It's getting tough out there. Feeling the pinch?

mumf

-taff said:

@TheAbleI really don't know if you're being deliberately obtuse. Some people cannot afford food. It's that simple. There's no stockpiling going on because they can't afford food now, this week, today, this minute.

You've fallen into the trap of thinking pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and budgeting better, managing money are all you need to hoist yourself out of poverty. This is not the case. If your minimum wage job barely covers the rent or, if you were lucky at some point in the past, a mortgage, and there's nothing to spare for bills and food, or it's bills or food.

This is a reality in Britain today and it's not just happening to a few people here or there, it's thousands and thousands.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2022/feb/10/bruises-back-pain-and-brilliant-volunteers-how-one-woman-fed-100000-londoners

This was one I read recently and donated to. I watched publicity cause the gofundme page for this particular food bank soar from 89k to what it is now. They took advantage of the publicity in the best way they could but there are thousands of food banks all over doing the same thing with no publicity and no funding.

That link was an excellent and moving read.Thank you. What has this country become?

Floss

TheAble said:

Iceland then? Free next day delivery if you spend £40.

But I suppose no Iceland, freezer or £40.

Come on folks, I'm trying here  My point is that there's almost invariably something you can do. It can't necessarily be done overnight but you can make steps towards it.

But our point is that there isn't anything that can be done when a household are on an extremely tight budget. There is no ability to save just a few pounds to enable a big shop somewhere cheap because there is no flex and no spare cash.

I appreciate your efforts in trying to help, but unless the actual reality of the situation is fully understood, those efforts aren't really applicable. 

ladyholly

I have a friend who has received her information of utility, CT and water bills and now says she will have £20.00 a week for food for 4. She has a working partner and she is disabled and unable to work.  With the best will in the world how is she to save even 20p a week. When you have children what happens when they lose a school sweat shirt, need a new pair  of shoes, grow out of their clothes. Even if you go to charity shops a pair of shoes is a couple of pounds, not all schools have 2nd hand clothes available.  It is not just food. The other argument goes if you cant afford children you shouldnt have them but who foresaw these huge rises in fuels which creates price rises in everything

My Mum lived in Salford in the 1930s and she remembered children with no shoes, my Grandfather and many others walked miles when they heard of a job because they had none (I dont mean 5miles GF walked to Burnley and back and for those who dont know that is approx 30miles according to Google).

Yes most people are not facing 1930 conditions but surely in the last 90 years we have progressed so that our poorest elderly folk and the poorest families should not have to choose between food and being warm. Yes there is sometimes way for people to help themselves but being in poverty grinds poeple down with constant worrying and juggling so that it is sometimes hard to find a way out.

In addition dont get me started on the way rents have shot up. Where I live (not in the SE) a 2 bed flat is going on for almost £1000 pcm.

mumtoomany

The logistics of living in poverty are summed up by Jack Monroe in this post on her blog from July 2012. https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2012/07/ I defy anyone to read it without a rear in their eye. Fortunately this lady and her son are now in a much better position, but how many other Jacks are there in Britain today, and how many more will there by in the next few months? Take care all, mumtoomany.xx

brila

It is awful, and hard for most and desperate for far too many. But there is always something (no matter how small) you can do to help your situation (not necessarily resolve it). The problem is that when you are in the thick of it and stressed out and maybe even a bit depressed, it is hard to have the capacity in your head to find these little things or to put them into operation. That’s one of the things I like about this forum, it is full of small things that others have done or are pondering doing. And together we can help each other at least sink slightly slower into the mire (if not eventually clamber out). 

The thing that made the biggest difference to us though, was finding a real life gang. Sharing big packs of food when cheaper than smaller packs without the larger outlay. Sharing delivery charge and minimum order from supermarkets with a good deal. Passing childrens clothes, shoes uniform around. Meeting up in the park and each other’s houses when 50p playgroup was too expensive. Babysitting for dental appointments, parents evenings, free evenings with husbands. Taking it in turns to have the kids after school to save Childcare fees.

A family is not enough right now, we need to be in a tribe. 

Times are tough, but there is a mental benefit to trying to something no matter how small and insignificant. 

QueenJess

mumtoomany said:

The logistics of living in poverty are summed up by Jack Monroe in this post on her blog from July 2012. https://cookingonabootstrap.com/2012/07/ I defy anyone to read it without a rear in their eye. Fortunately this lady and her son are now in a much better position, but how many other Jacks are there in Britain today, and how many more will there by in the next few months? Take care all, mumtoomany.xx

I have read this before and it’s awful. I am a little concerned with all the increases myself, but I know I can afford it and can just cut some non necessities if I need to.

It probably sounds pathetic and possibly condescending, but I find reading all the cost of living stuff very stressful as I feel awful for all the people going through it and there is just nothing I can do. Yes, I donate to charity and pop things in the food bank boxes at the supermarket, but it feels like giving someone 1p who is millions in debt - it just makes no difference. But other than this and voting, I just don’t know what I can do to change anything. The fact that we needed food banks at all before the whole cost of living crisis shows there is something very wrong and the inequality index has been rising for a long time before Covid.

newlywed

I’m not in that bad a situation but with NI hikes as well, rent increase, gas, elec, council tax increase we will be nearly £200 a month worse off and we never had much “spare” before. Having been made redundant several years back, along with OH (and having two teen step kids at the time) I do really feel for those on the low incomes. It’s the fact that all of it is arriving in exactly the same month that makes it so difficult.

I do agree with the poster who said there is a mental benefit in trying to do something, even if it doesn’t seem like it will have much effect.

so I have taken advantage of my first ever bank switching deal and hoping it goes ok, quit the luxury of an organic local veg box (it’s not that cheap as I sat and worked out what the same organic veg would cost from a supermarket), have stocked up on some half price pasta - my favourite and not cheap brand.  I have also been researching ways to cut food waste and rediscovered this site with lots of tips.

https://thriftylesley.com/cauliflower-leaves/

[Deleted User]

I have read that article before and can’t bring myself to read it again. Such a raw, emotional piece. 

I have said it before but for the benefit of those who might have missed it, my annual budget for EVERYTHING, excluding mortgage and council tax, is £3,800. I worked until recently when ill health meant I can no longer work. In my mid 30s with two primary age kids, the key to running a house and a family on this amount of money is COMPROMISE. We are really canny at this, as are many people we know. And the point is, when things start to rise  at the rate they are doing, you have already compromised so much you can’t do much else to take this further to meet the rises.

I have just the £7.45 in my purse until Monday. That money has come from selling eggs. I was meant to get a lift to

Aldi today  with a friend (no car, no public transport here), but she has an urgent work meeting. So what was on my short list for Aldi will have to wait until Monday (& yes, I costed the list as I wrote it and it comes to £7.30). It’s a real make do and mend weekend here for food as a result. Online shop isn’t an option as I have my £7.45 cash and no more. 

We have no sweet things in so I’ve baked a cake this morning, but I’ll cook dinner on the wood burner later so I don’t switch the big oven on again. Compromise. 

None of this is a complaint, just a statement of fact at how our lives are. Most days are brilliant and we love our life, some days it’s a bit tougher. I think with rising fuel prices I wont be the only one in our village soon who has ditched the car. 

I agree that community really helps at a time like this. I have no bread due to said shopping trip being cancelled, but a friend had made me a loaf in her BM in exchange for 6 eggs. What a lovely lift for both of us.

Take care all, and be kind. You never know who might be struggling behind a facade of smiles xx

euronorris

@ladyholly in our town there is something called the Hope Uniform Exchange where people can get items of Uniform for their kids, for all the schools in the town for either free, a swap, or a small donation. They are all second hand bits, but they are checked for quality and cleanliness etc. I always pass my daughters outgrown bits there as I don't currently have any other friends with girls younger than her to pass them on to. Maybe there is something similar in your friend's town that she can turn to for Uniform as and when needed?

EssexHebridean

brila said:

It is awful, and hard for most and desperate for far too many. But there is always something (no matter how small) you can do to help your situation (not necessarily resolve it). The problem is that when you are in the thick of it and stressed out and maybe even a bit depressed, it is hard to have the capacity in your head to find these little things or to put them into operation. That’s one of the things I like about this forum, it is full of small things that others have done or are pondering doing. And together we can help each other at least sink slightly slower into the mire (if not eventually clamber out). 

The thing that made the biggest difference to us though, was finding a real life gang. Sharing big packs of food when cheaper than smaller packs without the larger outlay. Sharing delivery charge and minimum order from supermarkets with a good deal. Passing childrens clothes, shoes uniform around. Meeting up in the park and each other’s houses when 50p playgroup was too expensive. Babysitting for dental appointments, parents evenings, free evenings with husbands. Taking it in turns to have the kids after school to save Childcare fees.

A family is not enough right now, we need to be in a tribe. 

Times are tough, but there is a mental benefit to trying to something no matter how small and insignificant. 

I'm in the "wish I could thank this more than once" camp for the bit I've highlighted in bold. Brila - hats off to you for absolutely nailing it! 

And yes - there definitely is - in theory at least - a mental benefit for trying something, but there are also some people who've tried, and tried, and tried, and never got any significant return from all that trying, and they're now tired, and all out of "try". 

Honestly - I don't think @TheAble IS being obtuse - I just think that they are quite literally unable to comprehend a scenario where a seemingly "simple" fix won't at least help things. It's a good thing that there ARE people in that position too - because frankly knowing how grim stuff gets when things are really, really tight and there's NOT a solution is in itself depressing - although nowhere near as depressing as being in that scenario yourself! While it's possible to be compassionate towards someone in a tight spot financially, unless you've been in that nature of tight spot yourself, I'm not sure that it's actually possible to truly understand the nature of it. It's a bit like someone who'd never parachuted maybe - they might think it sounds incredible, and by listening to others they can get an idea of the sensations, the exhilaration etc - but the common factor with everyone I know who's actually done it is that they all say the same thing - it's so much "more" than they expected. 

QueenJess - your donations to the foodbank - let's say you drop in a bottle of UHT, a pack of value tea bags, a pack of own brand cereal, a pack of cream crackers and a jar of jam*. That's a family of 4 having a decent breakfast before heading to work and school - right there, just for the cost to them of boiling the kettle. It costs you less than £3, and will also give them food for the following few days breakfasts as well, with just the additional of more milk. Try to think about what you are achieving, rather than feeling like you're not doing much - it feels like the wrong phrase to use but literally "every little helps".  

*remember that foodbanks in different areas have shortages of different things, so always best to check in advance to see what yours might be needing.