debt - what to do know

jenga_2

Hi all

Dont really know where to start but please bear with me, bout 4 years ago i got involved with a woman and proceeded to rack up about £15k worth of debt within 18 months. I then got rather depressed about the debt, lost about 4 stone in weight, barely ate and didnt sleep properly for about 6 months.
During this period i split from my girlfriend with only a tv, stereo and this laptop i'm typing on to show for. All this debt comes from living beyond our reach and myself being a complete moron. Anyway my mum bailed me out of the late payment fees and payed off my credit card of £3k which left my debt at £12k over 2 loans.

In the last 2 years mainly thanks to my fiance(sp?) we've managed to pay all my credit commitments and started to budget properly, that was until my bank decided to cancel my overdraft and unforeseen incident on holiday( payed for by my mum joint birthday present) which our insurance didnt cover.

Now my debt is currently at about £13-14k and the monthly payments at present are manageable, probably going to take about 7-8 years to clear. Now my fiance is about 4 months pregnant, not planned but we've both come to terms with it and are quite looking forward to becoming parents:o.

At the beginning of December i got a letter saying my ex has done a runner from the house that i signed as a guarantor for so i'm personally liable for 2 months rent only £800. Great. Now i've no way of paying this debt in full and any payment scheme i enter with the letting agent is going to very painful to my budget and with a baby on the way its not gonna get any easier. Add to this me and my partner are living with my brothers because we cant afford our own place and we've got nowhere else to go

In the last two weeks i've gone from being happy and looking forward to being a dad, to feeling like crap, my sleep starting to suffer which aint good when your up at 4 in the morning and i've got no appetite at all.

I've been to to my local CAB office and i've got an appointment to see a debt specialist in early January, but no doubt the letting agents will be in touch before then. CAB have advised me not to enter any repayment scheme until i've seen the debt specialist but will the letting agent be willing to wait so long without any payment?
Sorry for such a long rant, most of this is me getting stuff of my chest but my main reason for this thread is to ask what do i do now? Take on another debt and struggle on? or is there another answer? Thanks for any advice/replys

ClaireLR

Hi Jenga,

Have you been in touch with any of the debt charities yet? Someone will be along shortly to post links to websites/phone numbers for you to contact. There are other ways out other than BR but they may advise that that's your best route depending on you salary and living expenses.

Come back and let us know how you get on.

ClaireLR

Just found this link on another thread

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loa...help-plan#help

There are numbers on there to contact, I can personally recommend CCCS who I contacted prior to my BR and they were extremely knowledgable, helpful and understanding, but any of the numbers on there can be contacted.

HTH

tigerfeet2006

Hi Jenga,

The links Claire was talking about are in my sig.

Try giving someone like National Debtline a ring and do as the CAB have advised and don't enter into any plans untill you have advice

debt_doctor

Hi, i'm glad you are going to see a cab debt adviser. I would nt normally pre judge the outcome but if I were your debt caseworker I would be saying that you need to concentrate on your new family and gain a fresh start through BR. If you have no assetts then all the other options would just draw out the agony, and with the exitement and challenges that a new baby brings a fresh debt free life would give your new family a fresh start.

Best

DD

meech78

Congratulations on your impending fatherhood!! :beer:

I agree with the others, talk to the CCCS and see what they can come up with.....in principal i agree with Debt doctor, because at the end of the day, becoming a dad is more than enough to cope with without having to worry about debts that are not really any fault of your own! And, whilst it is great that your mum has helped you out in the past, it would be much easier for you and your fiance not to feel like you were in debt to your mum when you should be concentrating on enjoying being parents (dirty nappies, staying up all night, first smiles, first giggles, first steps, there is nothing like it!)..

I personally think it would be easier to enjoy your new member of the family when he/she arrives with a fresh start and not have the worry of the debts...i did it the wrong way round and went BR a couple of weeks ago when my lo was/is 20 months old...now wish i had done it sooner as we would have been able to enjoy him a lot more without worrying about money issues!

Either way, get your tushy down to the CAB in jan and see what advice they can offer you...we are all here and know how you feel! At the end of the day, whilst going BR is by no means an easy thing to do, it may well suit you and your partner to do it whilst you are not too busy with mini you..PLUS you need to be able to enjoy your life whilst you still can!!

Best of luck x

jenga_2

Hi all

Thanks for all the kind comments, its good to know i can talk to people who've been through this kind of problem and are willing to share their knowledge and experience of it so thanks again.

I would like to say i'm not dead set on declaring bankruptcy, between now and seeing the CAB debt adviser i'm going to do some research on the internet into possible options for my situation.

Having talked to my partner and mother, who where both really supportive i'm starting to feel better about the situation. i'm going to try my best not to get down over it all and look at the positive in my life and deal with the problem as best i can.

So would you recommend speaking to some other debt charities as well as the CAB?
Thanks again for your advice/ comments :A

tigerfeet2006

I would contact and talk to as many people as possible if I were you.Learn about BR all the in's and out's and the pro's and con's. Find out as many facts as you can.

A very good forum to look at in an environment that is managed by people with first hand experience of bankruptcy, and moderated to ensure that no deliberately inflammatory or abusive posts are made is:

http://bankruptcysupportersclub.co.uk/default.aspx

meech78

Try CCCS, they seem to come up with a whole heap of ideas not just BR! Good luck!

jenga_2

tigerfeet2006 wrote: »

I would contact and talk to as many people as possible if I were you.Learn about BR all the in's and out's and the pro's and con's. Find out as many facts as you can.

A very good forum to look at in an environment that is managed by people with first hand experience of bankruptcy, and moderated to ensure that no deliberately inflammatory or abusive posts are made is:

http://bankruptcysupportersclub.co.uk/default.aspx

Thanks for the link, i'm really grateful.
When i think about being declared bankrupt i really feel like a failure. I come from a very working class background and before my dad died and while he was ill my mother struggled alot to provide for me and my brothers and sister often working 2 or 3 jobs all the while never borrowing a penny from anyone but i'm 14k in debt through stupidity and to be honest it makes me feel like crap. As much as my mum and partner support me mentally i still feel like a failure.

Thanks once again for all the comments and advice

lucielle

Hi Jenga

We are in a similar kind of predicament to you. We are 61k in debt and still keeping our noses above the water. We spoke to cccs and they were really helpful.. I know how you feel about being a failure but you have to rise above this and try to keep focused on the baby coming and the impending fatherhood. I saw articles about people up to their eyeballs in debt and thought silly twits, and look at us now silly twits also. At the end of the day its only money and as long as you have your health and partner supporting you keep going. We have 4 ankle biters and they certainly keep us going!
Good Luck
Luielle