Am I paying to much? Unable to see the children and there is no mortgage on the home

J0by

Hi

My wife and I separated 1 year ago.  She is living in the family home with our 3 children.  There is no mortgage on the house.  She earns a good salary and receives a £1000 from me per month.  When I have looked into what I should provide for it includes, food, clothing, a home/roof over the children head.  As there is no mortgage on the house, is this taken in to consideration.  I can't find anything on this matter.  I am struggling financially, paying money to her towards the children, rent on a property and solicitors fees.  She doesn't allow me to see the children whom she has turned against me.  I am fighting for contact and already spent 20k in solicitors fees.

I'm really struggling and would welcome advice/someones experience in this,
thanks
John

MalMonroe

Hi, you need help and advice with many things and that's normal in separation cases (I've been there and it's awful, although I was the mother with children).

£20k is a lot to have spent in solicitors fees with nothing to show for it, I'd be asking for a refund, tbh.

You could start by contacting Citizens Advice. They are free and give good advice. If they can't help they will point you in the right direction.

Link - https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/

You can also look around for free legal help. https://www.lawsociety.org.uk/en/public/for-public-visitors/using-a-solicitor/getting-free-legal-advice

Your ex is not allowed to stop you from seeing your children and that's something that needs to be sorted on an urgent basis. 

Good luck. 

ZaSa1418

I agree, 20k and nothing to show is awful. Do you have a court order and she simply isn't complying? 

Maintenance and contact are seperate issues however, have you checked the amount is correct as that seems like a huge amount in my opinion. Is this what the CMS have calculated? 

J0by

thanks for replying both.
yes 20k in fees so far includes finances, divorce and child contact.. and nothing finalised yet.
yes 1k a month to ex was worked out by government website. 

My query is because there’s no rent or mortgage for her to pay. I’m left with very little, once I’ve paid my rent and bills.
meantime she gets approx. 3k per month and no rent or mortgage to pay out for!

theoretica

If the £1000 a month is what the calculator says you need to pay then that is what you need to pay.  However, have you reached an agreement on the house?  Could she buy you out with a mortgage?  Sell and split the equity?  You would still be paying the same each month, but have a clean break and hopefully struggle less.