Can anyone help?. Struggling to reduce costs

elsien

For information Stepchange are one of the free debt charities. There is nothing to stop him contacting them about his changed circumstances, telling them that he now needs to pay towards his/your household expenses and asking for a review of the current plan. It’s not set in stone and can be changed. 

It would help if he clarified whether all debts are in joint names or some are in his name alone? It’s not a decision his ex can just impose on him. 

suziebear1985

elsien said:

For information Stepchange are one of the free debt charities. There is nothing to stop him contacting them about his changed circumstances, telling them that he now needs to pay towards his/your household expenses and asking for a review of the current plan. It’s not set in stone and can be changed. 

It would help if he clarified whether all debts are in joint names or some are in his name alone? It’s not a decision his ex can just impose on him. 

Thankyou I will let him know. I don't know too much about the agreement as they had that arrangement in place before I met him. From what I understand nearly all the debts are in her name but he pledged to pay half as he was jointly responsible for incurring them.

Bluegreen143

I think it sounds like a good plan to get some savings in place with that extra money once your holiday is paid off - perhaps you could start pension contributions then too? 

Obviously it’s more of a worry if you think your wage will go down, are you moving jobs? 

On your current income, £500 put in savings every month would be a 19% savings rate which is actually fairly decent IMO for what is effectively a one income family (if it all makes it to savings once the holiday is paid off). It’s good to consider where to make cuts, but if you don’t plan to book another holiday and are able to stick to the budget as posted you should manage to build a decent emergency fund in a few months and maybe overpay your loan too?

elsien

suziebear1985 said:

elsien said:

For information Stepchange are one of the free debt charities. There is nothing to stop him contacting them about his changed circumstances, telling them that he now needs to pay towards his/your household expenses and asking for a review of the current plan. It’s not set in stone and can be changed. 

It would help if he clarified whether all debts are in joint names or some are in his name alone? It’s not a decision his ex can just impose on him. 

Thankyou I will let him know. I don't know too much about the agreement as they had that arrangement in place before I met him. From what I understand nearly all the debts are in her name but he pledged to pay half as he was jointly responsible for incurring them.

Then if that’s the case he can pay her back at a lower rate. If he wasn’t with you he’d have to be paying out for rent and all the other expenses anyway. No reason you should be struggling just because he’s with you rather than living independently - he’s not being fair to you as things stand.

suziebear1985

Bluegreen143 said:

I think it sounds like a good plan to get some savings in place with that extra money once your holiday is paid off - perhaps you could start pension contributions then too? 

Obviously it’s more of a worry if you think your wage will go down, are you moving jobs? 

On your current income, £500 put in savings every month would be a 19% savings rate which is actually fairly decent IMO for what is effectively a one income family (if it all makes it to savings once the holiday is paid off). It’s good to consider where to make cuts, but if you don’t plan to book another holiday and are able to stick to the budget as posted you should manage to build a decent emergency fund in a few months and maybe overpay your loan too?

Thankyou and thanks for taking the time to reply and share advice. Considering the current climate it was foolish to book a holiday as everything was so uncertain following Covid but petrol and food hadn't increased as much then so i thought it would be manageable. I can certainly start saving as soon as that last payment is paid next month so I'll do that. My job was a fixed term contract for 2 years which ends in June, I've no idea whether it will be extended or made permanent as of yet and if I return to my old job it will be a large wage drop. It will be difficult to find another comparable job to what I do as I lecture in a very niche area so just trying to be prepared and forward thinking.

Spendless

At the absolute bare  minimum your partner needs to be paying from his wages  25% of your  council tax bill plus his contribution to the grocery bill. These are definitely the expenses you would not have if he wasn't there. 

Bluegreen143

@Spendless yes, that’s a good way to think about it, you could make an argument for paying some of the energy costs too as no doubt he uses electricity when he’s there.

@suziebear1985 that does put a more urgent spin on things if you could end up unemployed or on a big drop within the month. I see why you’re concerned. I would drop any non essentials for this month (Netflix, music, kids’ savings, any “extras” like coffee out), have a chat with your partner re him contributing (if he is really unwilling to pay anything at all, has he considered how he will afford to live if you decide you can’t put him up anymore?) and maybe ask your family member if (in the event of losing your job) they would accept lower payments or a payment holiday til you get a new one.

Spendless

Bluegreen143 said:

@Spendless yes, that’s a good way to think about it, you could make an argument for paying some of the energy costs too as no doubt he uses electricity when he’s there.

@suziebear1985 that does put a more urgent spin on things if you could end up unemployed or on a big drop within the month. I see why you’re concerned. I would drop any non essentials for this month (Netflix, music, kids’ savings, any “extras” like coffee out), have a chat with your partner re him contributing (if he is really unwilling to pay anything at all, has he considered how he will afford to live if you decide you can’t put him up anymore?) and maybe ask your family member if (in the event of losing your job) they would accept lower payments or a payment holiday til you get a new one.

Yes, I purposely left utilities out of it because it's so variable within each household. Eg My parents sit in the same room, to watch the same TV show, go to bed at the same time, have set meal times, eating the same thing. They only use the bathroom separately!  and though my Dad can use a computer my Mum can't and he uses it for things like looking for hols for them both, or booking Drs appt or finding cheaper household insurance. It would be really difficult to separate their bill up.

bouicca21

I’d definitely want to see the partner’s budget.  As Spendless says he should be at least contributing to the food and council tax.  Otherwise he’s just freeloading.

pelirocco

suziebear1985 said:

Spendless said:

Hi, this board is very handy for thrifty tips. Just making you aware there's also a debt free board if you wish them to go through your budget and perhaps help with your partner's debts too.

Just for clarification are you saying that your partner lives with you but doesn't contribute anything from their wages to the household budget?

Something I noticed is you're paying £60 a month for your son's train pass. Is this your 16yo? Are you using this railcard to reduce costs. (16-17 saver) 

 https://www.thetrainline.com/trains/great-britain/railcards/16-17-saver?cm=0p2a&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqPGUBhDwARIsANNwjV6EuMM_QJImc4UE9Pi2aw0Ttc-qr8wk4XwP6bVRbkXPcT5C5xo9u70aArCMEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

hanks I will take a look at that board. Yes my partner contributes nothing (the mortgage and bills are in my name only) it isn't an ideal situation and it does make life hard but it's tricky. He and his ex wife racked up about £26,000 of debt in their marriage. They are paying it back through a company called step change?. As she works for the government she is refusing to have an IVA or any agreement that does not result in paying the loan back in full so they have about 8 years left on that. He also has extremely high travel costs as he doesn't drive and requires train pass, bus pass and taxi fare to get to work and pays around £250 maintenance payments. He also smokes to the tune of £200 but I won't even get into that. My 16 year old has a saver card but is travelling to a different town for college so it still works out quite expensive

From what  I have gathered from this site ,is that Step Change agree a repayment  plan based on the persons income/ outgoings and its only money left after  all living expenses are met are taken into account that is  used to put against debt

I think your "partner " is pulling a fast one ,sorry