In years to come I will laugh

Tahlullah.H

Fantastic result for Week 1!

Strether2020

You've made a brilliant start! I totally know what you mean about the bad money habits - I could come up with all sorts of excuses as to why things didn't count in the budget. I think the sense of control is very important when you start on the journey.

It's great that you're cutting down on booze too - the great thing is that this health goal also supports your financial goal, so it's a double win!

It feels like a long journey ahead, I'm sure, but along with lots of people on here I'm cheering you on. 

flyingscotsman67

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone i do appreciate it.

Legs21 you are right consistency is key- I have had many light bulb moments- that is the emotionally sore part- however not my biggest failing, sticking at it has always been my issue.

I am feeling great emotionally,  which is strange given my financial situation However I am not focussed on how long this will take- as I genuinely see it as a new way of living. As I see it we should be looking to live on this current budget or one very similar long after the debt is gone.

My wife and i were walking the dog at the weekend and discussing how we could be debt free in 4-5 years and mortgage free in 8 and she could retire aged 59- that felt like a goal towok to and something better to invest our money on rather than a new this or a new that.

My thirteen year old son asked for a bank account at the weekend to manage his money- (he gets money from Christmas, his gran etc), that felt good to get him on the budgeting track- as he spends money almost as fast as me

I have started to sell some toys and items i have gathered over the years- these will cover some of the Christmas expenses.

My wife has extra hours for December and January and hopefully Feb - so that should see us into March covering all payments.

9 days AF: longest consecutive days this year- given that i spend £10-£12 each time I drink there is £90 to £110 not added to debt.

jusferbrowsing

Hope you're doing ok in the run up to Christmas

Dog_Lady_No_4

Was just thinking about u too earlier as hadn't seen an update on this post

beanielou

How are things @flyingscotsman67

lucielle

Hi just read your diary. We had a lot of debt, see signature. Step change were helpful and we cleared it without going down the dmp route

also try using the snowball calculator to see how paying off the highest interest debt and then snowballing the payments onto the next debt

go through your bank statements and cancel any direct debits for things you don’t have or use

good luck
L

another_casualty

I love the title of your diary . Just stumbled upon it . Subscribed ! 

Change is life ! You should be proud of the fact that you have started such a nice diary ,and you must stick it out now as you are gaining followers who will be cheering you on and hopefully giving you pointers to keep you in the right direction .

The most positive things for me , is that you are a hardened scot who has experienced the tough times but have let the drink get the better of you . Judging by your attitude and age , I think it's definitely the title of your diary. You ( and your good wife) will take control again!
Plus the fact you mentioned the gym . There you are, total dedication. Keep this up and this time next year your diary will be all about tackling the debt and not about tackling the booze . 

I have to comment on your apprehensive approach regarding dmp;
I've been there . The hardest part of that was actually getting prepared for it !
By this I mean actually looking at everyhing you owe ! It is depressing and horrible ..but once I spoke to the nice chap ar payplan they gave me options . My mind was at rest as I changed bank accounts that are not connected to the debts I had and I followed the instructions from the nice chap at payplan . 

The only thing about payplan is they give you a sum to pay each month and review you once a year to see how you are doing and if the payment can be increased or stay the same. It's probabky the same with stepchange etc . 

The downside with being on a dmp is that your credit rating is shot for 6 years, and even after that it may be iffy to get certain things. You can partially or fully settle in the timespan the dmp company give you . 

I'll leave it there, but do suggest as others have said to fill out a statement of affairs in 5he debt free wannabe section , and sourcrates, fatbelly and co should guide you .

Good luck ! 

flyingscotsman67

Hi everyone, Happy New Year!

I feel a tad guilty that people have been posting such lovely responses- they really are- thank you! and I have not been replying. I guess I must get notifications somewhere- I just don't know where.

Well- I did have a lovely Christmas- very different to previous years but beautiful- really beautiful. My son and daughter both came home from university and we all spent quality time together- you know watching movies in front of the fire and being together. I didn't drink from early December to Christmas day ( ill come back to that) so I was able to do all the taxi runs for the kids. Normally dad would immediately be dismissed as not an option as he'd be !!!!!!! My wife and I had bought presents in the run up so there was not a massive outlay on Christmas and we were sensible for us! No iPhone for Christmas this year and guess what- the kids didn't love us any less . All in all we watched the money each day and made conscious decisions what we spent our money on. It was pretty exciting to be present and to have a shared focus and to make choices. 

Re the drinking- yes this will be a real focus of the diary for the first while- and I think that's as it should be for me - as it is central to my lack of responsibility and accountability and a real priority for me in my new lifestyle. Yes - Christmas morning I woke up and said i'll drink today- I then drunk for 4 days and stopped on the 28th December and had my first sober Hogmanay since i was 15- and it was brilliant. Watched tv in front of the fire whilst my oldest her boyfriend and my wife drunk moderately- not something I can do and i was available to pick my son up who went out 9he didn't need me to- but it was great to be able to). I am not dwelling on the 4 days drinking- its been and gone and part of the journey and again confirmed its not serving me. So pre December the highest drink free days i had in any month this year was 11 and December I had 24days and i am now on an 8 day streak and feeling great. Listening to lots of podcasts and going to the gym every 2 nights and getting back into my running.

My emotional well-being has been pretty good. I felt very vulnerable and fragile the early days of the journaling here (guilt, shame, catastrophic thinking) and that got better through December as I started to come to terms with the reality and got off the booze. No surprise my 4 day drinking spell brought an element of unsettledness again. Yesterday I had to find £2k on a credit card to pay for one of my kids university fees for the next period and that sparked a mini spell of catastrophic thinking as I was awake from 4am thinking - we are paying £25k a year to CC debt and 7k (approx.) will go on interest (as i cant get 0% deals) and 7k will go on kids university fees!!!! (money I don't currently have in the budget to pay in addition to the debt). However, when I calm down i realise that whilst not efficient and not the way it should be done- even with that reality and nothing else changing Id still be bringing the CC debt down 11k a year in that context if i stick with the plan- not as good as it could be but heading in the right direction. There are probably better ways to do things but for now this is my reality. On a plus the same child has asked their university about a higher scholarship and had positive noises (go him for being so grown up) - so this could reduce my expenditure by a good 5k a year. We spend a lot supporting the two grown up kids at university- phones, Spotify, car insurance, accommodation, food, travel to and from universities etc and I know we need to be more disciplined on the boundaries around this and something we are working on. The one who can work does and the other is a work in process. 

On the wider moneysaving we had a period of about 2 weeks where everything went wrong- toilet broke, tap in bath needed repairing, leak under floor needed fixing, radiator needed mending. Thankfully I have a friend who does the work and is relatively easier to pay. Everything was fixed using some of emergency fund or weekly money. In days gone bye i.e. 3 months ago the items would have all been replaced. We have been so much better at budgeting- the weekly money we set aside for things is lasting and we almost every week have money left over to add to an emergency fund (currently sitting at around 2.5k). Again, having spare might mean we are allowing ourselves too much for weekly expenses but psychologically it is necessary now to feel we are doing well and making progress. My wife now knows how much we owe in total- yeah!! shared awareness- she was remarkably more together about it- she is much more focussed than me- focusses on what needs to be done, recognises it wont be fixed overnight and roles up the sleeves. Why the hell I managed the money ill never know!! She has also been getting more hours at work- she currently works 17.5 hrs and this is a great help to add to the emergency fund. Whilst those hours are there we have a bit more breathing space- i keep thinking what if they end and she keeps saying- then we will deal with it! I managed to get a few 0% offers on existing CC with balances so i have been able to do a little bit of juggling to bring the interest down- not massive- but every bit helps.

We do still have a desire to avoid DMP for now- some of that is the feeling of failure- but lets be honest we have hardly been winning But as my wife says we need to budget and develop those habits whether we do or we don't, there is no answer overnight so lets get our heads down and get budgeting and keep all options on the table for now. Maybe we will feel that we delayed what was inevitable on the other hand, maybe we can make the necessary progress to manage this ourselves. 

I think this post sounds negative- which I didn't intend because I am feeling good- perhaps I'm just a little fragile from yesterday. But life goes on- my kids go back to Uni on Sunday, so that will be strange- the house will be quiet again. But will cut down on the grocery bill . Ok i am off to the gym to get a run in - thanks everyone for your messages and support- it means a lot- amazes me that people take time to say something encouraging- thank you!

I know we are not doing this by the book- but I think we are doing it as we have to for us just now! Thanks again 

shell16

Happy New year!

You are doing amazingly well. Dont let the set backs derail you. Just roll up your sleeves and push on! Great news your OH knows exactly what the situation is and that can only help going forwards!