I am at rock bottom

SusieT

You have savings which is a good thing. Your credit is shot which in a way is a good thing as you will not be able to get any more, so will have to work your way out of this. 
The path of least stress to you would be a DMP, as once it is set up you will hand all the dealings with creditors to Stepchange, Payplan or whichever FREE company you choose to go through.
Personally I would stop paying the unsecured debts until they default, with the exception of Paypal and Amazon who I would pay from savings leaving you £1000 as an emergency fund, then you could pay as much as possible to Nationwide so that you are "only" left with the 3 biggest debts. Sell the crypto, take the hit and pay off the £5000 since that is the only one it will clear in full if as you say it has dropped again. Then once the remaining 2 default the interest will stop, and at that point you start the DMP. Yes you will get chased to pay the debts, but if they call or email just tell them you want contact in writing only and block their number. Keep the letters in a folder, then when you contact the DMP company you can give them all the details. When you deduct the interest element, and work out what you will be paying them it will not be a huge amount less than what the minimum payment would be, so you should be clear in a not much longer timescale as the original terms.
Are either of the 2 remaining with the bank that hold your current account? If so it is worth opening a basic as in no overdraft facilities account with a totally unrelated bank and moving your salary and all payments to there, just in case they decide to do an offset. 

You are well aware that the gambling is a big problem, so please close and self ban yourself from all websites or apps that you may use, and get professional help with it. You also seriously need to talk to your doctor NOW as it is obvious that you are stressed and depressed. You can do this, once you have the plan and can see a way forwards things will start to get easier.

lixhul

Thank you for the detailed reply, what is DMP sorry?

Thing is I only took on these loans like 2 weeks ago, just seems so strange to get help on them. I already had £9000 in debt in gambling, I then borrowed another £13,000 and that has gone to £6500 now. The PayPal and Amazon ones are new, just business investment that hasn't work. I put in around £20,000 over the last 3 years on the business and never saw a return.

I like the idea of defaulting on these loans but is there anything in there power to go after my assets, or is it best just to pay them slowly if I can?

satchmo1

Hi Lixhul, having read through the back story and your SOA, I'd suggest a couple of things in addition to a DMP (debt management plan). 

Find an evening job. It'll bring a bit of extra income. It'll mean you're not heating/lighting your home, so cut down on gas/electric costs. If it's in a food venue you might even get fed, so cut down on food costs. It'll also mean you have far less time to give in to the temptation of gambling.

Let out your spare bedroom. That brings extra income. However, it probably means extra heating/lighting/water costs. For years my brother worked away during the week, around the country. He'd rent a spare room Monday-Thursday. That'd be ideal for you, as they're not hanging around in your home at the weekend.

Talk to your line manager about a raise, touching lightly on the fact that you are struggling with rising cost of living (they don't need to know why). Suggest that you may have to start job-hunting if no raise is imminent. Maybe begin by putting out feelers within your industry so you've got a feel for whether a higher-salary move is realistic. For context, my son negotiated a permanent WFH contract with a hefty raise by his employer after he was offered two WFH roles within a month of contacting specialist agencies.

EssexHebridean

Some facts.

Gambling is an addiction - and like any other addiction if you want to stop it affecting your life you have to step right away from it. In your case, that means starting to see ANYTHING without a black and white guaranteed return as a gamble. So if it has an interest rate, written down, stated and guaranteed, it's fine. If not, then step away, it's not for you. That will always be the case by the way - don't kid yourself now that in the future things will be different. 

You're not "unlucky" as such - you've already acknowledged the advantages you've either had or have created for yourself through hard work, but it does sound as though you're perhaps a little obsessive about things. Not always a bad thing - sometimes a degree of obsession can make us focus on a project, attain a promotion, or achieve a financial goal - but if taken too far it can leave you isolated and without a support network - it sounds as though that might be where you're at. A little obsessiveness, used well, is  valuable tool - too much and it will destroy you though. 

Consolidation is NOT a way out of debt,, it's a way into MORE debt in the future, unless used in a very specific set of circumstances that, currently, you don't meet. 

Secured debts are what you have now - along with your mortgage which is of course a secured debt, but a "good" one. What you will have in a few years time if you don't sort your situation out now is a LOT of secured debt, much of which you'll no longer be able to pay. That is when you will lose your home. Deal with the situation now and you can avoid that fate - let it run on and I'm afraid I, if I were a gambler, would stake a sum on you finding yourself homeless inside a relatively few years. I'm not saying that purely to scare you, although I think probably you might benefit from a bit of scaring. I'm saying it because it is a likely outcome, and I'd like to think that if you realise that, it might actually switch your light-bulb fully to "on". 

I agree with Sourcrates - you're still talking like a gambler at the moment. You need to get proper outside help for that - as until you are getting support with it I don't think it's going to go away. Others have already advised you to get any money you have left in crypto out IMMEDIATELY - it sounds like perhaps that remaining amount - which could, had you reacted quickly - have cleared a good chunk of your debt, now may have been further decimated.  I'm not even going to start going through your SOA at the moment as until you are truly ready to tackle the situation there's little point. 

The only person who can sort out the situation you are in is you - but that won't happen until you're actually ready to acknowledge the first two items I've put in bold above. I wish you luck, and rest assured that the forum will always be here to offer help, support and advice - but it may not always be what you want to hear. 

enthusiasticsaver

lixhul said:

I think my option.is to just hope crypto plays balls. The majority of my debt was to loan that, it just crashed the moment I invested. That £9300 is now £6900ish, it crashed again. My original investment was £13,300 last month.

The loans are unsecured does that matter for anything?

My mortgage rent ends in 3 years, preferably I'd like a decent score still because the rates are going to shoot up the way things are going. I'm gonna start a diary which is basically how crypto is doing.

If I go to this step change and ask for it all to be consolidated would I be hit with higher interest and reduced score?

Hoping the crypto goes up is a gamble and not one I would go along with.  I think you need to be honest with yourself that you gambled and lost again.  The debts are unsecured so they are unlikely to take you to court but if you want the interest to stop then you need to default and look at a Debt Management Plan.  That will affect your credit record though.  You have a shortfall though each month of about £500 so presumably you are going to take that out of the £3000 savings in the hope that crypto rises by the time it runs out?  Do you have a plan B?  

You cannot consolidate via step change.  They are not the lenders but just allocate an affordable payment out to your creditors.  So interest stops (hopefully), you pay £450 or whatever you can afford monthly and they allocate it out to your lenders. Your credit record will be affected by the defaults though and no doubt they would insist that you use your savings and the crypto to pay off some of the debt anyway.  I would opt to remain in control and protect your credit rating as you have a mortgage, use the £10k in cash and crypto and pay off Admiral, Nationwide and Paypal and you should be near enough to being able to just meet the rate setter payments and Nationwide.  

EssexHebridean

lixhul said:

I think my option.is to just hope crypto plays balls. The majority of my debt was to loan that, it just crashed the moment I invested. That £9300 is now £6900ish, it crashed again. My original investment was £13,300 last month.

In the last month you have lost in excess of four months income gambling. That's a lot of money. For some context, that would pay your mortgage for 18 months, feed you for over 4 years, cover your child maintenance payments for 2 and a half years, or all your household utilities for a similar amount of time. It's 2/3rds of the value of your car. It's more money than the majority of newcomers on this board will have in savings for a long time to come.  It will be the 15th June this year before you have worked sufficient time to have earned back that amount. 

PLEASE get the help you need. And please cut your losses and get that money that's still in crypto out and safe fast. 

Andyjflet

Firstly stop trying to chase "easy money" there is no such thing, as you have found out. In my opinion follow the Dave Ramsey baby steps, leave £1000 in your emergency fund and through the rest at your debts, smallest to largest, then snowball that payment into the next one. 

Andyjflet

Meant to say in this order..

Amazon Business
Nationwide 2
Paypal
Nationwide

leaving you with Ratesetter and Admiral to go at 

RogerBareford

lixhul said:

I have never had the luck or the opportunity in life, I have always done the right thing, but it never, ever works out. For some it does, for the rest it doesn't, and I've learned I'm nothing special and never will be.

Without trying to sound mean you need to realise you have NOT done the right thing and you have made massive mistakes by borrowing money to gamble and borrowing money to invest in crypto. You should never borrow money to do any kind of gambling and it usually a bad idea to borrow money to invest (especially in crypto as it is so fluid).

So it's a bit concerning that you think you have always done the right thing.

But that doesn't mean you need to continue that way. You need to reflect and realise all the mistakes you have made and then move on and make sure you don't make them again because people get out of far worse situations than yours and often do quite well for themselves if they continue in "debt repayment mode" long after they have paid everything off.

kimwp

lixhul said:

 I went to university, have a first-class degree, have a master's, skipped parties, lost friends for rather focusing on myself etc. I have basically no friends. I should be able to see the difference between saving up for so long and sacrificing socializing with improving myself, but now I don't.

At 

I think this (alongside getting rid of the debt and seeing a counsellor for your gambling) is what you need to focus on - fill your life with meaningful relationships and you will be so much happier for it.