Asking ex husband to accept a lesser amount from the house...

ClaireE

My ex husband if asking for his share of the house, currently held as a second charge against the mortgage. He is not on the deeds or mortgage. He has not paid child support for a number of years - so I have calculated all the missed payments up to the point all 3 lads reached or will reach 18. I have subtracted this from the sum he is due. I am not prepared to sell the house (to release his money) as my sons are still living at home and in higher education. I am paying for their upkeep, travel etc with no help from him. At least one will go to university.

Do I/should I ask him to reduce the amount he is expecting to cover some of the boys' expenses? If so how would it be calculated?

I am applying for a re-mortgage to raise the money for him. I have offered him a lower amount which will be easier to arrange with the bank which he has accepted. But says he still wants the rest of it at a later date. I don't want to cheat him out of money he is entitled to but people are telling me he needs to contribute towards their educations, even when they are past 18.

poppy12345

ClaireE said:

people are telling me he needs to contribute towards their educations, even when they are past 18.

Can't answer your question but child maintenance only applies while they are in full time non advanced education. It can be claimed up until their 20th birthday if they remain in full time non advanced education,.. Once the child benefit ends maintenace also ends.

badmemory

What is sauce for the goose is unfortunately not sauce for the gander.  I asked my ex to contribute towards his sons university course.  No he said as no-one did to mine.  I should have called him a liar (even though it was the answer I expected).  I had paid as I received no maintainance at all whilst he was at uni didn't even receive our share of his 6 months redundancy money.  Many of them seem to be incapable of doing the right thing.  Maybe I should have demanded a DNA test as I find it difficult to believe that my son is also actually his son!

Brie

Sounds to me like one for the lawyers.  If there's an agreement that you pay him X and he pays maintenance Z then that's fine.  If he has broken his side of the agreement than it should be recalculated.  But I am not a lawyer.

pinkshoes

badmemory said:

What is sauce for the goose is unfortunately not sauce for the gander.  I asked my ex to contribute towards his sons university course.  No he said as no-one did to mine.  I should have called him a liar (even though it was the answer I expected).  I had paid as I received no maintainance at all whilst he was at uni didn't even receive our share of his 6 months redundancy money.  Many of them seem to be incapable of doing the right thing.  Maybe I should have demanded a DNA test as I find it difficult to believe that my son is also actually his son!

He doesn't need to contribute towards university. That is what student loans are for.

MOST parents cannot afford to pay towards university. I don't think any child should expect a parent to pay towards their further education. 

@ClaireE You should make sure it is put in writing what he owes in child support and ask him to pay it as a lump sum separately, and say that this will allow you to be able to re-mortgage the house to give him the money he is owed. Make it clear that until he pays the child support that he owes you are not in a position to easily remortgage. 

Spendless

I don't think you mean you children are currently in higher education as you also say 'at least one of them will go to University'.
Higher education IS university or equivalent
Do you mean further education eg college/sixth form? (after GCSEs) 

If you can clarify your sons ages and what educational stage or establishment they are at. It might help with the responses.