she even liable to pay any of these fees? If the fees relate to the sale of the house, then only you and her brother should be paying these fees.

If the fee was for something that she neeed e.g. a Removals Service to move her stuff and your son's stuff to her parents, a fair split of the cost would be that you pay 25% of the bill for this (being half the cost of moving your son's stuff). 

I would ask her for this money, but start by explaining how much you paid out and how you have arrived at what you think is a fair share for her to pay. Let her negotiate on the amounts if she wants to. Ultimately, if she gives you anything, you are doing well. 

I would say that your obligations while she was living in your house were to pay half the mortgage and the Child Maintenance amount determined by the CMS calculator. Work out what this amount is, and check whether the £690 pcm covered this much, if not, you might offer to offset the difference against what she owes you.

To be completely fair to her, you might also agree to pay some of the council tax for the 10 months. Although she will have received a 25% discount as a single occupant, it's not really fair that she has to pay 75% of the council tax; 50% would be fairer, so I would also calculate how much 25% of the council tax is and 'pay' her this by deducting it off what she owes you. Ultimately you may find that if you are being generous, she doesn't actually owe you anything, and you can both move on.    

 

  

robertoefc

Thanks for the reply!

For clarity - we agreed to split the cost of all house move fees and costs 50/50. We did all the removals ourselves, however I paid for the van hire, storage and all other associated solicitors/land registry costs that were not deducted from the final sale.

Also - I paid the council tax too, that was included within the household bills that I paid each month. We forgot to get the single occpuancy discount on it, mind.

Just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being unreasonable in disagreeing with her belief that I should have been paying child maintenance on top of the Sky, gas, electricity, water, council tax, TV licence, couch, and shopping that I paid for after I moved out.

Many thanks, much appreciated.

Twixty3

£650 seems a heck of a lot for household bills.  Was her council tax part of this £650?  Edit: I see your answer above. 

You did not have to pay the household bills once you left, you could have cancelled the utility bills in your name.  So half the mortgage and child maintenance would have been your lot and you could probably consider both paid when you take into account that you did not need to pay the household bills.  

You legally do not have any child maintenance arrears if this was not  done via CMS. However she may always feel she is owed it in her mind although I would disagree as you paid the bills in lieu kinda so it is likely you won’t get your money back so may be best to suck it up and not expect it ? 

Was there any equity from the sale of the house, was it shared and did the brother pay towards the mortgage ? 

robertoefc

Thanks, that's how I feel, and why I was so taken aback when she said I should have been paying more. I was paying a third of my take home salary as a minimum, and in fact was also repaying debt I took on from furnishing the house when we moved in a year earlier, which she has since refused to contribute to. I should add that throughout the entire time she has been fairly reasonable about access to our son tho; I see him 3 times a week as a minimum, and occasionally more often.

We made a decent profit on the sale of the house, although we are both now looking to buy from the same inflated market so it won't go very far unfortunately. No her brother didn't pay anything, he was only on the mortgage as she could not get one when we wanted to buy.

Twixty3

Going forward you just have to pay child maintenance to her. Nothing more,  unless you want to. 

I do hope life turns out well for all of you and  that you are both able to find homes and continue to share your son  

tightauldgit

To be honest I'm slightly confused as to why a solicitor told you that you are obliged to pay half the mortgage but nevertheless going forward all you are legally required to pay is whatever CMS say you need to pay for child maintenance. 

In the absence of any legal agreement it's difficult to talk about what you were obliged to pay previously. You certainly weren't obliged to pay her bills, but you choose to. 

I would have thought the solicitors costs would have been deducted from the proceeds before they were distributed out. But you're certainly able to ask for them now, of course she might say no. 

ZaSa1418

You are not being unreasonable.

Explain that you were not liable to pay any of the bills as you had moved out but you did as that was what was agreed, she can't now change the goalposts to try and get more money. 

If she does not like it then say you are more than happy to pay her 10 months worth of maintenance if she is going to refund you the same 10 months worth of bill payments.