Forget that I ever existed

ushjr

Forget that I ever existed

elsien

Would having another job that you don't dread going into help you to switch off?
I've only felt like that when I've been unhappy at work or burned out. 

ETA - I'm not sure you're really going to get any different answers from your thread back in May. You say you hate your job - there isn't really any way to switch off from the dread of the next working day while you stay in a job you really don't want to be doing. 

tacpot12

Hi ushjr, I'm sorry you are struggling with this.

I do think that a change of jobs will help, but you may also benefit from other changes. You would perhaps benefit from having two proper alarm clocks (not your phone) by your bed so that you can be more certain that you won't oversleep. 

You might benefit from giving yourself permission to have a lie in on Saturdays and Sundays, providing you get up by 10am. I'd suggest turning the bedside alarms off at the weeking and use your phone to wake you with a gentle ringtone. Set a more strident ringtone for 11am! Most phones can be set for these alarms to only go off on certain days. 

You might also benefit from some sort of wall chart where you can visualise the hours between 9am on Saturday and going to bed on Sunday night - with such a chart you could plot out the things you want to do, and see that you can do those things before you have to be back at work.

Generally we all have to work, and we all have to cope with the fact that we have to return to work after the weekend. It does help if the work you are returning to is interesting. 

coffeehound

I can relate to a lot of what you say, @ushjr.  Some 'sleep hygiene' measures may help such as retiring to bed an hour earlier, avoiding using screens and with a warm-white lamp just read a book until you drift off.

But if you are someone whose body clock just runs longer than 24 hours, you will probably always find mornings stressful and a struggle.  (This is also reckoned to be a factor in ADHD apparently.)

Anxiety from a demanding job also difficult to solve without a major change somewhere.  Reduced working hours/days could well help.

I've recently had to make that change, and have taken a lower paid job with reduced hours and working nights to see if it is more managable.  It certainly helps to be able to sleep after work as you can then sleep as long as you need.  Also it reduces stress before work as you have plenty of time to prepare and get organised.

elsien

Screen time definitely makes a difference - I’ve set a “not after 9pm” rule because it was having a huge impact on my sleep with subsequent lethargy during the day.

What sort of hell are you getting with your mental health? Melatonin can help with AsDADHD and sleep, but it needs a diagnosis first, if you think it may be relevant to you.  

Alternatively getting up a bit earlier and going out for a walk can help to reset the body clock as well as improving serotonin levels. 

Look up the bbc sounds “just one thing” podcast.

Thrugelmir

ushjr said:

However I can never get it out of my mind that whatever leisure time I have is going to end with me going back to work. 

Find hobbies and activities that occupy your mind. Music gigs, threatre and the cinema are great ways to escape for couple of hours. 

MalMonroe

Hi, why don't you go back to your GP and mention that you think you have been suffering from adult ADHD for a number of years now? I've also suffered from many of the symptoms you mention and have recently been diagnosed as having anaemia. Which could be one explanation for your problems but I realise that you have been having trouble for years and also your symptoms do fit with the symptoms of adult ADHD.

My daughter recently pointed out to me that I seem to have a lot of the symptoms of adult ADHD, although I am yet to mention this to my GP. 

When I was suffering from depression in the past, I was given medication and also referred for CBT. I just could not get along with CBT because it was far too 'organised' for me. I know other people do find it helpful but if there's one thing I hate doing, it's making lists! I just couldn't stick with it, and there is another symptom of ADHD.  

I'm retired now but when I was working I had a very responsible job that took up all of my concentration so I wasn't really able to think about how I felt about it, I did enjoy the challenge and loved working to tight deadlines. Generally, if I have a lot of time to finish a task, I tend to procrastinate until the last minute and then rush to get it finished. That's how I do my best work. Obviously, it's not ideal. 

You might want to try meditation or relaxation - there are free sessions on the internet. I find them to be calming. Also listening to music. And, as elsien says, no screen time after a certain time at night because it does keep your brain active. The pandemic hasn't helped, as we haven't been able to go out and about as we normally would - I do find that socialising with friends is one of the most helpful things for me. Even if only on a video chat. 

But as I said, you wouldn't lose anything if you had a chat with your GP about ADHD and they may be able to give you something to help. 

Ditzy_Mitzy

@ushjr - I seem to recall, from previous threads, that you're the one who has strange eating habits.  The 'weird faint feeling' you describe could well be linked to that.  You need food in you at the right times of day.  I did the whole anorexic thing in my teens and am familiar with the sensations you mention; they were caused by nothing more complicated than running on empty, literally.  

bobobski

I don't know if this helps at all, but your first post could have been describing me (except for the faint thing). I don't hate my job - the people are lovely, the work is interesting and the pay is great.  But, and this is my current explanation for the constant feeling of dread and stress, I hate having to work. Maybe it's the same for you. 

Personally, and I've given this a lot of thought, I don't think there's a job that I would do if I didn't have to work. So moving jobs isn't the cure. I've instead begun focusing on early retirement. Which is kind of a two birds solution - it makes me want to work hard to get the money I need for investing into pensions etc, and it's become a hobby in itself tracking how we're doing. And it makes me dread work slightly less, as work is my way out of work. 

Hope this helps.