Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

KajiKita

Oh thank goodness for some invoice payments! 🥳🎉
Yaay for YNAB keeping you feeling ‘poor’ 😂😂😂 I hope you know what I mean 😊 It’s a great feeling when you can start to see yourself starting to ‘get ahead’ and that £200 to house savings is a sweet thing too 😊
Good luck with the SMs …. it’s wild out there …. 

KK

FlacosFloozie

Glad the invoices came through. YNAB is great for reminding you that more of your money is spoken for than you think.

Best of luck with the SM this morning- ours was definitely a little more competitive than usual

skint_spice

Have a great Christmas and don’t stress too much about keeping things even in the stockings 😂

LadyWithAPlan

Sains - huge one - had no turkeys left by 1pm Sat lunchtime! So dashed to wait and Mr Ald and bought for my parents a £49 FR Ald one - got one last last year it was good and it’s now soaking in oranges and lemons. 

Mum and I went shopping one straight home got a cup of tea then back out again - 6 hours shopping for food and loads had been done already.
that family dynamic of women still doing most the Xmas work is so true even where make partners may do the cooking etc .  And we wonder why La Plan is single  

Xmas  shopping all done - bought fair amount of food gifts, bubbly  for the various households 

I am visiting and I wrapped up 99% of things 

Did have a few polite but strict words with a family member who is unpleasant when he drinks - used to be worse- but still verbal unpleasant - was told he didn’t give a … about my turkey .. and was moaning in the 2 mins I sat down after 6 hours food shopping and then 6 hours Xmas prep and wrap - all tx to his visit to the pub 
 -  but I am chanting hard and was thinking ‘what would Daisaku Ikeda do’ as I strove to be polite for other family members over dinner. . 

Just chanted this morning - my spiritual practise wans when I am travelling to see family.
of course Tina Turner gained the strength and wisdom to leave Ike due to her chanting (see her Happiness Becomes You book - so I have the strength and wisdom to know i am no longer a defenceless child. 


for anyone reading this experiencing difficulties with family members who are addicts /alcoholics over  Xmas I know it can be very difficult I am sending you a hug and virtual strength.  I  know it’s difficult to see a way out especially as a child or a dependent family member but if you can reach out to supportive family members I would urge you to do so and leave also. 

Verbal, emotional and physical abuse is awful and leaves a lasting lifetime impact on everyone, I was looking and there are some great books for adult children of alcoholics as the trauma, flight or freeze mode (kids can’t fight),  mental health /future relationships consequences of growing up in such circumstances can last a lifetime. So I will buy a couple to read through as this behaviour bought up some ‘stuff’ for me.

And if you are someone whose behaviour is unpleasant, aggressive  or says awful things when you drink then please get on the pathway to tackling this by getting into a 12 step programme. You are causing harm not to mention causing family rifts. 

Despite this my life is fabulous now so please don’t worry re me I have the capacity and funds to fly away whenever I choose - it does make me see me being nervous about buying a home with large bills is partly that a mortgage could  trap me and I always need freedom to escape and financial wherewithal to do so - that’s part of my trauma - however a paid for home for myself will give me freedom as opposed to Blanche in Streetcar Named Desire!! 

So I will journal about this in the new year
-  hence the benefit of chanting makes me see that his current behaviour could help me further myself and see where I have more work to heal and grow.  He has been much better over years as he can’t drink as much but really the current wisdom to see I need to do more healing on past trauma is actually v useful. 

I am off to see other family members this evening for a few days lots of fun screaming happy kids  so my Xmas will get better though still busy as I help with more wrapping cooking but it will be joyous . 

On the upside also I did a late night casino offer part of my MB and had my largest ever (by £100 more than my last largest ever in November ) casino win .-  over £1k just less than £1.5k 
I do think I was down this month on MB as casino is up and down so I can’t say this covers Xmas but  still this kind of win will cover any shortfall and hopefully some month end profit 
i will do EOM Mb balances but hopefully I will now be up again 
Oct- Nov was £932, last 2 weeks Nov was over £1.1k off the top of my head so let’s see what Dec is even  a couple of hundred is fabulous as tax free
i I would note that only ever had 2 singular wins  of over £1k .. in the 5 plus years of MB so .. but maybe the universe is sending me money to buy a home  

KajiKita

Good news on the MB and well done on the firm but polite words with the relative. It amazing how people like this hold a mirror up to us and where *we* are. Good on you for recognising that you have some work to do - another ‘layer of the onion’ to dissolve ❤️

KK

Cheery_Daff

Well done for dealing with your family situations well as you are LaPlan. You might know ex Mr Cheery had a heavy drink problem so I know something of some of the issues you're dealing with. I ended up in AlAnon (12 steps for family & friends) myself for years, and saw people gaining so much strength to deal with rotten situations. I walked away in the end - but it was always going to be easier to walk from a relatively short term relationship than family, so tough. Glad you have your coping mechanisms x

Well done on the casino win! I've been down all month and finally broke even yesterday 😂 Hoping I can make at least a tenner before the end of the year! 😂

PennysIntoPounds

Congratulations on your win and for being the bigger person. I'm glad you're looking forward to joyful chaos, have a lovely Christmas x

Sistergold

Well done on the payments, and great news that this is the highest you have been payed in the last 12months! You have ended this year on a high note so well done. As you have finished strong you will start strong financially! Keep it up! 

[Deleted User]

Merry Christmas Ladywithaplan, I hope your day turns out well. Awful that you had to deal with awful family member well done on the winnings. 

LadyWithAPlan

Hope everyone is having a lovely festive holiday.  @Sistergold  @Cheery_Daff @PennysIntoPounds @[Deleted User] @KajiKita tx for the well wishes - hope your days off are extra special 

going to bed early after late to bed wrapping 3am ... and then woke up at 7am by an excited nephew. Had a lovely day and drank and ate brilliantly but now need sleep !