Time to wake up and smell the coffee!

browneyed_girl

Hi @Abbafan1972  I’ve just recently restarted posting on here and saw your diary.  Sorry that you’re feeling alone in your journey.  I can see that you’ve made some fantastic progress, even though the decision to opt for a DMP must have seemed very overwhelming and scary at the time (and probably still does!).

I’ve sometimes struggled with motivation whilst battling debt, and whilst DH is wonderful in many ways, it’s really only recently that he’s grasped the full extent of our financial situation and made his own plans to help tackle it together.  Before this, I was solely in charge of finances and found myself stressing over spreadsheets, feeling as though I was always nagging DH to check on CC balances, make payments on time and implement lifestyle changes to save money.

Though I have no personal experience of Stepchange, from reading other people’s diaries, I understand them to be very supportive.  I hope that your experience is the same.

I’ll be following your diary and keeping up to date on your progress, so if you ever feel alone in this, know that I’m cheering you on from the sidelines! x

peb

There's a DMP Support thread on the main Debt free wannabe board which you may find useful.

ratrace

Hi just read your dairy, you have done a great job so far, keep it up

Can i ask do you need such an expensive car, can you not sell it and buy one a lot cheaper and pay most of the finance off that would free up some cash also get you out of debt sooner. it makes little sense having it when all its doing all day is being sat in a office car park losing money.

Blackcats

Hello Abbafan 

I think many of us here recognise the pattern of continuous debt from continuous spending.  I spent many, many years in debt and just didn't learn my lesson.  I can't even remember most of the stuff I bought 🤷‍♀️.

I'm now debt free and, dare I say it, I'm becoming a saver which still surprises me.  

I use my diary to keep me accountable, track my progress and have some chats along the way.  There are some friendly and wise people here.  Try to keep posting regularly - that's how we get to know each other - the day to day lives we lead are lovely to read about.

Abbafan1972

ratrace said:

Hi just read your dairy, you have done a great job so far, keep it up

Can i ask do you need such an expensive car, can you not sell it and buy one a lot cheaper and pay most of the finance off that would free up some cash also get you out of debt sooner. it makes little sense having it when all its doing all day is being sat in a office car park losing money.

Hi ratrace , thanks for your reply.

Just to clarify - I'm not the driver, my husband uses the car to get to work, as his place of work is difficult to get to by public transport.  You can go on the train, but it would take forever and he drives a van (environmental company) and he's back quite late sometimes in the day, so doesn't want to be waiting around for trains.  I work from home, so don't have any travel expenses at the moment.  Even travelling into the office wouldn't be a problem, as it's easily accessible by bus. 

We had a Ford Focus before on finance from Evans Halshaw, I can't remember the full details but the finance they sold us, the monthly payment was quite cheap (£160) but there was a clause in it where you would have to make a payment of £4,000 at the end of it. I can't remember exactly.  When we changed to this one (Ford Mondeo, 67 plate), we don't have such a payment but the monthly payment is higher.  I know it was a mistake, but that was the car he wanted.  What's done is done I guess.

With regards to selling the car - I don't know how much this car is worth and I don't want to text that "we buy any car" or anything, as no doubt I will get spammed to the hilt with messages. Even if the selling price of the car covered all of the finance, then hubby would be without a car to get to work and there would be no funds immediately available to get a replacement.

That's why he is getting that pension money in April to pay off the finance that's left and then he will have the option to sell it and the proceeds will be ours.  I know that this car is losing money left right and centre because of the mileage, hubby does 50 miles a day getting to and from work.   There was a stage where he was allowed to bring the van home and go to and from work in that, but he's not allowed to any more. 

Speak to you all soon. x

Abbafan1972

Some very strange post arrived today....it came in a mailing bag.  When I opened it, it contained a letter from the Halifax, who we took our mortgage out with and it was all the paperwork they were holding on our house.  Some date back to 1966.  It says in the accompanying letter that we are not required to keep it, but can pass it onto a purchaser if we wish. 

There are the plans for the kitchen extension that was done in the early 90's, plus there is also an extension for a property address that isn't ours and the drawing doesn't match, so suspect they've put that one in by mistake. 

There is even also a copy of a death certificate of a previous owner. 

We have only been discussing the mortgage recently and hopefully moving some time in the future, so hopefully this is a good omen!

savingmore

hello...i have caught your diary and read.  i agree with above poster, if you want encouragement and support, it’s best to give as many details as you can, and post regularly.  it’s the regular posters that i follow.  How about doing a state of affairs? soa.   you can find a form for them on forums, it really helps to see what income and each expense is, and you will get good advice from folk.  there is plenty of scope for reducing every area, whether on dmp or not.  for instance, £71 is high for tv and bb....you can reduce this.  if you are serious about getting rid of debt, you, as i am sure you know, have to weigh up short term pain for long term gain...it’s worth it!  i will follow, but please post regularly and see what a difference it will make to your level of determination and support. keep going!

Abbafan1972

Thanks for your reply.  I am not sure if we can reduce the Sky bill, it has been reduced many times - at one point we were paying £120 a month!  Sky is always an on-going battle, as hubby won't get rid off it.  I could quite happily live without it and just have broadband.  I could do without the Sky channels, we have Netflix and there's a lot of stuff to watch on the catch up services if you miss anything.  I am not a great tv watcher and don't really get the benefit of it to be honest, things get recorded and I hardly ever watch them. I can try and mention it, but it always seems like I'm having a dig.  If I was to say to hubby what you've just said above that it's expensive for TV and BB, hubby would say "have you been posting on that forum" (he doesn't know about this thread) and he doesn't always like being told what to do where Sky is concerned and I'm "having a go" if I mention it.  If I was able to, I would ring them myself, but the account is in his name. Hey-ho, I will have to try at some point. 

We had a discussion about the car last night.  He will change it in a couple of years or so, for something cheaper to run.  Our Focus was good on fuel and the car tax was only £20 a year, whereas this one is £156 a year and a bit more heavy on the fuel.  I know he will want to sell this one before the mileage gets too high and becomes worthless. I said he will need to research all of that properly first before deciding what to have, even down to how much the insurance will cost!

I will see if can do a SOA, I done one before and I don't find it very easy to be honest. 

Speak soon x 

ETA:- here is a breakdown of our Sky bill for TV and BB. 

warby68

Husband seems to have pitched his spends at levels a bit out of proportion to his income which is relatively low even with overtime, the car, the Sky etc. However I suspect that's always been the case and perhaps both of you were a little the same too. Its going to be a hard change and perhaps a case of picking battles if you are now on different pages. The car is probably the bigger one here but we might get more ideas with a SoA. 

If you find it hard doing the SoA, does the Stepchange input help you? You must have provided quite a lot of information there.

I know this is going back to your earlier thread but did you ever get a handle on your grocery bill? There is lots of help/suggestions available for that if you haven't and at the time it was a notable 'outlier'

savingmore

i would encourage you to spend the time doing an soa. if you want support and encouragement, it’s the most effective way for others to do that and make meaningful contributions.   you can do it!