Barely treading water

under_the_hedge

Now I've opened this post, I don't really know where to start!

As it's my first post, I'll tell you why I thought I'd start this diary. For the past couple of years, I've been self-employed. Yes, in the midst of the biggest pandemic our generation has seen, and yes, without any savings whatsoever. When I started the journey, though, I did have an established set of clients, and was confident it would get me through, and that I could continue to grow.

But, I have lost all but 2 of those clients, and no-one is hiring. Although I'm doing everything I can, I feel as though I'm screaming into an abyss. My monthly income for the past 6 months or so has sat at around £300.

Of course, I have debts. In the grand scheme of things, not huge debts, but on what little I'm earning, I'm stuggling to pay any of them. And some things have come up this week that have made me realise that I've been very much hiding from them.

Firstly, when I realised that there was no way that I could afford my minimum monthly CC payment this month, I have called the company and been put on a repayment plan for the next 6 months, so that I'll be paying around £50 instead of £170. And then I've had the embarrasment of telling my family and friends that I simply can't afford to buy Christmas presents this year.

So, where to from here? That's a difficult one, and a question I've been fighting with for months now. Do I carry on trying to grow the business, or jack it in a get a job - at least for a while? Both seem equally scary. Hopefully, if I can come on here regularly and document things, it might at least help me keep track of my thoughts.

For my reference, current situation as follows:

Income - £200-£300 per month

Outgoings - household bills and mortgage, should be paying £450 per month, DH covering most of it.

Debts - CC £4666.56, Next card £360.28, OD £690.00

EssexHebridean

Hello - and welcome to the forum! Well done for deciding to acknowledge what's going on and come up with a plan to tackle it, and I'm sorry you're having such a tough time of it. 

It's good that your OH is able to take some of the weight of the priority bills. Have the card company stated how they plan to mark your credit file? 

Going forwards you do need to ensure that you don't use the cards any more, and also that you don't need to dip further into your OD, that is a priority as otherwise your situation will be even tougher to get out of. 

What is the shape of things for the future with your SE business do you think, and are you able to start looking around for even a part-time role to help fill the cracks in income until things pick up again, perhaps? Ironically a couple of months ago would have been a great time to do this with places looking for seasonal work, but you'll likely find some vacancies opening up in the new year, too. 

under_the_hedge

Thank you for your reply EH. And yes, I'm very lucky that the husband is in a position to help out - but I've always been independant financially, so hate this!

I'm no longer using the cards - I can't anyway while I'm on this payment plan. It does mean that my interest is frozen though, which means that anything I do pay goes straight off the balance.

Back in September, I did take on a temp role, but that ended in October, and nothing suitable has come up since. Keeping my options open there - ideally need something working around school hours so that I can continue to drop off and collect child.

Also considering whether I might have some stuff around the house I can sell. If anyone has experience in FB sales, would love to hear it.

RelievedSheff

We sold loads of stuff earlier in the year on Ebay and ended up making a decent amount of money from it. 

We will be having a look around again in the New Year for anything else we can get rid of.

under_the_hedge

Yesterday went from bad to worse.

First, I visited Aldi, and because I only had £18 in my purse, I had been onto their website to write down my list with costs, so I didn't go over budget. I'd reckoned that everything I needed came to £10 odd.

But when I got there, 2 of the items on my list weren't there. So I had no choice but to get more expensive alternatives (were part of a recipe). So ended up spending £15.

Then, last night, me and the hubby went through the finances as he's got paid. I felt so ashamed that I cannot put anything towards the bills until at least mid-January. So now he's really gonna struggle to pay everything. Of course, I got upset.

And then, the cherry on top - I checked my bank account last night, because I knew I only had about £50 in there, and my CC payment is due today (£47). A payment has gone out for £11, from Google. I knew nothing about it, and aftern investigation, it's a known fraud that's happening at the moment! So now, I have to borrow some cash from my mum (she doesn't deal in transfers, so cash only), take it to the bank to pay in to cover my CC, and speak to them about this unuathorised payment in the hope I can claim it back (already informed Google).

Happy bloody Christmas.

RelievedSheff

Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday. Today can only get better

under_the_hedge

Thank you RS. I have been to the bank today and informed them of the payment, it's still pending so will have to wait. In the meantime have borrowed some money in order to pay my cc.

TheAble

Can't help but think it might be time to bite the bullet and accept the business hasn't worked out, no doubt in a large part covid related but there comes a point where you have to cut your losses. Maybe for now try and get some short term income (many places crying out for staff right now - might not be your specialisms but it's work you could still do) and at the same time apply for some permanent roles in your particular field.

under_the_hedge

Yes - and I've thought seriously about quitting the business so many times. But the thought of going back to a permanent employed job makes me want to throw up. It took such a lot of courage to leave in the first place, years of hating my job(s), and finally 2 years of bullying. Yes, I am looking around for temporary options, but I can't see me being permanently employed in the future.

enthusiasticsaver

Sorry you have had such a tough time recently but good at least your DH can help in the short term. Don’t forget you are a team so don’t feel ashamed you cannot contribute at the moment. Presumably you are having to fit a job round childcare so that limits your options. Keep looking for something and carry on trying to develop your business. Hopefully 2022 will be kinder to you. 

under_the_hedge

Thank you ES. Let's hope so!