Finding a balance

Chiyo

I want to do it all, and in doing so I always end up with nothing. I want be frugal and get some savings behind us. I want to be as eco friendly as I possibly can. I want my home to look nice and be a nice place to be. I want to be as healthy as can be. And lastly, I want ds to have a fulfilled childhood with lots of days out and experiences.

I don’t have much debt but I’m a definite panicker, often overcommitting and completely running out of money well before payday. Here’s hoping that this diary will keep me accountable, and help me think twice before making the usual bad decision!

A bit about my situation:
I’m a mid twenties single mother (though have a very helpful co-parent) to a preschooler, lucky enough to live in a housing association home with cheap rent. I have big dreams and consider myself rather proactive, but unfortunately became very unwell two years ago with no signs of improvement. It’s nothing terminal and I’m not in any pain, but it does hugely limit my mobility and has changed the course of my life.
I had to stop working and now rely solely on disability benefits, but am hoping to save enough money to do some distance learning so that if/when I begin to recover I’ll be nicely qualified.

I moved into my home just before falling ill, so making it a home has been a long, slow journey and there’s still lots of annoying little things that need sorting and fixing round the house. This is where a lot of my money tends to go as I can’t manage much by myself. Ds’s Dad takes him to all his clubs and groups which is great, but I tend to pay for everything as I receive some benefit money for ds. I need to get my food shopping under control, as I budget £50 a week which should be more than enough but often let food go off and have to buy extra. Must get organised! My bills are as low as I can get them. I’m tied into my phone contract for another year, but I’m not the type to upgrade while my current phone works fine so that should go right down once the contract is up.

I’ll be getting paid again on 3rd March so will be officially starting then, but my first and most important goal is to get my food shopping under control and actually stick to my meal plans, forcing myself to cook even on the days that I can hardly stand.

I’ll be mostly babbling to myself, but will be checking out everyone else’s diaries and invite you all to say hi! And of course I’ll post an SOA below, because the best part of this forum is noseying at others finances😂

Chiyo

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 1

Number of cars owned.................... 0[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 0

Benefits................................ 1580

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 1580[/b][b]

Monthly details [/b]

Rent.................................... 435

Council tax............................. 25

Electricity............................. 60

Gas..................................... 56

Water rates............................. 35

Mobile phone............................ 50

Internet Services....................... 35

Groceries etc. ......................... 200

Clothing................................ 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 20

Other child related expenses............ 68

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0

Haircuts................................ 12

Entertainment........................... 12

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1008[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Monthly flooring plan..........640.......55........0[b]

Total unsecured debts..........640.......55........-  [/b]

[b]

Monthly Budget Summary[/b]

Total monthly income.................... 1,580

Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,008

Available for debt repayments........... 572

Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 55[b]

Amount left after debt repayments....... 517[/b]

[b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]

Total assets (things you own)........... 0

Total HP & Secured debt................. -0

Total Unsecured debt.................... -640[b]

Net Assets.............................. -640[/b]

[i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.stoozing.com. 

Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]

Chiyo

A few bits about my SOA while I remember -

I’ve been trying to get life insurance but struggling to get accepted whilst Doctors aren’t sure what’s wrong with me.
I really must remember to get contents insurance ASAP though! I might have a look now actually.
I’m in an awkward area and can’t get cheaper internet round here.
I’ve not a clue how much I plan to spend for Christmas and Birthdays this years, I’ll have to really mull it over and decide. Luckily the soonest occasion is all the way in October so I have some time.
I’m not sure on clothes. I try to shop secondhand wherever possible, and definitely don’t buy enough for myself - I’m always convinced that I’m going to lose lots of weight in the near future so hold off on replacing anything, I really must stop that wishful thinking 🤔 
Ds is young so I can usually pick up a huge bundle for him on a yearly basis for around £60, which tends to include everything except underwear. I often buy him cute clothes that he doesn’t need on top of that, but that’s another habit that I really hope to stop soon.
I’m going to see how things go in March, then decide how much I can put away for an emergency fund.

I definitely know what to do, it seems to be actually doing it that I have a problem with😂 Will update as I go.

enthusiasticsaver

You have a good surplus so the first thing I would do is allocate some of your surplus to emergency savings every month so you are not tempted to go into debt if you have an unexpected bill or expense.

In terms of where you can cut back the mobile bill looks to be the most likely area to save once you are out of contract (assuming you are in a contract and repaying the cost of a handset). The groceries could also be cut back as it is just you and  presumably a young child. As you say being organised and meal planning should help avoid waste.  

I would advise savings in pots too for things like clothing for your DS and presents for birthdays and christmas and for things around the house. I am not sure what bank you are with but many of them now allow you to separate your balance into savings pots like Starling and Monzo. Saving for treats and days out is essential too.  Look at vouchers and coupons to get money off entrances.  Young children do not really need expensive things or days out though.  There is no mention of a car and you say you are limited in mobility.  Do you use taxis if you have to go out or public transport? 

Is contents insurance included in your rent?  I would look into life assurance too as you have a child. 

Chiyo

I think we may have cross posted, @enthusiasticsaver 😊 

I have made a mistake with my phone bill actually - I pay £50 for two separate contracts, but my ex partner sends me £25 a month to cover his so I should have listed it as £25 really.

I’ve covered life insurance, contents insurance, Christmas and Birthdays, clothes, and an emergency fund.

I only make it out of the house around once every month or two, but when I do I use public transport (I have a disabled persons buss pass which entitles me to free travel) as a taxi would mean lugging a big heavy carseat around for the day.

I take advantage of any parent-and-toddler rates, disability concessions and free carer entry but I don’t know of any other coupons or discounts available, what would you recommend?

Chiyo

So yesterday I was paid, and I immediately fell into my usual pattern of panicking over what needed buying. I’m determined to keep some money in my bank until next pay day, so I think that I’m going to come and write down my mental struggles here so that I can think logically about it all.

I’ve paid all my bills, put £200 aside for food and then bought a few extras that I probably shouldn’t have done😳. I ordered a new carseat for DS for £50 as he’s outgrown his, and you never know when there’s an emergency. I also ordered some bits for my first aid kit, as it’s really quite empty as (touch wood) nobody in the household has ever had any kind of accident. I’ve also finally booked to have my oven fixed which is going to cost £160, but hopefully it will save money in the long run as I can cook cheaper dishes once it’s back up and running. I’ve put £25 away for DS’s days out and treats this month, so I have £250 left altogether.

I went to the supermarket last Friday and my body has been paying for it dearly, so I don’t think I’ll be heading out anywhere this month which might help. I’m going to try to focus mostly on careful meal prepping this month, and trying to get DS to eat what I eat. He went through a really long phase as a toddler where he just went off all his favourite foods and would suddenly only eat bread, ham and fruit. It’s been a long slow journey but he’s finally becoming happy to try new things, and has even started requesting to try things he spots in the supermarket. A huge relief and I’m glad now that I didn’t try to force him and damage his relationship with food. I had been doubting myself slightly.

I find food shopping and meal planning a little overwhelming so I’ll be spending a lot of time over on the old style board gathering some inspiration. I do feel much calmer after getting all my thoughts and plans out on here.

vampirotoothus

Hi good luck on your journey. I think batch cooking would be really useful for you, if you don't already. Just put some meals in the freezer and then on your bad days you have good food to go to with no effort. Looking forward to following your journey V.

twiggy86

Sounds like you're doing great! Just a thought (which you may of course already considered) about selling the old car seat once the new one arrives? Just to take some pressure off as you said you're panicking. 

Aaleigha

Have you made a food inventory of you fridge freezer and larder 
If not I highly recommend you do 
Clear those first 
When you are well enough to cook do two lots to pop one in the freezer for bad days 
Always take a list with you and stick to it 
Yellow sticker foods are only bargains if you are going to use them 
As are the buy one for ....buy two for 
If you are not going to use the second within two weeks don't buy it 

Doing those things has saved me 70quid a month for 
W adults and 5 dogs their dried food is 70 quid every 2 to three months as it was before we cut right down 
When making casserole or mince dishes I always cooh half meat half lentils to keep costs down 
Hope those little tips in a little way 
We spend 200 a month on shopping we have no choice to use Sainsbury's or coop as we live in a small village 
And going to that town is 20mins each way and going to the other town is 30 mins each way both our supermarkets are small so not as much choice but also not as much waste