Is it a bad idea to quit a full time job for a temporary job because your job makes you unhappy?

Heliocentric

Hello,

I am a senior at work (I have been there for 5 years) and this is the highest position I have ever gained (i'm 40, I was a coaster in life). I am truly unhappy there. I was bullied by someone who himself had mental health issues. He was given time off and he returned a 'better' person but only for some time. He seems to be going back to how he was. He is emboldened by our manager who talks about me behind my back to the department he wants to impress (I caught him out on Teams). The manager is happy for me to be the 'fall guy' and to dismiss me for the sake of a laugh/gaining the respect of the other department. He was like this with me when I started in 2016 but then a new girl came along and he switched on her - he seems to need someone to make a 'target' - and she left as a result. He then turned on my former boss, finding fault with everything and then fired him at Christmas - he has 4 kids. Then it was back to me but he was a tad 'nicer' this time. In 1-2-1s he is also very different to how he is in a group. He's much kinder alone but I can't deal with the switching.

It doesn't help that he has favourites and I am at the bottom. The bully is no 2 and another girl is no 1. This is also reflected in our salaries - i'm on 27k, bully is 30k, favourite is 35k. We are all on the same level in terms of job title. He pretends that we are equal but treats us all differently. I have lost a serious amount of self esteem and confidence in this role and when I started I used to cry every day before going in but then "toughened up". I am much 'smaller' now, though, in the sense that I fear even speaking up in meetings. I am trying to find a new job with immense struggle and i'm finding it tricky to maintain the energy I need to keep applying for them too. I had a family tragedy this year and requested to go part time to 'recover' but that is temporary (my boss tried very hard to stop it happening at all but HR and head of dept. allowed it). It will be over in a month's time and I will have to return to my full time role.

My dream was to work part time to have enough money to cover the bills and to also have the time to start a small business (I worked on this during the later part of 2020 so it's almost ready to go). I also want to build a freelance career. As I am not making any progress with job-seeking for permanent part-time positions, I am considering finding a temporary job for around 6 months just to get out of this job. I have enough money to look after myself and my family for a year or more if need be but I don't want to be out of work for a long period of time. I am just desperate to get out. I need to be myself again and will probably need therapy after this experience.

I also feel ashamed because I wanted to be able to leave by showing my boss I am valued by another company in an even more senior position but it looks as if I won't be able to. In fact I will likely be working in a more junior position which also makes me worry about career prospects. I don't want to even tell him which company I would be working for anyway as he would find a way to put in a bad word or join in with the bully to make fun of where I am going to. He will be extremely angry at me if I hand in my notice and I wouldn't put it past him. I also have this weird feeling of not wanting to upset him. He has promoted me which I am grateful for but being the 'least respected' makes me feel as if he did me a really big favour and I feel ashamed about that too as if I am an imposter and lucky to be where I am.

What would you do in this position?

Sorry for the essay.

Thanks,

Brie

Been there, done that and I left. 

Some people are highly employable as temps and use that to their advantage.  I know one ex colleague who for the last 15 years has worked 4 - 6 month contracts and then taking a couple of months off before starting the next one.  He was always enthusiastic as a new employee so the employers love him and he's never bored as it's always new scenery, new friends.  And if he finds it's not really him, well it's only for a couple of months.  He'll finish whatever work he has signed up for and then move on to something else.

Too many people are too frightened to move.  Better to move and maintain your happiness and mental well being then suffer needlessly.  

Good luck with the job hunt!!!

Heliocentric

Thank you for the response, Brie and the best wishes. I need it!

What your friend does sounds ideal. I guess he is confident he will always be hired? Does he do a 'niche' job or is it along the lines of administration?

TELLIT01

You are clearly very unhappy where you are so I think your best plan of action is to take the other job.  In the short term a step down the ladder, hopefully with less stress too, will do you no harm.  There may be the opportunity to progress with the new company, or you could simply use it as a stepping stone to another job.

Don't burn bridges with your current employer, just hand your notice in and leave.  You don't have to explain your reasons for leaving.

MovingForwards

I quit a well paid job as I couldn't stand the unrealistic expectations / lack of training and support to do the job / the work / people and walked into a temp job a few days later, built up my confidence again while temping and then got another permanent job the day I was told the temp role was ending.

If I get fed up in a role I do revert to temping for a while and evaluate where I'm going next.

After I've paid the mortgage off I'm looking to either temp as and when or work PT.

josephine82

I was in a job I didn’t love and was so unhappy. Worked for someone who didn’t treat me well. Took a sideways step to a different role with a slight pay cut and never looked back. 

Life is too short to stay somewhere where you are unhappy. 

Take a chance and move on… you won’t regret it! 

yksi

I had a job which made me miserable despite the great pay. It just wasn't the job that was promised. I left without anything lined up and quickly found a new job. It too wasn't what was promised! This one was less stressful though and I negotiated with the boss to drop the parts of the job that weren't what I had wanted to do, leaving me with a 2-days-pw position that didn't pay the bills but that I could mentally cope with for my sanity. By this point I'd burned through all my savings and finances looked bleak.

So I applied for a second job at a supermarket (9hpw temporary contract). 2 months later Covid hit and the first job furloughed the whole business. I found myself working 40-50hpw at the supermarket because I was a free agent and happy to earn the money while I could. And more importantly I loved it. The people were great, the job was varied and the perks were good. Completely unexpectedly I might add.

When the first restrictions lifted the first job tried to get me back. I resigned.

Within 9 months I was made permanent, and at 14 months I got promoted to full-time junior management.

Sometimes when you take the leap of faith, disaster turns into something even better than before.

Marcon

Heliocentric said:

 I have enough money to look after myself and my family for a year or more if need be but I don't want to be out of work for a long period of time. I am just desperate to get out. I need to be myself again and will probably need therapy after this experience.

Then why are you even asking the question here? Read your own post and you've surely got your answer?

Go ahead and do it...and the very best of luck.

oh_really

Lifes too short to be miserable, move onward and upwards.

That aside you need to learn to deal with such thing in working life or the same situation is likely to keep repeating, either develop resiliance or learn to fight back.

Mrsn

OP given everything you’ve explained in your post in your shoes I wouldn’t hesitate to be changing the situation. As has been said above life is far too short and precious to make your self miserable every single day. You will not look back once you have made the leap....

Rosa_Damascena

Marcon said:

Heliocentric said:

 I have enough money to look after myself and my family for a year or more if need be but I don't want to be out of work for a long period of time. I am just desperate to get out. I need to be myself again and will probably need therapy after this experience.

Then why are you even asking the question here? Read your own post and you've surely got your answer?

Go ahead and do it...and the very best of luck.

The OP has had their self-confidence knocked out of them over the course of years, I can't blame them for their indecision. We know what's best but its a very scary step if there's no guarantee of an adequate income / progression.