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So just you and the GF with 2yr old in this house?
You say your GF has her own debts to pay and works, but so do you. Maybe time to talk this through with the GF, and pool incomes debts to see the best way forwards.
Appreciate if you want to keep separate, but you both have debts to pay and so both need to pay some of the household bills. (imo, I may be way off the mark).
Ok, so how many hours a week can you dedicate to working, or are you FT childcare when the GF is at work? (which limits shifts options and could collide with your main work, music)
If your GF could pay half towards some household bills, you have c£300 extra month for repayments. (£500 if she pays for half of mortgage).
If that's not an option - are you entitled to any benefits?
Gas and Elec look high @ £140 per month, you need to look at the way you are using energy or change supplier.
Water at £50 per month is high too is this rates or meter and is that 12 payments or 10? (£500 for the year, or £600).
CT, is that over 10 payments or 12, if still on payments per year, get it changed to 12.
Mortgage deal, how much outstanding over how long? Any chance to change deal (assume you over a short period of time for the mortgage as £380 p/m is quite steep if over 25 years). DO NOT THINK OF PUTTING DEBT ON MORTGAGE
After that, time to contact Stepchange or manage a Debt Management plan with your creditors, it may harm your credit rating temporarily, but can get interest frozen etc.
Life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away. Like choking....2 -
Is it the pandemic that's caused your work to dry up? What sort of money were you making in better times?0
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Comments above on SOA.Mattay43 said:Thanks all - here is the SOAHousehold Information[/b]Number of adults in household........... 2Number of children in household......... 1Number of cars owned.................... 2[b] Assume you're not picking up the running costs for your Girlfriend's car as well as your own?Monthly Income Details[/b]Monthly income after tax................ 1500Partners monthly income after tax....... 0 Your girlfriend needs to start at least covering her household costs!Benefits................................ 0 Should there not be some Child Benefit here, at least?Other income............................ 0[b]Total monthly income.................... 1500[/b][b]Monthly Expense Details[/b]Mortgage................................ 382Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0Rent.................................... 0Management charge (leasehold property).. 0Council tax............................. 100Electricity............................. 70Gas..................................... 70Oil..................................... 0Water rates............................. 50Telephone (land line)................... 0Mobile phone............................ 70 Ouch - this is expensive, yes, even for 2 of you - how much longer on your contracts? Plus, she needs to start paying her own bill!TV Licence.............................. 0 No TV at all or never watch anything as live?Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0Internet Services....................... 15Groceries etc. ......................... 200 Ok - if this is 50% of the bill it can be reduced massively - which is good news! Have a browse around the main MSE site - pretty sure Martin's "Brand Challenge" info will still be there. Also the Old Style board on here has some great resources for cutting grocery spendsClothing................................ 50 Cut back to essentials only for the momentPetrol/diesel........................... 70Road tax................................ 26 Are you paying this monthly? If so it's an expensive way of doing so I believe as I think a premium is charged.Car Insurance........................... 30Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 15 Are you definitely putting this aside? Only you're showing no cash assets?Car parking............................. 0Other travel............................ 40Childcare/nursery....................... 0Other child related expenses............ 50Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 18Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0Buildings insurance..................... 10Contents insurance...................... 10Life assurance ......................... 20Other insurance......................... 10Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30 Are you definitely putting this aside? Only you're showing no cash assets?Haircuts................................ 3Entertainment........................... 50Holiday................................. 0Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]Total monthly expenses.................. 1389[/b][b]Assets[/b]Cash.................................... 0House value (Gross)..................... 300000Shares and bonds........................ 0Car(s).................................. 4000Other assets............................ 0[b]Total Assets............................ 304000[/b][b]Secured & HP Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMortgage...................... 32600....(382)......0[b]Total secured & HP debts...... 32600.....-.........- [/b][b]Unsecured Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMarbles Card...................782.......50........0MBNA Card......................8264......222.......22.93Santander......................3600......55........17.4VIRGIN MONEY...................4520......115.......20.84PAYPAL.........................1813......60........21.9NATWEST CARD...................4389......60........18.27AMEX...........................4866......181.......22Barclay Card...................8511......178.......15.82[b]Total unsecured debts..........36745.....921.......- [/b][b]Monthly Budget Summary[/b]Total monthly income.................... 1,500Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,389Available for debt repayments........... 111Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 921[b]Amount short for making debt repayments. -810[/b][b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]Total assets (things you own)........... 304,000Total HP & Secured debt................. -32,600Total Unsecured debt.................... -36,745[b]Net Assets.............................. 234,655[/b][i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]
The main thing as said previously is a desperate need to increase your income - and indeed for your girlfriend to start contributing, I'm afraid - she may have her debts to pay, but so do you - there is little to be gained by her having all her income to throw at her debts, but you ending up defaulting on yours as a result!🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
Balance as at 31/08/25 = £ 95,450.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her4 -
Yes, no gigs and teaching in schools slowed down too. Was making an extra grand or soTheAble said:Is it the pandemic that's caused your work to dry up? What sort of money were you making in better times?So just you and the GF with 2yr old in this house?
You say your GF has her own debts to pay and works, but so do you. Maybe time to talk this through with the GF, and pool incomes debts to see the best way forwards.
Appreciate if you want to keep separate, but you both have debts to pay and so both need to pay some of the household bills. (imo, I may be way off the mark).
Ok, so how many hours a week can you dedicate to working, or are you FT childcare when the GF is at work? (which limits shifts options and could collide with your main work, music)
If your GF could pay half towards some household bills, you have c£300 extra month for repayments. (£500 if she pays for half of mortgage).
If that's not an option - are you entitled to any benefits?
Gas and Elec look high @ £140 per month, you need to look at the way you are using energy or change supplier.
Water at £50 per month is high too is this rates or meter and is that 12 payments or 10? (£500 for the year, or £600).
CT, is that over 10 payments or 12, if still on payments per year, get it changed to 12.
Mortgage deal, how much outstanding over how long? Any chance to change deal (assume you over a short period of time for the mortgage as £380 p/m is quite steep if over 25 years). DO NOT THINK OF PUTTING DEBT ON MORTGAGE
After that, time to contact Stepchange or manage a Debt Management plan with your creditors, it may harm your credit rating temporarily, but can get interest frozen etc.
Mortgage only has another 7 years on it. CT over 10 payments, will look into that changing to 12.
Appreciate the detailed feedback, everyone. Today's post was the first step in dealing with this and some great advice here - I appreciate it6 -
A conversation to be had for sure!EssexHebridean said:
Comments above on SOA.Mattay43 said:Thanks all - here is the SOAHousehold Information[/b]Number of adults in household........... 2Number of children in household......... 1Number of cars owned.................... 2[b] Assume you're not picking up the running costs for your Girlfriend's car as well as your own?Monthly Income Details[/b]Monthly income after tax................ 1500Partners monthly income after tax....... 0 Your girlfriend needs to start at least covering her household costs!Benefits................................ 0 Should there not be some Child Benefit here, at least?Other income............................ 0[b]Total monthly income.................... 1500[/b][b]Monthly Expense Details[/b]Mortgage................................ 382Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0Rent.................................... 0Management charge (leasehold property).. 0Council tax............................. 100Electricity............................. 70Gas..................................... 70Oil..................................... 0Water rates............................. 50Telephone (land line)................... 0Mobile phone............................ 70 Ouch - this is expensive, yes, even for 2 of you - how much longer on your contracts? Plus, she needs to start paying her own bill!TV Licence.............................. 0 No TV at all or never watch anything as live?Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0Internet Services....................... 15Groceries etc. ......................... 200 Ok - if this is 50% of the bill it can be reduced massively - which is good news! Have a browse around the main MSE site - pretty sure Martin's "Brand Challenge" info will still be there. Also the Old Style board on here has some great resources for cutting grocery spendsClothing................................ 50 Cut back to essentials only for the momentPetrol/diesel........................... 70Road tax................................ 26 Are you paying this monthly? If so it's an expensive way of doing so I believe as I think a premium is charged.Car Insurance........................... 30Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 15 Are you definitely putting this aside? Only you're showing no cash assets?Car parking............................. 0Other travel............................ 40Childcare/nursery....................... 0Other child related expenses............ 50Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 18Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0Buildings insurance..................... 10Contents insurance...................... 10Life assurance ......................... 20Other insurance......................... 10Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30 Are you definitely putting this aside? Only you're showing no cash assets?Haircuts................................ 3Entertainment........................... 50Holiday................................. 0Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]Total monthly expenses.................. 1389[/b][b]Assets[/b]Cash.................................... 0House value (Gross)..................... 300000Shares and bonds........................ 0Car(s).................................. 4000Other assets............................ 0[b]Total Assets............................ 304000[/b][b]Secured & HP Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMortgage...................... 32600....(382)......0[b]Total secured & HP debts...... 32600.....-.........- [/b][b]Unsecured Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMarbles Card...................782.......50........0MBNA Card......................8264......222.......22.93Santander......................3600......55........17.4VIRGIN MONEY...................4520......115.......20.84PAYPAL.........................1813......60........21.9NATWEST CARD...................4389......60........18.27AMEX...........................4866......181.......22Barclay Card...................8511......178.......15.82[b]Total unsecured debts..........36745.....921.......- [/b][b]Monthly Budget Summary[/b]Total monthly income.................... 1,500Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 1,389Available for debt repayments........... 111Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 921[b]Amount short for making debt repayments. -810[/b][b]Personal Balance Sheet Summary[/b]Total assets (things you own)........... 304,000Total HP & Secured debt................. -32,600Total Unsecured debt.................... -36,745[b]Net Assets.............................. 234,655[/b][i]Created using the SOA calculator at www.LemonFool.co.uk.Reproduced on Moneysavingexpert with permission, using other browser.[/i][/font]
The main thing as said previously is a desperate need to increase your income - and indeed for your girlfriend to start contributing, I'm afraid - she may have her debts to pay, but so do you - there is little to be gained by her having all her income to throw at her debts, but you ending up defaulting on yours as a result!0 -
I think so - I know it's not easy, but leaving things as they are - what happens when she ends up debt free - will she then start meeting all the bills on YOUR house, to allow you to pay your stuff off? Even if this is her plan, it will be a lot harder by then as you will have accrued a lot more as a result of interest racking up. It's not reasonable to expect her to pay 50% of the mortgage IMO, but a fair share of the bills, for a property she's living in? Absolutely!🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
Balance as at 31/08/25 = £ 95,450.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her4 -
I agree with others - sticking with the division of payments that used to work is not a good idea - the whole household income and expenses needs to be looked at every now and then. Situations change and you need something that works for now.
But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,Had the whole of their cash in his care.
Lewis Carroll1 -
Deep breath.....whilst it is not an insignificant sum, it is manageable. Please do not consider securing a loan against a house, it is likely you will have to pay a huge amount of interest as you may be forced down the sub prime route due to debt to income ratio.
You could write to all of the credit card companies, asking for a reduced payment agreement and a freeze on interest. You will need to include all of your debts, who you owe it to, income and living costs. I did this with £45K debt, and halved payments and all froze intertest. It is an informal arrangement, so they can pull it anytime, but it has helped me pay about 3K off in 45 months, rather than paying off a minimum payment, then using cards again. Of course, my cards are blocked, and my credit file has taken a hit, but that is the price you pay!
Compile an accurate budget, all expenses, even haircuts, presents and so forth, make sure it fully reflects your current situation, See how much you have left (and budget every penny coming in and going out). Use the surplus as a basis for a reduced payment offer. I told my creditors it would take me 12 months to get back onto my financial feet and they seem happy with this.
Good luck2 -
There is just too much going out and not enough coming in and you have already been given advice on how to cut costs. I agree that increasing your income by you taking a second job (even seasonal) may help you in the short term and your girlfriend needs to start paying something. If you are paying interest on the debts now and unable to get 0% deals then I can see no alternative other than a DMP which means you defaulting on the debts and hopefully the interest will be frozen and the payment set at an affordable amount. That will affect your credit record.
On no account should you move this debt to secured and risk your home by taking out any secured loans. Borrowing more is not the answer here. I would discuss this with your girlfriend to see if this can be avoided by her paying something and you may need to tell your Dad as when you come to remortgage any defaults will show up on your credit file.
Certainly it is possible to get out of it but your options are limited . The main thing is though to stop it getting worse so cut the cards up or put them away somewhere.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
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Can you afford to run two cars at the moment?0
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