Child's rent and board

Danny65

Hi, my son is 18yrs old, doing an aprentiship, where he is at college one day a week and working with a mechanic the other 4 days a week, he takes home £950 a month.
He pays £140 a month for room and board etc, I feel this isn't enough as it costs me about £110 a month just for his food and that doesn't include the washing detergents, cleaning stuff and general household items. 
He makes me feel awful when I say he should pay a bit more.
Can anyone advise me what he should be paying?
Regards.

cattie

He must have an enormous appetite if he gets through £110's worth of food each month!  You don't say what other expenses your son might have, costs of travel to work etc. but the parents of many children just starting out on their working life only charge them a basic amount to help towards household costs.

However your son is  getting a very good deal indeed if he is currently paying you the equivalent of £35 per week all in on his income & it wouldn't be unreasonable to suggest he starts to pay at least £200 per month, increasing as his income increases. He'd be hard pushed to even find a room share for £50 per week, let alone food &  other incidentals such as washing, toilet paper etc included. It doesn't do any harm for adult children to discover how costly it can be to keep a home going as they will need to stand on their own 2 feet at some future point.

WYSPECIAL

What is your disposable income after everything is paid for? If his only other cost is travel to work he may well have more money left n his back pocket than you do.

Go through that with him and teach him about money. It may avoid you having a 28 year old looking like they will never leave in a decades time and thinking it’s still ok to pay a token amount.

Edi81

I think £250 would be a better amount. Anything extra that you don’t spend can be kept aside and given to him when he does move out. 

At least he’s paying something but he needs to learn his expensive a home is. 

The alternative is that he takes you for the big shop and pays for that once in a while in addition to what he’s paying. 

maisie_cat

We used 25% of take home pay in our family including part time jobs in 6th form. It might depend on what he does around the house as well. 

Martin_the_Unjust

Just like to add that at 18 he’s an adult not a child and should be paying his way and doing his share. 

TELLIT01

Very simple - tell him if he doesn't like what you want him to pay, find somewhere he can get for less and move there.    I agree with other comments that it should be around 25% of his take home.  He needs to learn the value of money and the cost of living. He will still have around £700 per month just to spend on himself - not bad at 18!

superbigal

You tell him what you want.  It could be £950 a month.  If he doesn't like it show him the door.

poppy12345

My daughter left college in January because of her health condition and claimed Universal Credit, with a fit note because she's unable to work. She's 20 and receives £342 per month UC as well as her full PIP of £605 every 4 weeks. I take £250 per month from her, which will increase if her UC increases once she's been assessed because of her health condition.

My thoughts are that if she lived anywhere else then her bills would be so much more. You need to teach them bills need to be paid and they can't just keep all the money they receive for theirself. She has no idea of the value of money because she has a learning disability but this doesn't mean bills don't have to be paid.

spiro

In the area I live a room in an HMO would cost him between £350 and £550 per month plus he has all the costs on top. As he is taking home nearly £1k, then £250pm is very reasonable. As others have said if he doesn't like it tell it's time to start flat hunting. At some point he needs to realise how much it costs to livemand he won't do that if you are subsidising him too much.

Spoonie_Turtle

For a couple of generations in my family it's been one third of our income (the ideal being a third to spend, a third to save, a third for housekeeping).  Of course if a third wasn't enough when our income was very low (e.g. when unemployed with JSA as our only income) we paid half. 

But setting a proportion might be fair to deal with any future income changes, with a set minimum for how much you actually need - and any excess above the minimum would obviously help towards general upkeep and any unexpected household expenses.

With his wage he certainly shouldn't be struggling for money if you charge him more!  And if he does struggle, he would clearly have a desperate need to learn how to manage his money.  This definitely needs to be an adult conversation with actual figures and he needs to see that you're not being greedy or mean, that he actually does need to fairly pay his way.