Money Moral Dilemma: Should I let my son buy yet another toy with his birthday money?

MSE_Kelvin
MSE_Kelvin Posts: 387 MSE Staff
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This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

 It was my son's sixth birthday last week, and he got loads of new toys from family and friends. He also got £20 in a card from an elderly relative, who said it should be used to buy a toy. Should I let him choose yet another unneeded toy, as the relative asked, or put it into his savings account instead?

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Comments

  • MalMonroe
    MalMonroe Posts: 5,783 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Your son was given money specifically for him to buy a toy. I don't see the dilemma.

    However, I do see a dilemma in you not talking to your son about financial matters. This forum is dedicated to those of us who have been in financial trouble, wish to stay out of financial trouble or generally wish to know much more about finances and how to get out of, and stay out of, debt . Too many adults have grown up not realising or knowing about financial matters and/or associated troubles. This is an ideal opportunity for you to have a short chat (kids get bored with long speeches) with your son about money matters.

    Why not ask him if he thinks he has enough toys? If so, ask him if he'd like to add the £20 to his savings. He's old enough to understand what you're talking about. As he has enough toys, you could also ask if he'd like to perhaps split the money - £10 to his savings and £10 to a charity. 
    Please note - taken from the Forum Rules and amended for my own personal use (with thanks) : It is up to you to investigate, check, double-check and check yet again before you make any decisions or take any action based on any information you glean from any of my posts. Although I do carry out careful research before posting and never intend to mislead or supply out-of-date or incorrect information, please do not rely 100% on what you are reading. Verify everything in order to protect yourself as you are responsible for any action you consequently take.
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,689 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    He was given money to buy a toy - but maybe he would like to not buy a toy just now, when he has so many new ones, but in the future.
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • JGB1955
    JGB1955 Posts: 3,798 Forumite
    Sixth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Your son is too young to understand the meaning of money.  He doesn't need a toy.  He might WANT a toy, but that's a different  matter.  Just 'bank' it for a future day out - to buy an ice cream or entry ticket to somewhere.
    #2 Saving for Christmas 2024 - £1 a day challenge. £325 of £366
  • HampshireH
    HampshireH Posts: 4,838 Forumite
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    Bank it and put it towards a toy later in the yea when the novelty of this new toys has worn off and he sees something he reeeeeaaaalllly wants (as kids say)
  • m1at1
    m1at1 Posts: 7 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    I have 4 young children including a six year old and they’re all very different. 

    You know your child best. 

    Do not allow other people dictate how you parent them “buy a toy with this money”. 

    We’ve always found that too many toys over stimulates them and makes them unhappy.

     Trust your instincts. best of luck. 
  • Marcon
    Marcon Posts: 13,780 Forumite
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    If he isn't likely to have a direct contact with the elderly relative by phone or in person (in which case they are going to want to hear about the toy he chose), stick it in his savings account and make sure you thank the elderly relative, possibly mentioning that he'll be buying [vague reference to something he was given by someone else].
    Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!  
  • Buy the poor little ‘un a toy! 
  • yksi
    yksi Posts: 1,025 Forumite
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    Put it in the bank and let him buy a toy halfway through the year when he's bored of all the new ones.
  • pitry
    pitry Posts: 37 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    I have a 4.5 years old. 
    He gets given cash or cards.
    If it's a card, I swap it for cash so he can put it in his piggy bank and ever so often, count the money (he's not quite there yet in understanding value), or on days like today, to buy what he wants within reason.

    He wanted some Pokémon cards, it's a new thing, he saw some friends play with them yesterday and he wanted some too.
    Went through every shop on the high street to get some but no shop had any, so we ended up at our favourite charity shop and he ended up spending three pounds on two board games, another thing he loves.

    He was pleased, he chose them and paid for them too.
    Went home and played for hours.

    He has about 20 board games of the same brand and uses them all of the time, most are second hand too.

    How you teach your child the value of money is up to you.
    I personally wouldn't encourage an immediate purchase, but be very open to give them the responsibility to decide when you both go to the shops.

    All the best and what a lucky child to have such a caring parent.
  • iyhr
    iyhr Posts: 20 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10 Posts Combo Breaker
    How wonderful that your 6 year old received so many gifts for his Birthday but why on earth would you want to cheat the elderly relative out of the joy of giving him a gift too? Your message seems to disregard them altogether. If they had posted a present, would you take it back to the shop and get the money back? When he sends a thank you note, will it say thank you for your generous gift but Mummy/Daddy said I had too many toys and manipulated me into putting it in savings. Why not encourage an appreciation of prosperity instead and when/if he grows tired of some toys, he can pass them and that prosperity on to children less fortunate.
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