Money Moral Dilemma: Should I let my son buy yet another toy with his birthday money?

primrose_penguin

The elderly relative that gave your son the £20 probably didn't have a clue what to get your son as they wouldn't know what he already has, that is why they said buy him a toy. I would speak to your son and explain what a lucky boy he was to get all those toys for his birthday (no doubt he had some for Christmas too) and wouldn't it be a good idea if he put the £20 in his savings account for when he wants something later on, and take him with you so he can pay it in himself. Your son could then write a thank you letter to your relative and you could enclose a note yourself letting them know how grateful you are for their kindness, explaining that your son received a lot of toys for his birthday so he has put it in his savings account to go towards something he wants later on, you could even send them a little note when he eventually uses the money to let them know what he bought. I am sure your relative will be delighted that their gift was appreciated and not wasted on an unnecessary toy. I know I would.

berjou

He's 6 years old, you might think that he doesn't "need" another toy, (and you might be right, but that's the opinion from an adult point of view).

But - he's not yet an adult so,

Give him a break - let him make his own decision, If i was the "elderly relative" i would rather think that i had made him happy with my £20 that he had enjoyed, for however a short time, rather than trying to educate a child way beyond his years.

We all make mistakes, that's how we learn, let him enjoy his childhood, he will grow up soon enough.

JayD

I think, at 6 years old, it shouldn't be too hard to offer your son more tempting things he could do with the £20 gift e.g. a day out somewhere he'd like, an item of clothing he might have set his heart on (probably linked to a superhero or game) etc., something special fro his bedroom, like a themed light,  or he maybe willing to save it towards a much more expensive toy, like a skateboard, or even buy a toy for a child less fortunate.

I agree that is would be sad to spend the money on a superfluous toy that he may soon lose interest in but even a trip to a large toy store could be a pleasant gift in itself - and he may even decide to buy something there that would surprise you.

egarobar

He's six years old. He is not old enough to reason. That is a training which you have to introduce him to, gradually, starting from about 7. He is dependent on your wisdom until then. Make your mind up yourself, and be decisive in future - your child will appreciate being given discipline. Life is not a free-for-all. Good luck.

kags

tain said:

 If the grandparent cared enough about it, they would have invested more time in knowing what toy they got or even asking what toy they wanted and buying it for them. 

In normal times this may well be true … but particularly in the current environment the grandparent may not have been able to keep in close contact: being vulnerable  I for one haven’t seen my now 5 and 7 year old niece and nephew in person for over two years, and whilst I have some idea what they’ve been up to in the interim, they have no doubt changed and developed massively since Christmas 2019.  If I asked their parents I’d probably be told they don’t need anything extra (which technically may be true) but so they don’t forget about me until I can see them, I might have done something like this … it’s the role of daft aunts and grandparents yo fox so, isn’t it.
If they wanted to save the money for something later, that’s fine … but I would like them to have been involved in the discussion.

Lifes_Grand_Plan

I have exactly this dilemma too. Youngest daughters birthday is 21st Jan so she has toys from Christmas and Birthday plus a playroom full too.

Any money gets put straight into their savings. They have so many toys they don't even know half of what they have so why would I buy more.

If it really bothers you you could talk to child and / or money giver and agree saving it with them, I'm sure with explanation they wouldn't mind. Child will certainly be grateful in future if they have a little nest egg saved for a car / house / university / traveling etc

sheramber

If I give my grandson money to buy a toy I ask him what he bought with it.

At Christmas I gave him some money as part of his present but I told him it was not for sweets ( otherwise it would have spent on loads of sweets and eaten one after another)

He had great pleasure going shopping and choosing a build a bear toy.

If I want him to save it I put it in his savings account myself and tell his parents I have done so. if it a small amount I ask him to put it in his piggy bank so he can spend it at a later date.

My children were given pocket money from around 4 years old and allowed to spend it as they wished. They could choose to spend or save it for a  bigger item at a later date when they had saved enough. They soon learned that once it was spent it was spent. There was no more until next week.

Both are now adults who very good at budgeting their money.