Do I have to pay all of the mortgage and child support?

Eyespy_2

Hi All
Recently separated, dad of three, stay at home wife. Do I have to continue to pay all of the mortgage and child support or does the child support allowance cover the mortgage or do I pay half of the mortgage plus child support.

My wife had an affair and I am now scraping by trying to afford new living accommodation and still paying for her life and our children as though I never left. I cannot afford legal advice so any help would be really appreciated.

TIA

RAS

I'd suggest you check out wikivorce.com.

And consider moving back in until the divorce is finalised. And saving up meantime. You can be separated for the purposes of benefits and both resident, so she can claim. The other option is you just pay CMS and accept your credit rating being shot for years.

Doing the divorce is reasonable £593, but the financial settlement is much harder to deal with but absolutely essential. You would be wise to start with mediation but may need to go to court. It's probable she'll get more than half (equity +pension). The longer you leave the financial settlement the more there will be for her to share. And if she wants to stay in the house, she'll need to re-mortgage herself. 

tacpot12

I'm going to assume that you were married to your wife, and that you have not yet gotten a divorce with a financial settlement. 

In this situation, you don't have to pay anything, but need to consider how your children will eat, and how a roof will be maintained over their head if you stop paying. Practically you need to pay enough to stop the house being repossed, and enough so that she can feed them, but you also need to be able eat and to live somewhere yourself. 

You need to get a financial arrangement agreed with your ex. asap. 

Child Maintenance normally includes the cost of food, clothing and housing. One way to view the cost of housing for the children is to look at the cost of housing for you: e.g. your rent might be £400 pcm. This means that your wife might also have to pay £400 if she were also single, but if the children are staying with her, she needs an extra amount for a larger property. Lets say your mortgage is £900 pcm, so the extra that the children cost to house is £500 pcm.  (£900 - £400) You should be paying half the cost of housing the children, and she should be paying half. (as a stay-at-home mum she can claim benefits). So she should be paying £400 herself, and £250 for the children (which is also what you should be paying). But, you should also be paying half the cost of feeding and clothing the children. If you were to agree this arrangement, it would cause a problem in that she would start to build up an unequaly equity in the property, and so it may be necessary for you pay half the mortgage in order to make it easier to split the equity if the house is ever sold or she remarries. 

The problem for her is that to pay half the mortage and half the cost of feeding and clothing the children she is going to either have to work or claim benefits. She may not be happy about doing either, and may refuse to do either, but I think for your sake, you should only pay half the mortgage and the child maintenance that you have to pay (less what the Child Maintenance includes for housing). I would use the Child Maintenance Service calculator to find out what you should be paying in Child Maintenance, and ask her what her budget is for food and clothing for the children. With these figres you  should be able to see if she is asking for too much for food and clothing.  

You might want to head over to Wikivorce for more advice and experience. UK's most visited online site for free divorce advice (wikivorce.com) 

tightauldgit

It kind of depends by what you mean by 'do i have to pay?' as you have legal commitments to the mortgage company as well as legal responsibilities for your children but there's nothing your wife can do to e.g. force you to pay the mortgage and until she goes through the CMS ditto the child maintenance. Do we assume that you are permanently separated and filing for divorce with no intent to return? 

Breaking it down a little bit...

Did you have a joint mortgage? If you are both joint and severally liable for it - in other words the bank can come after either or both of you for all of it. The bank also dont care if you live in it or not, if you are separated or not, or who pays for what. They just want their money every month. 

I don't know what you and your wife's situation is financially but your options are either:

1. You pay it all (don't expect to see the money again)
2. You come to an agreement to share the payments (which she may or may not agree and you may still not see your money again)
3. You don't pay anything - and deal with the bank when they start looking for their money. 

If the mortgage is solely in your name your options are pretty much the same except it's only you the bank will pursue for their payments and there really is no reason for your wife to agree to make any payments towards it. 

Of course, you don't HAVE to move out of the house. You could remain in the property and not incur the costs of accommodation - not ideal but if you are struggling with money it may be necessary. 

The subject of child support is completely separate to the subject of the mortgage. You don't technically have to pay anything until your wife makes a claim through CMS but you may well prefer to make an agreement with her of what you will pay. Ethically you also have a responsibility to support your kids. Once CMS get involved its a mechanical calculation based on your income, number of kids and number of nights they spend with you and you will have to pay it regardless of any other agreement you reach on e.g. the mortgage. 

While I appreciate you can't afford legal advice most solicitors will offer a free consultation at least and this shouldn't mean that you don't get things legally sorted because it absolutely is in your best interest to get these things formally sorted out ASAP. You need to get a financial agreement in place and a clean break agreed ASAP. Worst case scenario right now you are contributing to a mortgage and building up equity in the property which is considered a marital asset and will be awarded 50% or more to your wife in a financial settlement. 

TBagpuss

IF your wife has not applied to theCMS then one otpion is to use the calculator to work out what the CMS payments would nbe and then see how thoe compare to the mortgage. Prose that you pay the mortgage in lieu of child support for the present.

As between you and the lender, then you and your wife (assuming the mortgage is in joint names) have joint and several liability.Which means you are both liable for all of the mortgage, it's not half each. The mortgage company don't care who pays as long as someone does, and if you don't, it will affect both of your credit records and furuter borrowing capacities, and they can pursue you both for any arrears. 

As between you and her, you don't *havbe* to pay her anything except the child support, unless a court order is made that says otherwise. 

I assume that she is now applying for UC and(depending n the ages of the childnre) loking for work.

You can look at www.entitledto.co.uk to see how much she is likely to be able to claim and whether she is likely to be able to afford to pay the mortgage / other outgoings.

Sometimes it can be reasonable to say that you will continue to pay the mortgage for x months and then to pay half of it for a further y months, to allow her time to lofimnd work and adjust her budget, or to allow tme for the two of you to get the house on the maket .

But what is reasonable and parcatical is going to be different for eveyone depending on your situation.

You can't afford not to get legal advice. 

Are you paying bills as well as the mortgage/ if so, notify them that you are no longer living at the property, get final bills and pay them, then stop paying those outgoings.

Talk to your wife - ask her what her propsoals are to move forward bearing in mind that you obviousyl can't continue to pay as much for any length of time