So so close to debt-free; why do I feel weird?

middlingditch

Hi all

I'm really close to finishing paying off nearly £30k of credit card debts in about 3.5 years, through extra earnings and tight budgeting. I know it's a huge achievement and I should feel great about it... but right now I mainly feel kind of hollow and "so what". Why?? 

I'm actually solvent as of now (I have more money in the bank and various bits of savings than I owe on my last credit card), but am choosing to fully pay off the last little bit in lower payments over the next few months (it's at 0% so makes no difference), so that I don't leave myself short of cash and I can "ease" my way into the mindset of being fully debt-free. I was worried I might get a feeling of anticlimax or bewilderment if I suddenly finished paying it off. But I'm getting those feelings anyway...

Maybe it's just that I've focused really hard on this for so long and am used to thinking of all income in terms of putting it towards debts. Now I do have savings goals which I guess I'll be focusing on next, but they feel a bit... weak somehow? Compared with the urgency of getting debt-free. 

I dunno, I just wondered if anyone could relate.  

I do feel happy that this is the end of a very very long, bad era because I've FINALLY learnt how to budget and am fairly confident I won't get back into debt - having been in debt almost all of my adult life. But where's the pure "yay"...?

400ixl

Congratulations, great effort.

You have had your mind occupied and no doubt a level of stress that are now coming to an end. Planning a budget to enable you to save for the things you do want to buy without going into debt, or increasing the budgets in areas you have had to cut back on such as entertainment to get that new sustainable lifestyle in place will fill some of that void.

They pure Yay will perhaps just be a phew and relax moment. But why not do something with friends / family to celebrate to bring that Yay moment.

tacpot12

I can certainly relate. I cleared about £12,000 of personal debt, and remember feeling the same feeling that you describe. I was able to move on and focused on clearing my mortgage, and then saving for an early retirement. I acheived all these goals, but clearing my mortgage and having enough money to know I could retire meant more to me than clearing my debts. 

If you repay your mortage, you can 'never' lose your home so that felt like a big acheivement, and I definitely enjoyed it when my employer made me redundant when I was about to retire! But I think it is the nature of financial goals that they are relatively private, but what you have acheives IS a great acheivement! You should take some time to look at the positives and really feel/enjoy the freedom from your debts. 

middlingditch

400ixl said:

They pure Yay will perhaps just be a phew and relax moment. But why not do something with friends / family to celebrate to bring that Yay moment.

Thank you. I think you have hit on something there, there is actually only one friend I have confided in about my debts (for various reasons, mostly shame) so maybe it feels a bit lonely as an achievement and it feels "stifled". Anyway I will make sure I celebrate with that friend and it will help I'm sure! 

RAS

Congratulations.

I think it is common to feel hollow/deflated whatever your words after achieving any goal.

Partly, I suspect, is that really it? Partly, what the heck do I do now, sort feeling adrift?

The other thing I felt on a couple of occasions when I suddenly had more money than expected, I've struggled to buy stuff even if I needed it; too much choice perhaps.

And debt is a lonely road; how many of your family and friends really know about your journey, compared say with a team match or even a shared hike?

middlingditch

You're absolutely right @RAS - Thanks. And thanks to you too @tacpot12 - your further financial achievements are an inspiration! 

changeforbetter

I can certainly empathise with your thoughts and feelings (even though my debt is not yet paid).

I have paid back more than half of my original debt (started around 26k), and maybe more importantly I opened up to those closest to me (my wife mainly) about my debts, some time ago.

My first feelings were a lot of relief that things were turning around - I had been more honest and had actually got past that 50% paying down barrier (over 13k paid back). But following that I've sometimes felt a little empty about the whole process - basically it's not like feeling you've achieved much, just got back to 0 again (or closer to it in my case).

Maybe we don't feel we should reward ourselves for something we should never have done in the first place?

There is also the stress factor - I think in our darkest times we feel constant days of stress and worry (I did). When that goes you realise that there are still other things in life to deal with - e.g. relationships, health. Those sometimes were maybe not the focus when we obsessed about our debts, but suddenly can become bigger worries again when debt goes or reduces. Essentially, life isn't perfect, which we may have subconsciously expected it to be by paying our debts.

Just a few thoughts, but ultimately well done still! 

middlingditch

Lots of wisdom in every section of that, thank you. And well done to you on being over halfway there  

TripleH

It's not just debt, you build yourself up to do a long term task and often when it comes to the end you find you 'enjoyed' the journey. A bit like a long holiday, the last couple of days can be quite melancholic.

I would look at finding a new challenge in life to look forward to, ie buying house / paying off mortgage / saving for dream holiday / new hobby / something else?

MovingForwards

When I got a CC I freaked out (I was still I debt at that point):

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5905639/using-a-cc-and-the-fear/p1

I burst out crying when I knew I'd be debt free and had enough money for the other half of my mortgage deposit. I'd come into a bit of money and without it I would have had a few more years paying the debt off.

We all react differently, probably because of years slogging away to clear it and never really planning for what happens afterwards.

Humdinger1

@middlingditch I can really empathise.   I paid off well over 100k a few years ago; being on a debt free journey had become a big part of my identity.   I trained as a volunteer debt coach and also did (and still do) my best to teach my 18 year old DD to avoid the traps I fell into.  You will find what works for you and it doesn't need to be either of these but sharing your findings will I think help.  Last night, my daughter said that she was living beyond her means and needed to find a part time job before she heads off to uni in September.   That was a light bulb moment for me all over again.  I have subscribed and will be cheering you on.  Onwards and upwards love Humdinger xx