Pay for the future and not the past

MissRikkiC

It’s worth thinking about @KajiKita because it’s frustrating. I’m also very impatient and an ‘act now’ kind of person but in my defence there is usually a series of thing which are preventing the one thing from happening or looking better and as a result we wait a long time to see the end result because there are various things to be done/sorted/purchased (etc etc) to get us there so when I spy the chance, I do go into attack mode and it’s dealt with there and then. That probably doesn’t help because I therefore except a similar level of enthusiasm and drive and it isn’t there. I am used to that, but doesn’t stop me getting annoyed by it. 

I’m certain and could bet my house on a number of things that if they didn’t get dealt with by me, they wouldn’t ever get dealt with. Even if I made the path to doing so, the most simple ever. 

I’m grateful he is a fantastic husband and father otherwise because I can therefore just swallow the lack of get up and go with regards to getting stuff done. Still gets on my nerves though. 

MissRikkiC

So I intended on purchasing another ikea unit this week but I decided not to in the end. The 1 we picked up from FBMP is doing the job nicely and helping keep stuff in its place.  We will eventually want another but for now it was £40 well spent. 

This week has been really busy with work but I still had the usual Monday morning lag. I think I need to connect with somebody first thing to give me a spark. 

It’s been half term so the children had 1 day in nursery, 1 with my MiL and 2 with Dad as I couldn’t take anytime this week and had to swap my Friday. The Friday I swapped with the previous Thursday and hub and I spent the day together whilst the children were still in nursery. We had been saving £25 from our personal spends since December last year and so had a glorious day, lunch and a drink or 2 out, a nosey around the shops and a Thai massage together. It was SUCH a needed day for us 2. And there is still money left in the pot for next time 😌 

In MS talk, I did a rubbish job on our first shop of the month at Sainsburyz. I thought my nectar card was added and so would get the benefit of their offers, some purchases made were only because of the offers and it wasn’t. Ended up costing an extra £9 for beer which wasn’t budgeted for from the grocerys pot at all but had to come from there as the beer fund was empty on account of the expected cost already being paid for from there. Then to top it off I some how managed to buy 4 shower gels (750ml bottles) instead of 1 and I hardly use the stuff anyway! So all on all an extra £15 spent than what I had intended which made me cross. That said, I did have to just hit check out on my basket at 830pm on the Friday before it was due on the Saturday as I had already nodded off on the sofa twice. Probably explains why I now have a years supply of shower gel now upstairs! 

Food wise we didn’t get a veg box last week and managed with what we had, plus a few bits from the shops as I was already there for some things. Because we made the switch to Rford, I can tell the difference in shop bought but it was better than buying a whole box when I hadn’t used up what we had in. As a result of not using Abel and Cowl for a few weeks they’ve sent a 50% off voucher so we are having the biggest of their boxes next week which will cost the usual price of what we have from RF. We will revert back next week as I really do prefer them and their produce. 

Sourdough loaves have started being perfect at home. I realised what was preventing them from being so great before, I was missing the salt! Doh! 😉 
2 a week is plenty. 

Must meal plan this week. Actually I’ll do that now whilst hub tends to the BBQ 😋

Blackcats

I often go up to the wire on the online shopping checkout deadline.  The online shopping I do is for my dad and I will usually book the delivery slot and fill the basket with high cost goods in order to reach the minimum spend and secure the slot and then go back in later to do the actual shopping.  When last year's Christmas delivery dates were released I nipped in and added 1 bottle of Bollinger to the basket and checked out.  Luckily I remembered to remove it and do a proper shop.  Although the champagne would have helped with creating a merry Christmas 🥂

jokono

It's been a while since I did an online shop with Sainz, but isn't the card comnected to your account? Or do you check out as a guest? (If that even is an option 🤔)

Day out sounds nice, we need to book something for the summer when MIL visits. She stays over 2 times a year, Easter and summer holiday, but this year she didn't do Easter. We're way behind on adult days out.

MissRikkiC

I sometimes do that as well @Blackcats especially during the peak seasons. I was really to the wire this time and generally always am, it’s no use having 11:45 on a Friday for me as the cut off as usually I’m asleep watching gardeners world by 830 😂 

Yes it usually is however I think it was connected on line and not on the app. I’ve fixed it now but it annoyed me at the time. 

Feeling a bit rubbish and mentally switched off already today. It’s not even 9am on a Monday which doesn’t bode well but sitting having coffee before I start work and not doing much is helping. 

Over the weekend we visited some friends for brunch which we tend to do once every 6-8 weeks and it was the first time, with the children, that it had been relaxed. Like really relaxed and everyone was happy. I didn’t have to feed anyone, I didn’t have to abruptly stop what I was doing to stop anything bad happening, we could all chat, eat delicious pancakes and drink coffee and it really was heavenly. I must remember this occasion as they’re rare and it felt like such a nice time. 

Garden wise I have given everything a really good water, over the weekend, probably more than needed but they’re mostly established plants now anyway so should be fine.

I’ve bought some strulch and used that on the strawberries and brassicas. It’s great on the strawberries as I’m able to actually see where I could allow runners to establish whereas before it just was a mass of green. I even had my first strawberry which was SO good. There are plenty more on their way to being ripe, likely this coming week so the children will be pleased. The sheep’s wood has been doing a great job at defending the plants too, I finally got around to just making little halos rather than big sheets of wool, which along with the strulch is great. 

I planted out courgettes and sweetcorn. I didn’t end up doing the sweetcorn in containers in the end as only had 2 which had lasted. 

I purchased a wysteria tree for the front of the house from Suttons which was planted last week and bagged the 39 plants for free deal they do at the same time. These were all potted on this weekend and will go into a border on the front lawn when I finally get chance to dig it! The tree/plant is only small so wil be a few years before it’s looking like I want but I’ve wanted one for a long time. 

I’ve shown more pakchoi, some snap peas (as my daughter calls them) and fed everything too. The cucumber (I think) seedlings didn’t enjoy the feed at all but don’t seem to have died yet. I thought they would be okay given they’re all with true leaves etc but never mind. 

Hopeful that the garden will start booming soon as other than a bit of sorrel and a few spring greens, we aren’t getting much from it yet! 

MissRikkiC

In money news I’ve taken £2.52 current account interest and £6.75 cashback from spending to the CC OP pot.  Still awaiting £200 from hub and £100 which will be from the nationwide fairer share scheme and then I will just pay it all over. Just need to remember that I need to take £40 out of the pot before then to replace the cash withdrawn for the trofast unit. 

QueenJess

I'm behind in ready diaries at the moment, but your posts sound exactly how I felt when DD was that age.  It's so hard when the sleep isn't there and they can't entertain themselves/be left alone for 5 mins.

I don't know that I have any particular advice, but I would do anything that makes your life temporarily even a tiny bit better.  Even if it means an extra 5 mins in bed it all counts.  In terms of stuff, it drove me crazy.  My parents kept all my toys and books (and my sister's) from when we were kids and I'm the only one with kids (so guess where all that goes...).  Plus we have the only children on both sides and grandparents tend to go a bit mad with buying stuff no matter how many times I try to talk to them about it.

One day I decided I'd had enough of it all and I took almost all the furniture out of DD's room only leaving a wardrobe with drawers under it and her cot.  I then added in a Kallax unit.  All her toys and books need to fit in it (although full disclosure, she also has a couple of cupboards shared with DS downstairs with their shared toys like saucepans, play food etc and a soft bag for cuddly toys).  I left only what I thought she used, then got rid of some stuff she never used and boxed the rest up for the attic.  I've been slowly going through the stuff in the attic by rotating it in and out of what she has out now, which has been also highlighting what she never uses and it's been leaving the house.  I use the local Buy Nothing site as it's low effort... I put things on the doorstep in a bag and they disappear.  I even got rid of the extra furniture.  Even if DD pulls out all her toys and books, I can put them back in order in 10-15 mins.  Plus she plays with them instead of just getting everything out like she used to and she has the ability to put all her stuff away herself.  DH thought I was a bit mad, but went with it (probably was too scared to get in my way with the little sleep I was getting!).  He does agree it is a million times better now!

I have loads more books for DD and some more for DS, but I find both get overwhelmed with too many out.  I have a limited selection with the rest boxed up hidden under some armchairs.  Every now and again I swap some out that haven't been read for a while and put some new ones in.  I usually also find the odd few to go.

I now survive by being completely ruthless with stuff and DS has learnt from me and is fab at decluttering (he's 6 now).  It's just not possible to keep on top of everything plus have a full time (or even part time job).  Something has to go and I refuse to spend my time picking up stuff/putting things away if I can use it doing something else.  We also don't buy the kids much unless they are really lacking something like colouring pencils.  DD doesn't need anything (she's 2) and DS knows if he wants toys outside of xmas/birthday he has to use his own pocket money for that.

I agree with @Bluegreen143 - the kids don't really need many toys as they are perfectly happy stamping in puddles, picking daisies, poking around with sticks, playing with stones/pebbles in our garden and running up and down steps and hills.

MissRikkiC

 @QueenJess I remember reading your posts from silly hours in the morning when you were feeding your little one, which feels like it was recent but if shes 2 now it cant have been! Thanks for such a lovely response too. It feels never ending.

We had a beautiful morning last sunday with friends and when everyone has slept well, it truly is blissful, the children are wonderful company and its exactly how you'd imagine. But its SO infrequent that that happens at this stage. My boy has had a cold since last week and hasnt been sleeping, i think id had about 6 hours sleep over nights last week and we had a better night at the weekend but last night was back to the same. Its such a challenge to see past it, even though we literally only just experienced a lovely morning and a better night of sleep; its so easily lost and not sounding like a broken record is becoming more and more difficult. 

I love your approach to decluttering. I did that exact thing with (grim) bath toys last week as id had enough of them cluttering the entire bathroom and obviously also just got rid of the sofa bed in my daughters room. Im going to try and do the same again with 'stuff' this week as whilst the downstairs is now better than it was, the upstairs needs some focus. 

Due to having cleared space in the conservatory/playroom/soon to be utility room we were able to have the tri-climb and slide out yesterday which the children loved for best part of an hour whilst dinner was being cooked. Result. 

I totally agree with you both @QueenJess and @Bluegreen143 its just that we are in a tricky age stage i think with my 1 year old so whilst he is happy to occupy himself, because he isnt quite walking yet, i dont feel i can just leave him to potter. My daughter is almost at the age where she would be happy to play with a stick in a puddle or roll down hills etc so we are getting there, i can see the light. 

This weekend i suggested to my OH a walk (which id seed planted about last weekend) for a few hours with both children to explore the local fields/woods etc. Its the type of stuff i used to just do by myself if the need struck but now i have to try and rope everyone else in as its deemed a break We did a 5k loop through soggy wet wheat fields and farm land, into woods, over walls and farm gates with both children in a sling or carrier. We did have to stop a number of times to get snacks out of the bag, to swap the children over as my eldest was grumbling but the dog was having the best time bounding through the crops, we spotted a number of animals and wild flowers and it was a lovely morning out. Having rushed back for lunch, then on to swimming, then to our friends and back home, its unsurprising that we're all tired today (and that my hips ACHE!) but it was well worth it. 

I forgot to cancel our A&C box friday so this morning another giant box of veg arrived and swallowed up another £23 of our groceries budget leaving just £14 in the pot for the next fortnight! Whoops. Its not a huge problem, meals will be very veggie and a lot will go into meals for the freezer but £14 feels tight to last a fortnight!

Ive reviewed banking today and have made 2 decisions. 1 is that where the minimum payments are now lower than they were in the past, ive not updated my cashflow statement to show that and so when the payments are made, its leaving pounds and pennies in the account. This often gets used as over payment money anyway but im going to update the MP values instead and 'pay myself first' in that i will earmark those funds for actually being an OP rather than only maybe using them for that. 
Secondly, in the sense of paying myself first, i am going to review June-Decembers budget and realign our spends to see what additional scope there is for OPing. Not every penny is being thrown at the CCs and thats okay, but i think we can eak out a little more regardless. 

Finally money wise, we are moving my son to a floor bed to see if it helps him settle any easier, so the new mattress  have just purchased came from the Christmas pot at £65. I will be increasing our Christmas budgetary amount between now and November to account for this. 

MissRikkiC

It’s was a better week last week. I can’t remember if I wrote about the floor bed idea for my boy so that I could feed him and roll away and climb back into my own bed in a bid to get more sleep. We were kindly gifted the bed from another mum so just purchased a new mattress. It’s always hard to tell if it’s coincidence or not with these things, but my boy slept so much better from Friday. Saturday night he even slept the whole night without a wake which is a first!! But naps and bed time have been in his bed and thankfully it seems to have helped. 

Everyone suggested I must feel like a new woman on Sunday…… erm no. Not quite since I’ve gone a year without a decent night sleep and 1 night doesn’t really fix that. But we have made progress so I’m happy. 

Our weekend was nice, bbq Saturday night for just me and OH and then swimming and a walk around some gardens yesterday before we got a bit wet! Money wise it wasn’t awful, we have bust our budget this month, likely on account of forgetting to cancel the A&C box (which annoyingly I’ve done again!) but also because we had a few bigger costs like washing powder and loo rolls all the in the same month. 

Last week we revisited the garage after the engine light came back following its service to the told OHs car needs a ERG(v?) valve however the car won’t die without one. He said we could replace it or can remap the car and it tells the car to ignore the fact it has a ERG value and bypass it which makes me think that actually it’s not necessary anyway. I’ve done some googling but can’t find a straight answer to need to keep re looking. However, we did get the aircon regassed after 1 summer without and that swallowed up the nationwide payment we received. Thankfully we had a little otherwise in various pots which I emptied but couldn’t have afforded it without emptying a pot we do need without that extra £100 so thanks to NW. Out with my plans to overpay on my CC though. It’s never ending however as the MOT is also due 1st July! Pretty annoying to have so much car spends and then for OH to remark over the weekend that we don’t have much of a fun budget this month 😠 

I potted on all but 1 tomato and had to mostly guess which were cordon vs bush 😖 I could do with some more compost now as I still have more veg seedlings to pot on however would really like some more containers too. I walked around the raised beds today and they’re actually all coming on really well. I think I’ve space left in 1 for some chard and possibly another cucumber but otherwise It’ll have to be containers! 

At the weekend I totally stripped back a sorrel plant that was growing so well and we had a really simple pasta dish with the sorrel pan fried in garlic and rosemary  and it was delicious. My husband didn’t believe me that there wasn’t lemon in there as it was just so strong from the sorrel; I’m so glad I discovered that this year. 

I’ve booked today off with the children and OH both in nursery and work and I’m so looking forward to it. I have so much to sort at home but also kind of want to lie around and do v little 🤪 hmm

MissRikkiC

Watching GW and the lovely lady, Mrs Salmon has melted my heart. Married for over 70 years and so open and honest talking (briefly) of why she started gardening and it was just lovely to listen to and watch. 

A hectic week/weekend with too much to share, but the take away was that our neighbour is selling their house. I was extremely surprised at their valuation and it got me thinking about ours and the plans we had for the next couple of years. I’ve also been pondering our plans for a few months as to if they were right or the most sensible option but this week allowed me/us to firm our plans up for definite. If we want to move to the house size/price we expect to be able to, next, then currently our affordability calculations don’t match up or allow for that to happen. Likely because we have childcare costs, credit cards and a car on finance (husbands and nothing really to do with me) but I didn’t think these would be an issue given we could afford the mortgage payments at 5 times what we pay now however the lenders want more from us. 

So the plan of a few house jobs and the rest of spare cash being thrown at the credit card is still the plan. Our broker advised us that if we clear the cards, it will open up a little more on the affordability which will help get us closer to what we want. I’d also prefer not to be at the top of our lending capacity so whatever we can do will help. 

It might seem clear that this was the best option, to clear debt and reduce costs but I also didn’t know if due to 0% debt, actually overpaying the mortgage would be better etc. It’s nice to have a plan reaffirmed by someone in the know and I feel much better about it now too.