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Child benefit High income charge - Tax bill higher than benefit received

We claimed Child benefit from November 2018 - August 2021.
We registered for self assessment and filed for the relevant years.
Every year the tax bill we received is a good few hundred more than the Child benefit received.

I am PAYE only and just over the 60k bracket due to the value of the P111D.
I thought maybe it was based on the increase on the P111D being estimated for the previosu tax year? but my tax code is adjusted at least once in the year and I don't owe anything on the P60? if I'm paying the shortfall in the tax return why is my tax code being readjusted with in the following year and if its re estimating for the next why am I left with a bill?  maybe i'm barking up the wrong tree but I just don't understand...

All HMRC seem to want to advise me is the basic calculation of  - 'This is what you received, this is the tax you should pay'  - ... I've also been told to see if my husband can explain it to me ! Told I am well able to afford the tax on my salary and I'd have to claim self assessment regardless as I am in the high income bracket; which is not correct and that I don't need to asking these questions , you have to pay the charge. Which I've repeatedly told them in every conversation I'm going to pay (and have) - I just want to know how the additional part is calculated as it just seems to disappear in to no mans land...

Both my husband and I have worked PAYE since we were 16, we have  no idea how this is calculated.   Getting an accountant (another great HMRC suggestion) would cost more than the additional tax payable and obviously not tax deductible as we are NOT self employed !!!!

If there any one that can explain how this works i would be eternally grateful.. I just want to understand.

Thank you

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