Feeling a bit hopeless & in need of advice

Anon_12345

The majority of the debt was from our home purchase, the solicitor costs and fees were put onto a card as we didn't have the cash available for it, also a family holiday was put on a card - no gambling etc. More when we have had unplanned costs come up - new boiler in January and some car repairs the credit card was used.

I will do an updated SOA looking through my last couple of bank statements, I have been working from home since covid but will be back to the office in October so will have additional travel costs then of around £200 per month so really need to get my finances in order ahead of that.

Partner is aware of the debt yes.

Naomim

It's good he's aware, as these are obviously joint debts, is he helping pay them down too?

Anon_12345

hmm no - initially one of the cards did come out of the joint account as it was all the house charges etc but when I did a 0% balance transfer it then came out of my own account and has done ever since, I do think I should suggest that one goes back into the joint account as they are all joint debts.
 
I have considered looking to add some of the debt to our mortgage when we can re-mortgage in 2022 as this would be a lower APR than a consolidation loan but my partner wasn't keen on that idea and if I could look to re-pay myself and get debt free that would be a better option I think.

RAS

Adding unsecured debt to the mortgage is a bad idea. Full-stop. And a consolidation loan little better.

Most of this is joint debt from house, holiday and boiler so need to be treated as joint debt, not yours alone. 

I'd suggest that even if you don't post it here, you and OH do a joint SOA and that you create a joint budgeting account into which you both pay monthly towards annual expenses. Insurances, house maintenance, car tax and maintenance, TV license, Christmas, holidays, presents and emergency fund. Add up what they cost last year and divide by 12. That'll stop nasty surprises, which you seem to have funded on credit. If possible book a "date", get shot of the kids for a day and sit down together to go through all your (plural) bank and credit statements and see where it's gone. Start with the last 6 months and a spreadsheet.

That probably means you won't be doing much on the holiday front and need to cut back on presents until you (jointly) get this credit card debt under control.

elsien

I agree. If the debt has primarily built up from joint expenditure then you both need to be paying it down, regardless of whose name it is in. 

Is there a reason that none of the debt is in his name? 

Anon_12345

His credit previously wasn't great so he couldn't get approved for the cards hence them being solely in my name at the time - doing a joint SOA is definitely a good idea although I have no sight of his earnings, other than the joint account everything has always been kept very separate which is fine but not sure how much he would want to share with me - he can be a bit funny about things like that.

enthusiasticsaver

Anon_12345 said:

The majority of the debt was from our home purchase, the solicitor costs and fees were put onto a card as we didn't have the cash available for it, also a family holiday was put on a card - no gambling etc. More when we have had unplanned costs come up - new boiler in January and some car repairs the credit card was used.

I will do an updated SOA looking through my last couple of bank statements, I have been working from home since covid but will be back to the office in October so will have additional travel costs then of around £200 per month so really need to get my finances in order ahead of that.

Partner is aware of the debt yes.

That sounds like joint debt then rather than debt just built up by you so you and your partner should be tackling it together.  Not just you.  You would also do well to start building up some emergency savings  so that future emergencies like the boiler do not need to go on a card. How much spare income does your partner have and why is he happy for you to be dealing with these debts on your own? 

enthusiasticsaver

Anon_12345 said:

His credit previously wasn't great so he couldn't get approved for the cards hence them being solely in my name at the time - doing a joint SOA is definitely a good idea although I have no sight of his earnings, other than the joint account everything has always been kept very separate which is fine but not sure how much he would want to share with me - he can be a bit funny about things like that.

That sounds like a red flag if he is happy to let you clear joint debt and not give you details of his income.  I would be telling him he has to make half the repayments if he won't treat them as joint.  Also be very wary of taking on debts for a partner who has a bad credit record and does not let you into details of his own finances. Ideally you should put the repayments for the debt through the joint account and you both up  your monthly contributions. 

RAS

Anon_12345 said:

His credit previously wasn't great so he couldn't get approved for the cards hence them being solely in my name at the time - doing a joint SOA is definitely a good idea although I have no sight of his earnings, other than the joint account everything has always been kept very separate which is fine but not sure how much he would want to share with me - he can be a bit funny about things like that.

I'd agree this is a real red flag as you've taken on joint debt and he's not helping you sort it out. If you split up, you're is a real mess with all the debt and he expects half the equity that he's protecting.

You also need to be aware that his poor credit record is probably dragging your own down via the joint  mortgage and account.

So sooner or later neither of you will be able to get low cost credit unless he starts taking action to help you lower the debt and to clean up his own financial background. 

Anon_12345

Yes you are definitely right, I am going to speak to my partner about adding at least 1 of the cards back into the joint account so we can tackle that together, I can then work on snowballing the 2 store accounts that have the high APR and I will take off the re-mortgage or consolidation as an option as these do not sound like good solutions.  I am going to set myself the target of clearing at least one of the store cards over the next 6 months - I could look to add those to a credit card on a 0% balance transfer - would you say that was a good option? It would at least stop the interest but I would be adding to a credit card balance?