Going broke thinking i'm rich!!!

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Hi All,

Some of you may have come across me in my previous diary, I hope you will follow along here too as I have decided January is a good time to start afresh!  o:)

Talk about lightbulb moment, despite all good intentions with Christmas and last year, I am sat here trying to juggle money to cover for a DD in two days with CCs pretty much back maxed out!....For those of you that don't know me, I work full-time, live with my partner and have 2 DS's and a DSD.  I can be very money savvy when I put my mind to it and use cashback sites for all my online spends, have plenty of SS showing me what should be going where alongside YNAB however I just don't seem to stick to anything for more than a few months before some form of blowout  :/

Being brutally honest I have been living way beyond my means, I have had problems in the past with payday loans (which I wouldn't dream of now) however they were all paid off and sorted but I think this is where my attitude to money distorted massively.  An opportunity has come up at work and has meant over the last few months I have been attending a lot more events and meetings, I have gained over 4 stone in the last year or so which has battered my confidence so I think I have spent on cosmetic things like clothes, makeup etc (much more expensive than I would usually buy) in an effort to try make myself feel more presentable.  Alongside this, I have been online gambling occasionally (now deleted my accounts)... wasting money on day to day things like popping to the shop, coffee's, treating the kids, agreeing to things like meals and booking trips without a second thought how I am paying and looking at the amount we have spent on takeaways has devastated my waistline and bank balance.........with very little to show for it!  :s  :s

The upside...I'm here now and sick of wasting money so massive changes are underway :# , we have a few things booked and paid for already this year so whilst I will be tightening the belt there will be things to look forward to, without much additional spend.   am in a very fortunate position that I should be getting a bonus (definitely before March) and fingers crossed a promotion this year with a pay increase.  Myself and OH do try to keep our finances semi-separate, we are paid twice in the month between us so don't have long to go before payday again and these are the 15th and 25th.  We completely split household things we share like the rent, utilites etc however we clear CC etc ourselves and have our own money each month.  We have tried lots of variations of this and different budgeting methods, with very little success so I am always interested in how other couples do things if anyone wants to share  :)

So....The numbers, currently £13,359.72 ...I know that if I put my mind to it this year it will be achievable to clear, but it sickens me that I  have next to nothing to show for it, no mortgage, this doesn't include the car (that is my partners, mine is a works car) and because its mainly credit cards (everything possible is at 0% and those not I am snowballing first) and debt (think AO etc) our monthly outgoings terrify me..we currently have £0 in savings and I want to be in position to be buying as soon as possible, once my bank statements are cleared of all the crap I have been spending on and my utilisation is dramatically reduced.

Hope you can all join me and keep me in check and I am always interested in how others are getting on and what works for them !! Thanks Pennies xx <3
Pennies starts again...........2022 - £13,579.22  



«134567

Comments

  • shell16
    shell16 Posts: 1,354 Forumite
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    Morning, and its great you are back on here keeping yourself accountable.  

    I started my journey back in August, its been hard especially with Christmas too.  Most of my savings got chucked to my Christmas Spending so Im back to zero from 2022 :( .  One thing I have not done is to add more debt to my credit cards.  So my savings are Nil from December 2021.  I got paid 18th December so Have started to add to my emergency fund, this is a priority as well as keeping upto date on my credit card min payments.  I also chuck a little extra when I can from account round downs - PAD payments.  These can surprisingly add up, could you do this, even a pound can cut your interest, every little bit helps?

    1) Complete a SOA, get it all out in front of you, your portion of the bills. Can you reduce your bills, mobile, internet etc?
    2) Get an emergency fund set up, even if its £500 for now, do not add more to your debt.  
    3) Budget to Zero, try and give every penny of your pay a job.  Be truthful to yourself.  Go back over 3 months of spending and set your budget.  Its trial and error so be prepared to revisit this often and adjust. 
    4) Try out some challenges on here, NSD, Grocery challenge, PAD - Payment a day challenge etc

    Something I have been doing quite a bit in December is watching people on You Choob doing their own budgets, what they include.  Ive personally bought myself a budget book from Amazoon but you can easily make your own from a cheap A4 Pad or Spreadsheets? Track your spending every day. 

    Ive also found some Apps on my phone which are free you could try and help me:

    1) Debt Payoff Planner - This follows the snowball or avalanche method
    2) Easy Bills reminder - Input when your bills are due and how much so you can keep track
    3) Gift List - Its for Christmas this one, but you can add people to the list, how much you would like to spend and also a handy reminder icon for when you buy said gift and also another when you have wrapped it up!  It then totals up your spending (Wished) so you can tweak if necessary.

    Other bits that could help you to add some extra cash to debt payoff...
    1) Surveys, have you tried these?  
    2) Could you have a clear out and sell on FB Market place?

    Good luck on your journey, I will be cheering you on.

                                                                                             

     Debt Free - 04/03/23.  Total LBM August 2021 £15410.70

  • WinterWarrior
    WinterWarrior Posts: 5,764 Forumite
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    Hi pennies, good luck with your new diary. My and my OH also keep finances separate and do a fairly equal share of bills. The thought of completely shared finances makes me go cold. At the moment I can happily shrug about how he spends his money and he has no room to grumble about how I spend or save mine 😁 Much better for harmony and peace of mind I think! 
    Not all who wander are lost - J.R.R.Tolkien
    🌊 A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor 🌊
    2024 challenges - (1) £8k savings challenge = £1000 so far (2) 1 stone weight reduction = 2lb so far
    My WW and friends diary is here 😁 … 
    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6259606/must-try-harder/p1

  • RelievedSheff
    RelievedSheff Posts: 11,452 Forumite
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    We have always paid both of our wages into the same account. It had never really caused any problems for us. It all goes in the same pot and everything gets paid out of that same pot.
  • joedenise
    joedenise Posts: 16,616 Forumite
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    We have always paid both of our wages into the same account. It had never really caused any problems for us. It all goes in the same pot and everything gets paid out of that same pot.
    Same for us. 
  • the_end_of_the_rainbow
    Options
    We have always paid both of our wages into the same account. It had never really caused any problems for us. It all goes in the same pot and everything gets paid out of that same pot.
    Same for us too.
  • savingholmes
    savingholmes Posts: 27,594 Forumite
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    Found you again. I had several LBMs before the light went beyond flickering to staying on. I found reading diaries and watching DR on Utube very motivating - and helped me increase my speed of debt clearance. I would suggest looking for quick wins.

    1. What can you ditch without really noticing?
    2. What can you sell?
    3. What's your current monthly takeaway spend? Would you work best going cold turkey and not having any this month - or would it feel more of a choice if you gave yourself a budget of one takeaway per month or max 2 and put a figure to it?
    4. Would batch cooking help?
    5. Do you need to go to the grocery / old style board - and do a food cupboard challenge to use up what you already have without buying more / limiting what you need to buy?
    6. What about personal spends? Can you give yourself a certain amount of guilt free £ to spend - so you feel again you have choices and don't need to rebel - but not so high that it causes £ issues?

    It might sound weird but we found getting a cleaner saved us lots of £. Yes she's not cheap but it reduced that compulsion to go out and eat, get takeaways or buy duplicates of what we already had - as the kitchen was in a decent state to cook in etc, the kitchen table could be eaten at etc.

    Try and work out what the underlying cause is that makes you want to a) eat crap and b) spend what you don't have... I'm busy working on mine - and am significantly over-weight too so feel your pain on that - so no judgment.

    If you keep having blowouts - it sounds like you are pendulum swinging - and perhaps need to find more middle ground rather than going extreme cold turkey followed by blow outs. For most of us getting debt free is a lengthy journey.
    Achieve FIRE/Mortgage Neutrality by mid 2030
    1) MFW Nov 21 £201,999 with 236 payments to go - now £183,036 Equity 26.8%
    2) Spend on handyman & external building works & new patio door £12.65K
    3) CC £4.6K on 0% spends card but offset by £33.8K savings (part EF, part future home improvement)
    4) Mortgage neutral by June 2030 AVC £10.2K/£127.5K AVC target 8% value at 15/5
    5) FI Age 60 annual income target £13.7/30K 45.7%
  • shell16 said:
    Morning, and its great you are back on here keeping yourself accountable.  

    I started my journey back in August, its been hard especially with Christmas too.  Most of my savings got chucked to my Christmas Spending so Im back to zero from 2022 :( .  One thing I have not done is to add more debt to my credit cards.  So my savings are Nil from December 2021.  I got paid 18th December so Have started to add to my emergency fund, this is a priority as well as keeping upto date on my credit card min payments.  I also chuck a little extra when I can from account round downs - PAD payments.  These can surprisingly add up, could you do this, even a pound can cut your interest, every little bit helps?

    1) Complete a SOA, get it all out in front of you, your portion of the bills. Can you reduce your bills, mobile, internet etc?
    2) Get an emergency fund set up, even if its £500 for now, do not add more to your debt.  
    3) Budget to Zero, try and give every penny of your pay a job.  Be truthful to yourself.  Go back over 3 months of spending and set your budget.  Its trial and error so be prepared to revisit this often and adjust. 
    4) Try out some challenges on here, NSD, Grocery challenge, PAD - Payment a day challenge etc

    Something I have been doing quite a bit in December is watching people on You Choob doing their own budgets, what they include.  Ive personally bought myself a budget book from Amazoon but you can easily make your own from a cheap A4 Pad or Spreadsheets? Track your spending every day. 

    Ive also found some Apps on my phone which are free you could try and help me:

    1) Debt Payoff Planner - This follows the snowball or avalanche method
    2) Easy Bills reminder - Input when your bills are due and how much so you can keep track
    3) Gift List - Its for Christmas this one, but you can add people to the list, how much you would like to spend and also a handy reminder icon for when you buy said gift and also another when you have wrapped it up!  It then totals up your spending (Wished) so you can tweak if necessary.

    Other bits that could help you to add some extra cash to debt payoff...
    1) Surveys, have you tried these?  
    2) Could you have a clear out and sell on FB Market place?

    Good luck on your journey, I will be cheering you on.

    Thankyou @shell16 lots to look at there :)

    Its end of Month year and quarter at work at the moment so I am bogged down however I am on Prl1f1c and do try to complete at least 2 x surveys a week on there when I am focusing.  Its amazing how quickly they can build up and my plan is to withdraw and pay straight from my CC.  I am not a fan of FB Mrkt just because I am at work alll day then don't like people coming to the house at night, I have been suckered into waiting around at weekends and having no shows before but I might give it a go with some larger items.  I am quite good on fleabay for the kids smaller things etc so I plan on having a little post on there of a few bits and hopefully seeing some extra £££ ...I tend to do too many at one go, then get sick of popping to post office every 2 mins and forget so my plan is a couple of items a week all on the same day so they finish at the same time.

    I am quite good with the S/S in terms of tracking gifts and bills etc but will 100% give the debt payoff app a go! just seeing it come down infront of me will hopefully help.

    EF - Yes I agree!! I have never been someone who had savings, so haven't held much value to them but having something tucked away will be comforting and hopefully stop me turning to the CC's in a crisis.  I had the HMRC saver previously, I will check on payday how many month's left I have and start putting my £50 across. I know i should be due at least £150 when this pays out too!!  :D
    Pennies starts again...........2022 - £13,579.22  



  • @RelievedSheff @joedenise@the_end_of_the_rainbow Thankyou all for dropping in :) It's the only thing we haven't tried to be honest but as we are both quite shocking with money we thought it would save the arguments etc.  However maybe it might both kick us in to touch!
    Pennies starts again...........2022 - £13,579.22  



  • Hi pennies, good luck with your new diary. My and my OH also keep finances separate and do a fairly equal share of bills. The thought of completely shared finances makes me go cold. At the moment I can happily shrug about how he spends his money and he has no room to grumble about how I spend or save mine 😁 Much better for harmony and peace of mind I think! 
    Thanks for following me across @WinterWarrior !! This is how we have always done things, then again whatever we have been doing hasn't been working lol! For now I will keep as is I think, maybe when were on the straight and narrow it will be something to consider  :)
    Pennies starts again...........2022 - £13,579.22  



  • Found you again. I had several LBMs before the light went beyond flickering to staying on. I found reading diaries and watching DR on Utube very motivating - and helped me increase my speed of debt clearance. I would suggest looking for quick wins.

    1. What can you ditch without really noticing?
    2. What can you sell?
    3. What's your current monthly takeaway spend? Would you work best going cold turkey and not having any this month - or would it feel more of a choice if you gave yourself a budget of one takeaway per month or max 2 and put a figure to it?
    4. Would batch cooking help?
    5. Do you need to go to the grocery / old style board - and do a food cupboard challenge to use up what you already have without buying more / limiting what you need to buy?
    6. What about personal spends? Can you give yourself a certain amount of guilt free £ to spend - so you feel again you have choices and don't need to rebel - but not so high that it causes £ issues?

    It might sound weird but we found getting a cleaner saved us lots of £. Yes she's not cheap but it reduced that compulsion to go out and eat, get takeaways or buy duplicates of what we already had - as the kitchen was in a decent state to cook in etc, the kitchen table could be eaten at etc.

    Try and work out what the underlying cause is that makes you want to a) eat crap and b) spend what you don't have... I'm busy working on mine - and am significantly over-weight too so feel your pain on that - so no judgment.

    If you keep having blowouts - it sounds like you are pendulum swinging - and perhaps need to find more middle ground rather than going extreme cold turkey followed by blow outs. For most of us getting debt free is a lengthy journey.
    Hi @savingholmes thanks for following me across and all your suggestions and kind words!! :)

    I am planning a little clear out this weekend, work has been manic already and its day 2 so hopefully it will clear my head! My family call me the anti-horder as I always seem to be at the tip or clearing out but it seems to build up so I must have some things to sell.  I am going to start with some of the boys clothes/shoes/coats etc, with it being cold hopefully some familiies will benefit of some cheap clothes and as they grow so quickly they are all good quality and the extra money will help me too!

    I am quite crafty and have some small wooden logs I bought to paint, I made them last year as xmas gifts for friends and a few people offered to pay me but I declined.  The ones I have ordered are quite small though, so I bought some keyring loops and am planning to maybe make some keyrings.  One of my friends has a small business selling homemade bath bombs/soaps etc so I am going to ask if she would be happy to take some for me FOC and obviously if any sell its a bonus.  If she doesn't seem too keen I may try etsy, but I don't see why she would mind to be honest.

    One of my many spends was actually an undercounter freezer so that I could start batch cooking, with Xmas just over I haven't had chance to as of yet, but I am deffo going to give it ago!  With the takeaways it usually is time and convenience over taste as I have got to the point a few times of being sick to death of them. I think if I make a few currys etc this should hopefully help.  I am not sure what makes me want to spend though, It's like it burns a whole before I even have it so I really need to get used to the idea of having something left over and it staying there. Otherwise I am going to get in some serious issues!
    Pennies starts again...........2022 - £13,579.22  



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