Stopping spending

teaandcupcakesplease

Hi all. Ok so I don’t have Lot of debt BUT I need to stop spending. I suffer MH ( bipolar) and have a tendency to fritter money of things I don’t need. The majority of the time it’s not huge purchases but it all mounts up and I pay on credit card then pay some off at end of month. I dont seem to be able to stop myself. Once I get it in to my head I need to buy it - then I get angry and upset with myself and do it again. Anyone any tips to stop wasting money? What hints and tips work for you? I really would love to hear any advice x XxSorry if this isn’t the right place 

enthusiasticsaver

Can you leave your cards at home and just take a limited amount of cash out with you each day? I would also say stop using credit cards.  It is a well known fact that people think less about what they are buying and how much it is when you use credit cards rather than debit cards or cash.  It is as if you think to yourself you do not immediately have to pay it off so give yourself permission to spend money you do not really have. If buying online get into the habit of leaving stuff in your basket for a while to give yourself a chance to think about whether you really need it or not. 

teaandcupcakesplease

Hi thanks so much for the reply the basket thing is a really good idea!! ( so it’s the rest of the advice!) I was going to withdraw cash this month and leave all cards at home to see if this works…. X

EssexHebridean

I'd definitely say that stepping away from credit card use at least while you break the frittering habit might be a plan. 

Another thing that can help is to start adding up the cost of your frittery spends and then multiply them out over a period of time. For example, a lot of office workers pop into a coffee shop to grab coffee/breakfast daily. £3 for a latte and maybe £2 for a muffin, cookie or similar. £5 a time - doesn't sound like much does it, but over a regular working year, if that is a daily habit, you're looking at a spend of around £1200. Having got to the office, that person then starts thinking about lunch - they're always good about remembering to take it from home on a Monday, sometimes on Tuesdays too, but after that the find themselves thinking how much easier it will be just to pop out and get a meal deal. £3 a time - let's assume three days a week is "usual" - another £400 a year. While they are in the supermarket for the meal deal they also grab a magazine quite often as it's nice to have something to read - and, hang on, wasn't there some shopping needed too? Except with no list, they wander aimlessly round picking up stuff that looks nice...an additional £10 every few times in the supermarket then, of which maybe a couple of £ was on stuff that was actually needed... £900 or so per year... So that morning coffee, plus "occasional" lunch (which is actually not that occasional at all) ends up costing around £2500 a year. Compare that with making a coffee at home, taking something like a piece of home made flapjack for breakfast, and remembering lunch pretty much daily, plus a book to read while eating, and maybe those things do genuinely become an "occasional treat" which save a fortune. 

Martin's money mantra is a good one to remember too - "Do I need it? Can I afford it? Have I checked prices elsewhere?" If the answer to the first is "No, but I want it" then tell yourself if you still want it in 10 days time, then you can reconsider the purchase then but ONLY if the honest answer to the second question is "yes". The third question makes you take additional time to consider - often you may decide you don't really need to buy the thing after all! 

Ebe_Scrooge

teaandcupcakesplease said:

 I pay on credit card then pay some off at end of month.

This will compound the problem.  If you're only paying some of the credit card bill each month, rather than the full balance, you'll be paying interest.  So whatever it is that you bought, straight away it's cost you more than you originally paid for it.

There have been a couple of good answers already, hopefully this thought will be another way to help you resist temptation.

teaandcupcakesplease

EssexHebridean said:

I'd definitely say that stepping away from credit card use at least while you break the frittering habit might be a plan. 

Another thing that can help is to start adding up the cost of your frittery spends and then multiply them out over a period of time. For example, a lot of office workers pop into a coffee shop to grab coffee/breakfast daily. £3 for a latte and maybe £2 for a muffin, cookie or similar. £5 a time - doesn't sound like much does it, but over a regular working year, if that is a daily habit, you're looking at a spend of around £1200. Having got to the office, that person then starts thinking about lunch - they're always good about remembering to take it from home on a Monday, sometimes on Tuesdays too, but after that the find themselves thinking how much easier it will be just to pop out and get a meal deal. £3 a time - let's assume three days a week is "usual" - another £400 a year. While they are in the supermarket for the meal deal they also grab a magazine quite often as it's nice to have something to read - and, hang on, wasn't there some shopping needed too? Except with no list, they wander aimlessly round picking up stuff that looks nice...an additional £10 every few times in the supermarket then, of which maybe a couple of £ was on stuff that was actually needed... £900 or so per year... So that morning coffee, plus "occasional" lunch (which is actually not that occasional at all) ends up costing around £2500 a year. Compare that with making a coffee at home, taking something like a piece of home made flapjack for breakfast, and remembering lunch pretty much daily, plus a book to read while eating, and maybe those things do genuinely become an "occasional treat" which save a fortune. 

Martin's money mantra is a good one to remember too - "Do I need it? Can I afford it? Have I checked prices elsewhere?" If the answer to the first is "No, but I want it" then tell yourself if you still want it in 10 days time, then you can reconsider the purchase then but ONLY if the honest answer to the second question is "yes". The third question makes you take additional time to consider - often you may decide you don't really need to buy the thing after all! 

Thank you so much for this your so right i start off so well and then think "ill get grab this or that" to reward myself for doing so well lol 

FluffyBabyPenguin

It can help to imagine the future if you carry on are as you are doing.

If you are not paying off the full balance each month, your debt will build up to an uncomfortable point very quickly. I promise you won't feel good when you one day discover you owe £10k+ on credit cards! All those little things you don't really need suddenly become a big and distressing problem. It will be costing hundreds each month just to pay minimum payments, eating into your actual budget, be a weight on your mind, and will take years of hard work and strict budgeting to clear it up. Don't do that to yourself! You deserve better.

First, cut up the credit cards, all of them (assuming you currently don't rely on them for basic living expenses). Unlink them from any online accounts so you can't buy random crap on the internet with money you don't have! If you "can't stop yourself" then you will need to cut off the ability to do these things. Plan to get what little debt you have paid off asap.

Then sort out your budget. Account for all your basic needs and living expenses, clothing, gift-buying, holiday savings, emergency savings, and see what's left over. Aim to include a small amount in your budget for "personal spends" so that you can treat yourself a little but also not beyond what's affordable. It might be £10 or £20 per month or whatever but it is much more satisfying to treat oneself within budget than to have to worry about it later. Keep a spending diary so you know what you are spending your money on. 

I remind myself that there is very little in the world that is an essential purchase, particularly consumer goods and snack food. Shops will always use tricks like "last one!" and "don't miss out on our sale!" to prey on shoppers' fears of missing out. If you see something you want, make yourself wait at least 48 hours before reconsidering the purchase. By that time the thrill may be gone or you'll have decided you don't need it. Sometimes you might actually "miss out" on the item but this is rare and chances are you won't be that upset even if you do! You'll have saved yourself money by not spending it.

Also remind yourself that none of the things you buy will bring you happiness of any value. The few moments of pleasure that people feel when they buy something is akin to a few moments of drug-induced high, which quickly fades and demands to be replenished. Whereas saving up for a considered purchase can feel more worthwhile because in order to get it you had to make sacrifices or resist the initial temptation to splurge. Money can be used to contribute to your life, but you have to aim it in a specific and worthy direction. Figure out what that is and you'll be less tempted to fritter away your hard-earned money. Good luck!

EssexHebridean

Ha - that point about the offers is SUCH a good one. Long term MSE'ers all know that however good the deal looks, there will be another one along shortly! 

FluffyBabyPenguin

Reading back what I wrote previously, I realise that much of it may not be any use to someone with BPD. I have heard it is very difficult to control one's decisions when in the "manic" phase and your usual rational process can easily be overriden! You may find it more helpful to seek specific advice from any counsellors you have, from BPD support services, or from others with the same condition.

Denying yourself access to credit is probably one of the best things you can do for yourself. Cut up the cards, close the accounts. There seems to be multiple avenues of online credit available these days (Klarna, Paypal+ and the like), which you will need to have the mindset of "absolutely cannot use", just ignore them if you see them pop up. Remember all they want is to make money from you, they are not there to make things any easier for anyone.

If you are at risk of impulse-buying from your bank account, some sort of cash-envelope system may work for you so at least you always have money there to pay your bills, buy food etc. It cannot be easy having a MH condition that imposes on your life, I hope you find ways of limiting its destructive tendencies on your wellbeing that work for you.