Future Proofing my life: Deposit saving then MFW journey in under 13 years

LadyWithAPlan

SuperSecretSquirrel said:

Your work-holiday sounds incredible LaPlan! You got to spend time with a friend, live in luxurious surroundings, eat like a queen, and buy some gifts at a good price that you'd have bought eventually anyway. Don't feel guilty about that. You don't do it often, and getting all that for the price of a flight ticket amendment and an extravagant restaurant meal is an absolute steal. Just imagine the cost if you hadn't been able to expense the original flights, and the cost of a hotel and food at that kind of level, well that doesn't bear thinking about! A well deserved holiday and at a very MSE price in my opinion. Just keep it as a rare treat and you're golden 😎

A benefit of having a luxurious break like that, I find, is it's so much easier to rein in the spending afterwards. Our "fun money spends" dropped noticeably after our summer holiday as we were all treated out for a while. Our "boring monthly spends" dropped a noticeable amount too thanks fewer grocery and fuel purchases etc. I'm not trying to kid myself, these little savings were a long way from making the holiday cost neutral, but they helped a little.

I know you're on a buy nothing mission right now (and now is a great time for it after a nice indulgent time away) but when you do start thinking about replacing the phone again please consider an inexpensive power bank that you could pop in your handbag. I have a chunky 20Ah one at home for emergency purposes that would charge our phones many times over, only cost £20ish. A small lightweight one can be had for under £10 easily that would fully charge your phone from empry once or twice. Worth thinking about with the big house purchase firmly in mind. Sometimes you can't "buy nothing", but often at those times you can buy "cheaper alternative that meets the need" 😉

Thanks for the reframe - always appreciate your wisdom Especially on the vacation - cost £400 flight change £250 with food and big meal - so relatively little cost in the big picture - though it was an unintended plan and I would have spent some food  in London.
To rent this place for a week is probably £20k a week I should imagine!
Ok so I am telling myself this vacation is a MSE win and great for a reframe on next steps. I did have a European holiday in August so I feel I am fully treated out so I am trusting I will now spend less

I already am carrying TWO battery power banks! One I bought at an airport in Sept when I had a long long delay which is ok but lasts maybe 1.5 charge  only and an old v powerful one thats not been used for years so is not great - I am trying it one more time then deluttering it -  So maybe I do need to invest in a ££ in a decent 20ah+ power bank - the issue is my phone battery is not holding charge as it did so when it starts going a recharge doesnt really help  and as its 82% at present I can get more for it at resale ... 
I was going to get an iphone 15 plus or pro max on contract back in london  over black friday as cheaper and has a physical sim in ... but maybe I just uograde current phone 12 pro  (bought second hand in Feg) to a 14 pro ...  i gather their batteries are better and not full cost .. The running out of power is a pain  especially when I travel so much

LadyWithAPlan

KajiKita said:

I think the Ugly isn’t that bad as you had loosely budgeted $200 (though I am very glad your friend paid the service charge!😳). Shame the food itself wasn’t better though. 🤷‍♀️

Loving the fresh focus and drive you have to realise your dream 😊👏
Cheering you on madly from the sidelines ❤️🤩🥳

KK

Tx for the cheers and recognition it wasnt too bad   Yes when I pay $235 ex service I expect amazing food . It wasnt though I gather the lobster was exquisite so I am happy she enjoyed it.

Cheery_Daff said:

There was an iPhone in Martin's email this week - no idea if it would suit you but would it work out cheaper than what you were looking at?

I will look - I also have my student card so that gives me discounts - I do want a 256gb though  - I could save £300 buying it here! But they only are selling the iphone 15s with an esim only in the US - so I would have to go with either vodafone or a small provider I have never heard of  . hmmm maybe I should have looked at iphone 14s as think they have physical sims in - I will check at airport as not getting off my lounger today  before hitting airport,
The iphone 15 plus apparently has best battery life even vs the the 15 pro max so .. 
I will look at airport or I am often back in the US end of January so maybe I will hang on til then..

dawnybabes said:

I actually think your spendings are a bargain, you’ve had a lovely holiday catching up with a friend, got a load of Vit D and healthier in the process ! 

Tx I am full of gratitude - so lovely to come out my guest house and see a pool, jacuzzi, beautiful gardens and lounger waiting for me

Sistergold

LadyWithAPlan said:

Ok fellow MFWs  - so this post is the good, the bad and the ugly... 

My diary is now 103 (pages) and  823 days old .. Aug 11 2021 to Nov 12 2023.. on a MFW blog and I still haven't bought .. I feel like the protaganist in a film who has finally decided enough is enough and starts to take massive action (often involving flashy martial arts high kicks) - I am however playing the Morricone titular soundtrack - poncho flying in the wind..and locking in on my target



THE UGLY - I apologise what I am about to type out - 
Put any hot drinks down and also your Sunday morning pancake forks - I don't want anyone to accidentally stab themselves in horror.

the cost of the 'thanks for letting me stay' meal.    £191 excluding the 20% service ...  for two of us....

It was made higher as my friend wanted lobster ...  $82 plus tax + service  - I dont eat it as I have an allergy  and honestly it turns my stomach to see it  - we had 3 glasses of wine , she had 2 I had only 1 but at $23 dollars a glass (cheapest was $19 and not good) not including 10% sales tax and of course 20% service... I wasnt having a second - not that I said that  
My friend kept offering to pay due to the cost of the lobster but I had said I would take her to a nice meal and she has covered the food in the house for the week beyond me picking up a few bits  so I was certainly not going to ask her to pay. I have picked up a few things for her over the week  as well but she has opened her home to me and it is the least I can do.
She did kindly pay the service charge $40 or else it would have been  another £35 on top..

However she enjoyed it, its her fav restaurant, and only meal we had out .. I will say the greens were not good, far too salty - we sent them back once but I have had much better same cuisine in London for far cheaper.  



THE BAD
Spending fun £936.32 so far  this month - ouch ouch ouch  - the dont buy anything rule is not happening so far this month but it is now fully in action for the next 19 days beyond essentails and a but of xmas shop
Admittedly £400 was a flight change ... my last hurrah before the hurrah of Xmas 
Spending £191  dinner plus £9 Xmas gifts.. today so £200..
Plus  I saw on Vint*d a pure silk nightie the same brand as the one I am wearing daily here so I have bought it £7.32 - Not wildly expensive as they retail for £250 but definitely not - dont buy stuff -
I am thinking of having my Viv Westwood bag as a xmas gift - so not use it and get the cash for it so they can wrap at xmas..

THE GOOD - LEAVING ON A JETPLANE tomorrow  - and committing to buy finally as an matter of importance in the  next few months.
I was reading a DFW diary  yesterday and the poster suddenly was given 2 months notice despite really winning in lots of areas - the landlord wanted to do it up  and she had to move with 2 cats and a dog ... she did find somewhere for more money that was lovely   but now she  has a  3hr each way drive to work she would have to do once a week, possibly leaving the dog in her car in the car park as too long to be away all day  and a lot of stress plus being away from her local friends.

This has given me the jolt I need - I am  too comfortable where I rent, I love it,  its full of light, space, - been there over 5 years and we probably have max 2 years left in the building - I am a guardia*  , have lots friends in the building, its v central london, BUT I am on a 30 day notice period (I have a lot of furniture) and as many on here have said despite my relatively low rent despite the recent £500 rise, the comfort of a huge deposit (for me) as an EF   and brilliant location I am at the whim  of others. They can at a send of an email cause me huge anxiety and stress and possibly financial worry. I have finally seen the  danger and possible pain of being at someones whim or someone else's plan.

This is my life  -  I want the next place I move to be my home where  I decide if I stay or go, I could also have a dog  
I also can have the joys of OPs...

So I need to be fully in charge of my own destiny - which means becoming an adult and buying a home now is the next and only true step - this trumps the maths of the interest on my deposit and my fear in getting into such a responsibility  of a £275-£350k mortgage on my own and my reluctance to get another job or contract..
I need to also get gazelle intense (Dave R*msey) on spending in this short period of my liife

Its time to step it up -   so this is what is happening on my return to London 
 - Go get another client to increase my income in a steady way - 
- Look at and action the serious side hustles more inc programme to get more income in in the next month.
- get daily gym in as I feel so much better and it clears my head
- Go get a mortgage in principal  thats in-line with my new income and allows me to buy somewhere I can happily and afford to live for the next 11yrs and get paid off whilst also saving for FIRE
- get seriously decluttering and stuff sold on
- Choose to keep current home decluttered and v clean and live now in a gorgeous, clean, place that reflects who I am as I look for the home to buy
- Look hard in various areas of london and find out where i am buying and find the home 
- Get serious about tracking my spending - I may have a play with notion and writing down every spend  - and squeeze every penny out of my budget. Even writing down the spending here this month £929 .. has horrified me..
- track my savings rate each month as a % of that months income.
- DONT BUY STUFF  - except Xmas is nearly here so I will have conversations about spending less - though for the kids is hard .. and of course the party season ... as a single La Plan it will be hard.. however I need to get going  and really look at my going out/entertainment budget - I dont want to be billy no mates but needs to be a middle ground. October was expensive, Nov more... oh yes heres Dec.. when do I choose to stop spending and increase my savings rate?

So actually this weeks accidental vacay has led me to have some mental space to see the woods, not just the trees.

Very good @ladywithaplan that you have set these goals. You are right it’s all well and good until the landlord wants or needs their place back. As we get older there are really better things to worry about than not being sure about how long you will live in a place. What’s the point of all the money we have when you can not guarantee where and how you will live? Accommodation can be fast paced and you realise it when you have to find a place whether it’s rental or buying. At present buying is at a slower speed and you don’t want to get into the market when it picks up again. When it picks up it’s so stressful to try and buy. Good luck with the search when you come back. Getting chilly 🥶 in London by the day! 

daisy_1571

I go out with 3 friends and years ago they decided they were paying for their wine as I only drink a blackcurrant and lemonade or even just the table tap water.  I regularly pay about 20quid for a quarter of the food bill, they are each at least 15quid more to cover their wine.  I would have paid a quarter of the whole thing but inside I would have been aggrieved so I am grateful to them for suggesting it.  Now I'm older and less likely to fit in with what i think others would want me to do I'd probably suggest it myself nowadays.  I say 'what I think' cos sometimes these social conventions that we feel constrained by, actually no one is thinking it.

Could you suggest to your closest friend that you are trying to change your drinking habits and you won't be drinking as fast anymore but she should still feel free to do as she wishes so you're thinking each should pay for your own?  One it saves the cost of someone else's expensive drinks and two you can drink at your own pace rather than keeping up with rounds.  Just a thought.   Generally once people get used to the idea they just accept the new normal. 

Well done on all your planning 

Daisy xx

LadyWithAPlan

@daisy_1571 tx for this suggestion 
I am afraid she gets a bit upset when I don’t get drinking as quickly as her …though I will try ot in occasion /  however the secret sparkling water vs vodka may be a good tactic for the next 6 weeks 
I think once I find a flat and see the costs going out I will be v quick to haul in all spending 

@Sistergold you make a v good point/ definitely a buyers market right now 
I don’t want the stress of finding then losing something I love and can afford .. 
I have a jacket, pashmina and  a hat at the top of my luggage for my return after being (I won’t say it ) almost too hot by the pool today 29 degrees 

I spent 40 mins floating on a giant float in the pool chilling with the world watching the hummingbirds and the butterflies visualising my new home 
I did actually hand draw a chart of it -that I have been colouring in £500 squares for 2.5 years -  3 beds split level only with a balcony on main bedroom and a large patio garden on the river flooded with light - nothing like drawing a dream ! 

So I visualised that as I floated round in the heat 
- I will make a vision board of what I want 

spending 
£44 cab to airport but be covered  by work expenses 

Grocery  £93/£150  grocery    + £0/100bulk 
£10 in airport for water and some GF liquorice for the flight - I also have bought a chicken breast and some crudités and a last few chips with me from the house - plus a couple GF protein bars I bought-  can never guarantee I get fed on flights with the GF issue even though I warn them and Also go on live chat before etc

i couldn’t check in online so had to get here 3 hours early and a fairly dead no fun shopping airport so doing some tax stuff for my EOY accounts! Found a charger and off I go  

had a great time but been away to 3 countries since mid Sept . So actually glad to be heading home finally and get hibernating for the winter and plotting the official LaPlan Plan  

KajiKita

Safe travels. Glad you are ready for the cold and damp! 😉 Be good to have you home 😊

KK

themadvix

By all means do a vision board if that helps you, but I’d suggest making sure that you’ve got all your RM alerts set up and you start talking to EAs in the areas you’re interested in buying. You’ve established that you need to take action, you’ve got a good idea of what you want, so I think it’s time you started getting out there and seeing lots of properties - by all means do your research and don’t waste time on ones that don’t tick the boxes (for everyone’s sake), but you can’t beat seeing properties and getting an idea of what’s out there/local areas/property styles.

daisy_1571

I see your issue with your friend there.  I'm sure you'll be aware of all the psychology there.  People that are unhappy with their own choices will definitely see it as judgement if you decide to do something different.   I understand it will be easier to pretend with the water etc but at some point you might be able to have a conversation about your spending goals, cutting back and healthier choices for yourself.   Possibly no matter how you word it she might be a bit awkward about it for a while but if you stick by your own choices hopefully it will all go well   

Daisy xx

Karmacat

daisy_1571 said:

I see your issue with your friend there.  I'm sure you'll be aware of all the psychology there.  People that are unhappy with their own choices will definitely see it as judgement if you decide to do something different.   I understand it will be easier to pretend with the water etc but at some point you might be able to have a conversation about your spending goals, cutting back and healthier choices for yourself.   Possibly no matter how you word it she might be a bit awkward about it for a while but if you stick by your own choices hopefully it will all go well   

Yeah, I'm with Daisy - speeding up your drinking to stop your friend's bad feelings coming up, that's not good for either of you.  And it's not you that's causing any awkwardness, believe me. 

About the water, though, as I think I was the one that mentioned it - I never pretended it was booze, in fact I was very proud of my solution 🤣 because yes, I wanted to drink lots, but I could tell the toll it was taking on my body wasn't a good thing 🙄 and I knew I didn't have the willpower to drink less.  Much like I don't have the willpower today to have chocolate in the house 🙄

earthgirl2

I would also say if I didn't want a drink, but I have a friend who just blames it on 'medication' if she is in a group and doesn't want to drink as it's easier than explaining for her that her budget has ran out. Sometimes she tells me and I buy her drinks or bring a bottle for her, it's not a problem though. 

My SIL is a fan of the hip flask (don't think it's a great idea, don't think it supports pubs etc who are really struggling, although it's saved her thousands over the years!) and also bringing a gift bag of something and drinking it - especially at weddings.