Gossip Spread by Colleague ...

Adamc

Hi 

I made a decision at work which has become the subject of rumour. A non-qualified staff member present at the time later relayed their version of the scenario to a senior (non-managerial) staff member in ear shot of another non-qualified staff member and somehow this has done the rounds. They did not discuss any concerns with me at the time in question. 

I suppose like all rumours this has been adapted in transit but I find it quite hurtful. I still stand by my conduct but I am open to discussing it with a manager or senior staff member to help resolve the issues and improve future provision.

What I am incredibly uncomfortable with is hearing (second-hand) a very negative version of events. I have witnessed gossip and rumour spreading at work aimed at other members of staff which at times has been (at least in part) truthful and factual but often also false or misrepresented. It has always seemed in appropriate and I have often isolated and alienated myself by not engaging in it or calling it out. 

I have some trouble with anxiety which I can usually manage well but this situation is causing me problems. I have thought about going off with stress as it has caused some sleepless nights. No one has spoken to me about it yet but it is still early days. 

My plan is speak to management about it as soon as possible to set the record straight and try to discuss some solutions for the work issues.

My work means so much to me and I always do my best in delivering it. The potential for reputational damage by gossip and rumour is huge however. Also the challenging situations I now find myself regularly are making me think about looking elsewhere for employment. Not that the grass is always greener. 


Can anyone suggest any additional courses of action? No specifics on the issue will be given. 

 

 

KittyCat70

In your situation, I would be speaking to my manager ASAP to discuss a) your course of action and your reasoning behind it and b) the gossiping. They are two separate issues and need to be dealt with accordingly (although in my experience you can't stop workplace gossip but management should be addressing it).

It's stressful but honestly, it is the quickest way to resolve the situation. I understand the urge to run away (going off sick) but part of being an adult is facing up to issues and taking accountability. Running away will not resolve the issue or make you feel any better

All the best with it!

pinkshoes

Take a reality check on this situation.

You made a decision at work that you needed to make. Nothing to lose sleep over. It's a job.

If some idiot has over-heard it, changed the story and turned it into a rumour, then that's their idiotic fault, and nothing to do with you. And if people are stupid enough to believe rumours rather than actually asking you, then they are equally as idiotic. 

Stop losing sleep and stressing over a non issue and just get on with your job. 


Being a grown up means dealing with idiots. I recently got unfriended on social media and some nasty messages sent to me by two women who apparently think I'm a horrible person for something I said. Neither of these two women have ever asked me what was said or even particularly spoken to me. And the version they have supposedly heard is nothing like what I actually said. If they are dumb enough to judge me on something I have allegedly said without even bothering to ask me then that's their problem and loss! I don't have time in my life for judgemental idiots. 

Chill out and move on!

robatwork

One of the best lessons I ever learnt was not to worry about a situation that is completely out of my control.

I apply this to being stuck in traffic, about illnesses, and also at work.

By all means discuss with your manager to put forth your story about the decision. Then try to move on and neither listen to nor pay any heed to the gossip. Humans do like to gossip, and one man's gossip is another's boring conversation.

BrassicWoman

least said, soonest mended.

TELLIT01

If you know the name of the person who started the rumour you should make that known to management too.  What you can't know is whether the information as they passed it to others was accurate and then Chinese Whispers distorted it.  You also can't be sure who is actually involved in spreading gossip.  At one place I worked, one of the directors was probably worst of the lot for saying "Don't tell anybody but....." and then saying something which had been told to them in confidence.

Thrugelmir

BrassicWoman said:

least said, soonest mended.

Like the news. They'll be something more interesting to discuss that pops up.