Private Arrangement Overpayment

lozzaemm

Strap in, it’s a long story!
My ex husband & I had a privately agreed child support arrangement when we divorced eight years ago.  I did well out of the divorce as he wanted to move to America to live with the lady he left me for.  He was set an amount to pay me each month, with an annual review in line with inflation.  I never followed up the annual after the first year when he refused to send me details of his salary.  I wanted to move on in my life too.  He reduced payments as our eldest daughter hit Sixth form college (as agreed within our divorce) and ceased paying me for her when she went to Uni four years ago.  He then reduced payments for our second daughter when she went to sixth form and ceased paying for her and my maintenance when she went to Uni last year.
Late last year, he contacted me telling me he has “ overpaid” me by £9000 and wants me to pay it back.
Do I HAVE to repay this?  I don’t have a spare 9k lying around!
HELP! 

Thrugelmir

One word reply. Tough. 

BAFE

hahahahahahahahah

No, just no.

That money is gone, spent.  And you don't have it to give him.  Let him do his worst.

poppy12345

Hmm yes, i think he's been dreaming and needs to wake up..

MalMonroe

I'd be tempted to ask him why he thinks that. And by the same token, you could tell him that you think he underpaid and you need £9k too, now you come to think of it. 

Doesn't matter whether your agreement was official or private, you did have an agreement and that's that. He can't come along now, 8 years later, wanting to change it retrospectively.

You've been raising your children alone while he's been elsewhere and that's no mean feat. You and your children deserve every single penny of that 'overpaid' £9k and more! (Can you tell that I've been in a similar situation?!) Tell him to 'go fish' (that very popular American card game).

Thrugelmir

MalMonroe said:

I'd be tempted to ask him why he thinks that. And by the same token, you could tell him that you think he underpaid and you need £9k too, now you come to think of it. 

Why debate the issue at all. Move on with your life. Time to leave the baggage of the past behind.