Bankruptcy feelings

Deniseee83

Hay 

so recently made bankrupt 6/2/21 the initial feeling of relief I had was overwhelming disbelief that I actually did it and now debts can’t chase me call me email me all day long. When I did answer the phone and they checked the register they apologised and the calls stopped it was so strange and I felt relief for the first time in 3yrs, 

then the last couple of days I’ve hit a low I feel so rubbish like ashamed and disappointed in myself and scared, I feel like I’m pointless 
I’m 38 a mum to 3 and my debts was due to a divorce and being left with debts I couldn’t maintain payments on as my ex husband paid most of everything, 

I honestly assumed this was the starting point of a better future debt free and not scared 

I wasn’t expecting the emotion of low and upset to come after the high? 

Is this strange. 

luvchocolate

Hi..your emotions will be all over the place at the moment. 
I can honestly say I didn't relax until discharge. 
Please be kind to yourself things will get better 

Sonic101

Deniseee83 said:

Hay 

so recently made bankrupt 6/2/21 the initial feeling of relief I had was overwhelming disbelief that I actually did it and now debts can’t chase me call me email me all day long. When I did answer the phone and they checked the register they apologised and the calls stopped it was so strange and I felt relief for the first time in 3yrs, 

then the last couple of days I’ve hit a low I feel so rubbish like ashamed and disappointed in myself and scared, I feel like I’m pointless 
I’m 38 a mum to 3 and my debts was due to a divorce and being left with debts I couldn’t maintain payments on as my ex husband paid most of everything, 

I honestly assumed this was the starting point of a better future debt free and not scared 

I wasn’t expecting the emotion of low and upset to come after the high? 

Is this strange. 

Hi 
Please don't feel ashamed. You are single mum doing your best in really difficult circumstances. Some people bury their heads in the sands for a long time or run away from things - you didn't, you faced up to them. 

 Right now with the COVID crisis and lots of other depressing things, I think the world feels like a bit of a crap place for most people, it certainly does for me.  

I've also found that sometimes when you take a big step you get a sort of initial rush of adrenaline, then there is a sort of come-down and you think, is that is? 

Hang on in there. 

Deniseee83

Thank you so much I do feel a bit better today x 

zoebeth

It is a big build up to the decision to go BR, and afterwards, as well as being relieved, you also have to start the longer term adjustment of living with what you’ve got and not relying on credit. I found this hard to get used to.

It does get better, I’m not ashamed to tell anyone that I’m a previous BR it was the right decision for me at the time and anything is better than drowning in debt.

You’ve taken the difficult step and now you just need to go easy on yourself while you adjust to the new normal. Keep your chin up 😊

MalMonroe

Hi, just to say I agree with what others have said. I had a DRO a few years ago and it's very similar to bankruptcy. It was discharged after a year and stayed on my credit report for 6. But I'm older than you and I felt I should have known better and felt ashamed. But like you I had also been through a divorce and I had a child to raise and my income more than halved when my husband left. It's a big shock all round. Marriage breakdown and divorce are bad enough and then you have debts to contend with plus struggling to keep yourself and children fed and clothed and housed. You did the best you could and as others have said, be kind to yourself.

You shouldn't feel any shame and others shouldn't judge you either. As Sonic101 says, Covid is not helping either right now.

You said - "I felt relief for the first time in 3yrs" - and that's what you should focus on. 

You're only young yet and have lots to look forward to with your family. 

It's good to see that you are feeling better today, hope it continues. All best wishes, you can do this. x

sourcrates

Thing is, it’s only money, if this last couple of years has taught us anything, it’s that all the rubbish that goes with everyday life, is, well, just rubbish.

Your health and well-being is what is important, everything else is just a sideshow, you have taken a responsible approach to deal with your debts, that part of your life is now over, and you should be proud of yourself for doing that.

Don’t fret about your feelings, your creditors certainly won’t be, look forward to your debt free future, and your life after lockdown has finally ended.

That is your future. 

adoption

This is a very similar situation, I understand how difficult it is

TVAS

Take responsibility for your actions, learn from them but do not continually beat yourself up about it, you simply do not have the time for this self flagellating. It is not helpful to you or anyone else. You have 3 kids, and you need the rebuild your finances. After you have been discharged from Bankruptcy could you start a business from home? Do you have any skills you could monetise?