How realistic is it to get a job with a very good wage?

Chiyo

kimwp said:

Chiyo said:

So how realistic is it? I’m intelligent enough and excel in all core subjects, but I have social anxiety and low self esteem so I’m not charismatic and definitely can’t sell myself to employers. Is the poverty cycle breakable for somebody like me, and is it ‘easy’ to do so long as I’m happy to put in all the hard work?

Just a note on this - anxiety and low self esteem do not equate to not being charismatic and unable to sell yourself. I have friends with social anxiety and they are funny, fun and very charming. Until recently, I had very low self-esteem, but I've always done well (albeit I'd probably have done better with higher self-esteem). A tip is when you go for an interview, talk about what you have done and what you would do if given a certain task, rather than who you feel yourself to be or how you value yourself. Instead of "I'm amazing at solving problems", say "if faced with a problem, I think about what I know and don't know and what evidence there is that could help me and seek help where there is a gap" (like you did here). Talking about what you like about a company or a person, asking questions and smiling go a long way as well. 

Thanks! This is really useful advice. Just realised that I’ve always subconsciously assumed that potential employers would be judging me as a character, rather than my skills and abilities. This is a really encouraging perspective!

Chiyo

robatwork said:

In the IT industry I've met many people with the charisma of a pumice stone. 

If you think your affinity to science could land you a technical role, then look at something like programming or database administration. 

Company directors don't care if their programmers and DBAs are a bit weird/OCD/anxious/borderline autistic. As long as the code they produce is sound and the databases stay online.

Thanks! I’m a pretty chatty, social person despite being anxious so that type of environment sounds a little depressing to me, but it’s one step closer to figuring out what I WOULD like to do. Great idea to look for an industry that doesn’t give a monkeys about how charismatic I am.

Chiyo

Kathy535 said:

I’m fortunate to earn what is seen as a good wage and it’s been helped by doing two Masters; the first while a single parent to a primary school age child. It’s been hard work and has taken time but I think that I moved from close to minimum wage to about £42k within 5 yrs.  I’m counting from when I got rid of my ex who constantly told me I would never amount to anything and did his best to destroy my confidence.  I did this in the public sector which might be somewhere you could look at because:

• The public sector is a really good place to be if you have family responsibilities - there are family friendly policies and remote working etc.  I was able to work compressed hours - 10 days over 9 - so that I had a day a fortnight to do all the hygiene stuff meaning weekends were free to spend with my child. 

• i know that there are a lot of things wrong with the public sector and it won’t suit everyone but for me it allowed me to take job ‘risks’ fairly safely - I was able to move 200 miles and still work for the same employer, I could move government departments and still have that continuity of service.  Likewise with secondments.  This meant I was able to build up my skill set and apply for promotion quickly.

• you get skills development - in addition to funding university degrees (which aren’t all that common), there is training in accountancy, project managment, leadership, hr etc etc

• There are development programmes at different levels for new and existing employees.

I currently work in the NHS and I would say that it’s similar for NHS in the central bodies (rather than hospitals etc) - there is personal development and opportunity.

I would say that I suffered from a lack of confidence and I found that separating out my job performance from my personal performance helped.  I seek feedback on what I’ve done well/could do differently, identify areas for development and work on those and I keep a log so that I can look back and see how far I’ve come.  And, I note successes down, think about what I learned from (I do this with failures too btw) and this also gives a set of examples to talk about at interviews.

It is doable but it’s hard work.  Good luck!

Thanks, this is all really encouraging. Especially from someone who started in a similar position to me.

Would you recommend working for the NHS from what you’ve seen? I am considering medical school as I’ve been very interested in how the body works since falling ill, and I’ve met plenty of quiet and awkward Doctors so hopefully anxiety wouldn’t be an issue once under control.

Chiyo

Ath_Wat said:

Chiyo said:

Sorry, I meant that any education setting I’ve been in I’ve always found English, Maths, Science etc very easy to grasp. I just meant that I don’t have difficulty with academics so that wouldn’t stop me from pursuing anything or getting a degree done.

To what level have you pursued these? What are your highest current qualifications in Maths and Science?

A good maths or engineering degree from a  good university is always very marketable but without knowing where you are at the moment it's impossible to know if that's a realistic ambition.

I’ve only got GCSE’s and some level 2 qualifications. I may do some A-levels privately next year but it seems quite costly to do so unsure if it’s realistic.

kimwp

Chiyo said:

robatwork said:

In the IT industry I've met many people with the charisma of a pumice stone. 

If you think your affinity to science could land you a technical role, then look at something like programming or database administration. 

Company directors don't care if their programmers and DBAs are a bit weird/OCD/anxious/borderline autistic. As long as the code they produce is sound and the databases stay online.

Thanks! I’m a pretty chatty, social person despite being anxious so that type of environment sounds a little depressing to me, but it’s one step closer to figuring out what I WOULD like to do. Great idea to look for an industry that doesn’t give a monkeys about how charismatic I am.

Just to counter this - the IT industry is more accepting of the quiet, because the work requires a lot of solo concentration (in addition to teamworking), but I know plenty of people in IT/software development who are very chatty and sociable. 
However if you prefer a continuously chatty environment, programme management might be something to look at. When we were back in the office, it was notable that the area with the programme managers was very noisy and the programming area (right next to them) was very quiet - however whenever I (an engineer) sat with them, they were quite happy to have a chat and a laugh. It's just that they can't do any work if they are chatting, whereas chatting is a big part of a PM's role.
I'm not sure why you think you are lacking in charisma if you are a chatty social person?

kimwp

Chiyo said:

Ath_Wat said:

Chiyo said:

Sorry, I meant that any education setting I’ve been in I’ve always found English, Maths, Science etc very easy to grasp. I just meant that I don’t have difficulty with academics so that wouldn’t stop me from pursuing anything or getting a degree done.

To what level have you pursued these? What are your highest current qualifications in Maths and Science?

A good maths or engineering degree from a  good university is always very marketable but without knowing where you are at the moment it's impossible to know if that's a realistic ambition.

I’ve only got GCSE’s and some level 2 qualifications. I may do some A-levels privately next year but it seems quite costly to do so unsure if it’s realistic.

Have you looked at what apprenticeships are available?

Doshwaster

robatwork said:

In the IT industry I've met many people with the charisma of a pumice stone. 

If you think your affinity to science could land you a technical role, then look at something like programming or database administration. 

Company directors don't care if their programmers and DBAs are a bit weird/OCD/anxious/borderline autistic. As long as the code they produce is sound and the databases stay online.

I have worked with many excellent programmers who are best left alone to do their thing.  They must have one of the highest OCD incidence rates of any profession apart from forensic accountants.

There are a number of good ways of entry into IT/Software that don't require an expert level of coding. Tech support, training, testing, documentation, project management etc.  Most people in software sales and marketing don't know the first thing about programming but their skill are in getting people to buy things but without them nobody else would get paid.

A good place to start is https://www.ratemyapprenticeship.co.uk/ - some of the schemes are harder to get on that a degree at a top university. Not surprising when you can get qualifications and real hands-on experience while getting paid for it and no debt.

kimwp

I think it's worth noting that obsessive compulsive disorder is a mental health condition where you have recurring thoughts and repetitive behaviours that you cannot control. Being tidy, organised or detailed oriented is not the same thing as having a serious mental health condition that causes distress and significant detriment to your life.

Savvy_Sue

Chiyo said:

Would you recommend working for the NHS from what you’ve seen? I am considering medical school as I’ve been very interested in how the body works since falling ill, and I’ve met plenty of quiet and awkward Doctors so hopefully anxiety wouldn’t be an issue once under control.

Anyone considering medical school should watch "This is going to hurt", currently on iPlayer. It's not an easy watch, even though it has some comedy aspects. The Good Doctor would give some idea of the barriers faced by a doctor with autism. 

Seriously, as a single parent, I think medical school would be a complete nightmare - the childcare you'd need for starters ... 

Chiyo said:

I’ve only got GCSE’s and some level 2 qualifications. I may do some A-levels privately next year but it seems quite costly to do so unsure if it’s realistic.

As a mature student, there would probably be pathways into a degree that didn't involve A levels - access courses are quite common in some subjects, and the older you get, the more your experience and recent learning becomes relevant. 

Sncjw

Medical school be a hard slog
 You would be studying alot and would have to make sacrifices. That's even if you get in. Plus it's constant learning and training. It doesn't stop when you qualify