Winds of change

savingholmes

I got given most of my baby clothes and paraphernalia - much of it second hand. If you ask around and get your relatives to ask for you it can help achieve that. I think some clothes for you are probably higher priority than the baby - just to boost your self confidence again. I struggled with that while on mat leave.

Well done on the CC payments.

WildflowerWind

Thanks @savingholmes, you're totally right - good clothing can make a huge difference to how you feel. I thought that while pregnant but I did resent having to spend money on clothes I'd only be wearing for a short while! I've tried to get a few things that will last, some nursing vests I can wear under regular clothes (either button up/wrap style or lift up a top) and some dresses and a hoodie. I was very tempted by a lovely jumper dress thats just the style I usually wear in the winter but decided to go with a cotton style that I can wear with boots and a thick cardigan now and will still be good for summer. I've also sorted through my existing wardrobe and pulled out anything suitable. I always like changing my wardrobe around at the change of seasons, I find it helps me remember what clothes I have as well as making space by keeping unseasonal clothes packed away. This time I'm looking at everything in a new way and finding some previously unloved skirts and wrap dresses have proven themselves worth holding on to!

I'm really enjoying getting out for regular walks, I'm a big fan of the Zombies, Run! app and have replayed some of the earlier missions while walking. I'm saving the new content for when I get back to running which will hopefully be soon, it's a good motivation as I love the stories.

I have already made the decision to return to playing sports though! My hockey club have been struggling for ladies keepers all season and last weekend one team were totally desperate. I figured as I was feeling pretty well and the walks were showing I could at least mange light exercise, I should try and get back into it. I messaged the captain and she was delighted - I said I'd need to take it easy but she was fine with that. I was surprised by how good I felt considering it had been almost a year since I'd played and only 7 weeks since the birth. Luckily I didn't have too much to do in the game (which we won, yay!). We'll see how it goes over the next few weeks, next match is tomorrow morning 😄

I was slightly worried about leaving DD, especially as it was an away game and I was gone for nearly 6 hours! But I think it's great for her and DH to have time together. We'd planned and prepared for it, I'd pumped and stored plenty of milk for her and we'd made sure she'd take it from the bottle. In the end the day went really well, they had a lovely time together and I got to play the match and, so importantly, to socialise with my friends and do something for myself for a little while. 

Fingers crossed for another good game tomorrow! 

savingholmes

Trust the doc / midwife has signed you off okay to return to sports? It used to be a 6 week check.

I think it's brilliant you are doing something for you and having some time out. Will help you appreciate her all the more - and help your DH realise how hard work it can be looking after a little one all day. Plus the bonding...

Honeysucklelou2

Just catching up on your diary...CONGRATULATIONS! 🥳 Enjoy this precious time with your little one.

Well done on paying off one of the CCs.

WildflowerWind

Thanks, she's amazing I just can't get enough 😊

Yes it's still a 6-8 week check, I've only just seen the GP face to face but had spoken with the health visitors who have been really helpful and encouraging us to trust our instincts. We have also had her check up and first round of vaccinations and all is looking good. 

I had another great morning on Saturday, playing a more local match this time. It was a tougher game, although I still only touched the ball once and we won again, 2-1! Again I made sure to warm up well and I felt ok afterwards. I've not made it back to training yet, firstly as it's evenings and it's a bit more difficult to coordinate with DHs work - but also training can be quite intense and I don't want to overdo it. 

I've just received some breastfeeding clothes that I'd ordered and I'm delighted, I've got some lovely things that I can wear in a few different ways - in a smaller size than pre-pregnancy! I now have some nice dresses to go out in, I just need to make some plans to go places 😂

savingholmes

Great news all around

WildflowerWind

Well it's been a while! I have started writing update posts so many times over the last few months but never actually got round to posting. I love reading people's diaries and I spend a lot of time on the old style board (but never post!). I think now will be a time I need this diary and mse ways more than ever so hopefully I can post pretty regularly and keep myself more accountable. Hopefully one day I can see how far I've come too!

I'll do a fuller financial update later, things have been up and down, of course. 

I've been back at work now for 2 weeks, time sure has flown! Work has been going well so far, catching up with everything - staff coming and going and new projects. I was surprised that I didn't find it too difficult to get back into the 'work' mindset. DH is on shared parental leave too so it's been great going back and knowing DD is with him - which has also gone pretty well so far!

I took some AL before I went back so DH and I overlapped our leave. That was lovely to have time together and we visited family and went on holiday for a week too. It felt a bit crazy to spend money going away when we know things are going to be squeezed - but I'm so glad we did, we both love travel and getting a break makes a huge difference to our mental health. DH struggles to relax at home because all he sees is projects and jobs that need doing!

I loved my mat leave and spending time with DD but it was hard at times too. We sold my old car and our village has little public transport and only a small co-op. We went for a long walk every day - whatever the weather. Otherwise we were pretty much at home on our own. We started going to a play group in the village which is great for her, she'd just sit and watch other babies and toddlers at first.  

For me, playing hockey every Saturday was a real lifeline. Getting out of the house and chatting with my teammates, plus doing some exercise, made a real difference. We had a couple of occasions when DD wasn't happy I was gone and that was tough for DH to deal with. He started coming to matches and taking her for a walk while I played. I do think it helped that they had time together alone and has made it easier to transition into his parental leave. My team got promoted (yay!) and now it won't be long until preparation for next season begins. I know it'll be different when were both working and I need to be realistic about what I can manage next season - but I'm determined to play and train as much as I can.

I'll be back with more of a finance breakdown and update on the debts ...

savingholmes

Hockey sounds like it was a lifeline.

Hope things settle for you soon

WildflowerWind

savingholmes said:

Hockey sounds like it was a lifeline.

Hope things settle for you soon

Thank you. Yes it really was! I'm taking part in a tournament in a couple of weeks which is always a lot of fun. Though it's a strange thing now I'm back at work - choosing to spend the day away from DD does create a conflict of feeling!

I'm so glad DH has the opportunity to be off with DD - but I'm also just waiting for when he goes back to work and she's in childcare. Then I'll feel like we're into our new normal. Work is also a bit full on as my mat cover, who was my main support, has left and I've only just managed to recruit. It would be nicer not to effectively have to do two jobs having just come back!

WildflowerWind

So finances, my main aim while on maternity leave was to not add to the debt - at least not with day to day and unnecessary spending. I'd say on that front I was pretty successful, I used the savings I'd put aside to supplement my maternity allowance and that just about lasted ok.

We sold my car while I was not working, it was quite old and inefficient so expensive to tax, insure and run. It had failed it's MOT and needed a lot spending to get on the road again, not worth it! It meant I didn't have access to a car so couldn't really leave the village (there is one bus a day!). Bonus was I didn't spend much! 

When I went back to work we needed another car so we picked up something a little newer, cheaper and hopefully more reliable. We still had a bit to pay off DHs car on one credit card, so in the end I took out a new 0% card and transferred both onto that. We also had the flights and accommodation from our holiday that I paid on my card so I transferred that to the new card too.

So the new card balance is £7986 0% until Dec 24. DH and I will each pay £150 a month so £300 off should clear it before the 0% runs out.

Then my previous debt is now at £1164 0% until May 2023. I am only paying just over the minimum on this so £30 a month. I'd love to get rid of it but I'm wary about using savings or committing to a larger monthly payment as I feel like having no cash seems to encourage me to spend on credit! 

I closed one of my old cards, it had a awful rate, never offered much for balance transfers etc and was still in my maiden name so I thought I'd get rid. That was the card that I spent on in the first place so I was glad to close it. Just got to finish paying the last bit off!