Going through bankruptcy and mental health

Foz13

I'm new to this site I was made bankrupt on 29th June I applied online without taking any advise just filed for bankruptcy I had a newsagents and post office which I was running with my 3 members of staff everything was OK till covid hit I was pregnant with health issues I was told to isolate my husband is a taxi driver he popped in and out of the shop as and whenever I got bounce back loan stock was bought but in that time after having my baby I started to suffer from mental health issues they were there I could see myself changing day by day debts started piling up at the shop and I kept burying my head under the pillow to a point I couldn't cope my husband stopped popping into the shop his mum died and had to go and attend to his dad who's disabled every other month then bailiffs kept coming round to the shop I eventually closed the shop no money left to run it the bailiffs came home I hid with my baby in a wardrobe I traumatised my baby the day after my husband decided enough was enough I needed to get out of this mess and filled in my bk online my mental health is so bad I rang the office to tell them don't accept my application I'm not in the right mind frame to deal with questions I'm in bit writing this but the day I rang on that same day I got an email saying bk order has been made I was called into an office within 2 days I took my husband with me cause I'm not in a very dark place I couldn't answer the questions asked so my husband spoke most of the 3 hours there I remember at the end the OR saying I believe there's no misconduct in this case or any assets if she needs anything she will be intouch I can't do this any longer I see her in my mind everyday I can't sleep or eat and searching Google I came across this group she has asked for accounts what will she do with them I'm definitely depressed please help

Sonic101

Hi there

I’m so sorry to read your story, you’ve really been through the mill.

First things first, it sounds like you’ve done the right thing declaring bankruptcy , good for you for having the courage to take the plunge, many people burry their heads in the sand longer than you did. 

If the OR has already has already said she doesn’t believe there’s any misconduct etc that’s a good thing. who hit hard times due to COVID. 

It’s normal to be asked accounts: statements in bankruptcy - they will just be checking to make sure they’re weren’t  any ‘dodgy’ transactions (such as transferring large sums of money to try and hide assets). They'll understand that you’re just another unfortunate person who fell victim to the COVID crisis, not a fraudster, so honestly, you should have nothing to worry about.

Your debts are wiped out and in time you will be able to start rebuilding your life again. 


With regards to your mental health, it sounds like you might have post-natal depression - are you getting any support?

I’ve not experienced that, but I do get depression from time to time and I know what it’s like to feel utter despair. If you haven’t done so, please reach out for help - be it your GP, an organisation like Mind , and/or friends and family. Are there any groups fod news mums in the area  you could connect with? 

And please feel free to post here if you need any advice or just to vent.

Hang in there and take care x

Foz13

Thank you for replying to my post I'm just scared soo much cause of my state of mind I can't remember most things which happened in my bank statements I'm not in a good place right now just want everything to go away 😔

sourcrates

I know its only natural to be afraid of the unknown, and you appear to have had more than your fair share of bad luck here, so lets just run through a few things that will (hopefully) put your mind more at ease.

A normal, simple Bankruptcy these days, is pretty straightforward, the OR will always want to know the circumstances that led to the bankruptcy, they are not looking to apportion any blame, they simply want to understand what went wrong, and why, you just have to be honest with them, and do what they ask, and all will be fine.

Usually after the initial interview, that is that, they won`t normally ask to see you again, and you won`t have further contact from them, unless they have any question`s, just as she said to you.
So you have nothing more to fear from the creditors, you ride out your 12 months and that`s it, you will normally be discharged after that, and you are then free of your debts.

These days it`s quite a simple process, if no property or assets are involved, and there is no suggestion of foul play, which in your case there is not, as they have confirmed, basically you should now try to relax, as you are over the hump, the hard part is over, debt wise, your now OK.

MalMonroe

Hi, some lovely and supportive responses here. You have had at least three major and very traumatic experiences in a very short space of time and that's enough to make anyone feel depressed. Many years ago, I had post-natal depression after my child was born but I didn't realise I had suffered from it until a few years later. In fact, I was so naive I didn't even think it was something women suffered from at the time.

In spite of everything, you do seem to have managed well enough to get your bankruptcy application accepted though. The OR will just want to look at your incomings and outgoings, it's just a normal procedure. I had a DRO a few years ago and I had to supply my Statement of Account (just another phrase for incomings and outgoings).

You said "if she needs anything she will be intouch . . .  has asked for accounts what will she do with them. . ." She will only go through them as a check. It's usually nothing to worry about. And she has said she will be in touch IF she needs anything. You really do need to give yourself some credit and cut yourself some slack. You have done well.

If you did want to speak to anyone about your finances - and I know your bankruptcy is in progress - you could still talk to someone at one of the debt help agencies - look at the bottom of sourcrates' message above, they are listed and if you click on the names the details will pop up.

The best thing about those agencies is that nobody judges you or tries to make you feel foolish or silly because you have ended up in debt. Many people on this forum have been in similar circumstances. You could talk to someone to put your mind at ease and just get the inside information that really will help you. As Sonic101 said, you could also reach out to your GP - help is out there.

I'm really sorry that your husband decided to leave at such a crucial time in your life. I do hope that he is able to help you with child care - having someone else caring for your child will give you a break and time to try to get things sorted. At least your husband went with you to your meeting with the OR. 

I think you are a very strong woman, even though you don't believe in yourself. I also think that you are over the worst now.

You're also not the only person who's ever hidden from people calling for money. I used to hide behind the sofa with my small child. She wasn't traumatised one bit by the experience and I'm sure your child won't be either. In fact I tried to make a game of it. 

You need to call on your husband more. You don't have the option of leaving and he needs to step up and share child care, at the very least.

Good luck! But as I've said, you really are on the road to recovery, it just doesn't seem like it at the moment. 

fatbelly

As far as your debts are concerned you seem to have done the right thing

As far as your mental health...you really need to engage with your GP. Modern antidepressants are very effective but take a few weeks to kick in. Lots of people get post-natal depression and find them really helpful.

ToxtethO'Grady

You can find your local urgent mental health helpline through the NHS, they are available 24 hours a day. This website outlines who you can approach and gives links to find access to these NHS services in your area.

As others have said please talk to your GP or there are talking and psychotherapy courses through the NHS.

Your debts are being sorted and it is your mental health that you would be best to concentrate on now.

StepChange_Patience

Hi there

It looks like you've got some really supportive messages here, I think you're incredibly brave for reaching out for help I know it's not easy to do. 

As others have said already, it sounds positive that the Official Receiver has advised there's no misconduct and hopefully this will give you and your young family a fresh start.

It sounds like you've been through an incredibly difficult time, with some big life changes in a short period. I would also suggest, when you're ready to reach out to your GP, Mind or the Samaritans for support. 

I know I may not have any additional information to provide, I'm just here to let you know that you aren't on your own and if you need someone to talk to, you're more than welcome to contact us.

If you need anything else, don't hesitate to come back to this thread. 

Please take care of yourself.

Patience