Feel guilty for looking at alternative jobs

laurey0301

Hi Guys

I work for a small company and have worked here for 3.5 years now. When i first started the job i had one specific role and the pay was adequate for what i was doing at the time. Around a year and a half ago i took on another role despite having no official contract, my boss said he would review my pay and nothing happened.
I have taken on a lot more responsibility and do a lot more now but i hate confrontation and find these chats very difficult.
April time i finally plucked up the courage to ask him for a pay review, and review on incentives and bonuses he has previously promised and never delivered on. As looking around at other jobs i am underpaid massively. He agreed to this and said we would have a meeting in a week or so time to discuss how to move forward.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago i hadn't heard back from him still and decided to chase him.
I have now set up 5 meetings with him which we both agreed, to review everything in the past two weeks, and he has cancelled/forgotten/not bothered with any of them. The latest one was meant to be yesterday and didn't happen, he hasnt even acknowledged the fact the meeting hasn't happened either so I cant help but feel he is fobbing me off and avoiding this but i am seriously getting fed up of feeling used. It was hard enough to bring the issues up in the first place and to ask for a review, i shouldnt have to chase him so much?
The problem with it being a small company is i feel very loyal and it all feels a lot more personal. Am i wrong to look for another job? I feel so guilty for even looking as i dont want to screw him over in a way, but i dont feel the situation will get any better and its honestly making me miserable.

TIA x

Savvy_Sue

You're not wrong. Consider, who is screwing who over? You by looking for another job because you are underpaid, or him for refusing to consider your role and salary?

MovingForwards

It's not wrong to look for a new job. There's only so many times you'll try to get a payrise and other perks; your boss has made it clear he's not interested in meeting with you otherwise he would attend.

Dust your CV off, update it and get applying to other companies.

TELLIT01

The company management has shown you no loyalty, in fact they have been stringing you along for years.  You owe them nothing.  You have been (under)paid for doing a job and that is the start and end of the situation.  If you can get more elsewhere I would stop trying to discuss your situation with your boss.  If you get the new job, hand your notice in on the day you need to in order to comply with notice requirements and not a day sooner.  If your leaving creates problems for them, that is a situation for them to resolve.

jcuurthht

Your job is to look out for yourself and what is best for you. Your bosses job is to look out for the business. and deal with the scenario of people leaving.

Your boss doesn't respect or appreciate you. If you do stay and manage to get an increase, he'll resent you. He may even start looking for a replacement. When you do decide to quit, they'll suddenly offer you that raise you have been chasing for months. Never accept it.

littlegreenparrot

If your boss can't even do you the courtesy of attending a meeting, then why should you do him any favours?

The only person that is going to look out for you, is you. He's had plenty of time to sort himself out and has chosen not to, so absolutely root out that CV and start looking around. 

When you have something else sorted out do not allow anyone to guilt trip you. You are entirely within your rights to look for somewhere that your skills are appropriately valued. 

Alanp

Your only loyalty is to you..don’t wait any longer, find something else, if the boot was on the other foot, how loyal would your boss be to you.?

Own_Worst_Enermy

Don't feel guilty - That's why there is a notice period.

I work in a small business and a lovely colleague raised concern there was to much work to do / to much was expected, the boss literally said 'you know what to do' and with that they walked out on the spot after 18 months doing the job and giving their all to the place, overtime, turning up to work early, working long hours etc and that's honestly what the boss came out with.  

Marcon

laurey0301 said:

Hi Guys

I work for a small company and have worked here for 3.5 years now. When i first started the job i had one specific role and the pay was adequate for what i was doing at the time. Around a year and a half ago i took on another role despite having no official contract, my boss said he would review my pay and nothing happened.
I have taken on a lot more responsibility and do a lot more now but i hate confrontation and find these chats very difficult.
April time i finally plucked up the courage to ask him for a pay review, and review on incentives and bonuses he has previously promised and never delivered on. As looking around at other jobs i am underpaid massively. He agreed to this and said we would have a meeting in a week or so time to discuss how to move forward.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago i hadn't heard back from him still and decided to chase him.
I have now set up 5 meetings with him which we both agreed, to review everything in the past two weeks, and he has cancelled/forgotten/not bothered with any of them. The latest one was meant to be yesterday and didn't happen, he hasnt even acknowledged the fact the meeting hasn't happened either so I cant help but feel he is fobbing me off and avoiding this but i am seriously getting fed up of feeling used. It was hard enough to bring the issues up in the first place and to ask for a review, i shouldnt have to chase him so much?
The problem with it being a small company is i feel very loyal and it all feels a lot more personal. Am i wrong to look for another job? I feel so guilty for even looking as i dont want to screw him over in a way, but i dont feel the situation will get any better and its honestly making me miserable.

TIA x

Loyal to what - an ideal?

Read the last line of your own post, stop making such a big deal of your feelings, and focus on making a sensible career decision.

JGB1955

None of us are indispensable (whatever we may hope/think);  time to move on...

badmemory

What they all said!