Ex husband wants more nights so can get support payments

Diane6879

Hi
I am mother to my 15 year old son. I am separated and will be divorcing my husband (his father).
I moved out of the family home 18 months ago. We are trying to resolve finances and the subject of child care has come around. My son has remained in the family home, but spends weekends with me. I would like to share the care 50/50. 
My husband is vehemently against this ostensibly because he believes it will upset my son’s routine, but in reality it is because he knows that this will mean I am then not obliged to pay child maintenance. For context, my son is well balanced, doing well at school, the school is within easy walking distance of both homes. I have a decent job, a nice (if heavily mortgaged) home, I have no convictions, I am a trustee for a couple of charities, I raised my son and daughter (now 19 years) very well while I was still in the family home, doing the brunt of the housework, cooking etc.
So my questions are:
1. On what grounds, if any, can he refuse shared care? And how can I force his hand, given that he won’t be persuaded. Does this have to involve the courts?
2. Can he make a claim for historical child support? My googling indicates not, or at least only from the date a claim is lodged with the CMS.
3. Is the government child support calculator a mandated amount or can we agree something different?
4. How do his earnings get factored in? The calculator considers mine but seems to take no account of his, nor that he is mortgage free and I am not etc. 

Final point, rather than a question... I think the government calculator is a blunt tool. It considers nights when actually the cost of raising a child is more about what they do/eat during the day! It is predicated on the paying parent’s earnings and not the cost of raising the child. And the difference between having a child with you 3 nights a week or 4 nights is to go form a chunky payment to paying nothing. 

Any thoughts or advice appreciated. 

pmduk

Perhaps you should both start considering what your son needs and wants, rather than getting one over on each other (which is how it is coming across.)

comeandgo

Your son is 15, what does he want?

unforeseen

Take your original post and swap over father and mother. There are already a number of posts on this forum that have discussed it.
And the normal/only reason, no matter how it gets dressed up, is that the NRP wants to reduce CMS payments as yours appears to be. 

theoretica

You have something that has been in place for the last 18 months - does your son want this to change? 

TELLIT01

To the best of my understanding, there is no such thing as 50/50 shared childcare as far as benefit entitlement is concerned.  One or other parent will always be considered to be the 'main carer' and will receive the benefit.  Your personal history has no bearing on any of this and, as others have suggested, little consideration for what is best for you son seems to have been given.  Moving between houses mid-week could affect his schooling as one example.

ZaSa1418

1. On what grounds, if any, can he refuse shared care? And how can I force his hand, given that he won’t be persuaded. Does this have to involve the courts? 

What does your son want? A court is long and unlikely to be worth the money as it would only last until 16. (unless he is vulnerable) 

2. Can he make a claim for historical child support? My googling indicates not, or at least only from the date a claim is lodged with the CMS.

No he can not. 

3. Is the government child support calculator a mandated amount or can we agree something different?

You can come to a private agreement if you can agree.

4. How do his earnings get factored in? The calculator considers mine but seems to take no account of his, nor that he is mortgage free and I am not etc. 

They don't. 

What does your son want to do? How far is your home away from where your son lives? 
Even in 50/50 cases the person who claims the child benefit can apply for maintenance. 

es5595

Your son is 15 so it will depend entirely on what he wants. I imagine he is quite settled and happy with the current setup, but his wishes override either parents wish to pay less maintenance. 

You are correct, maintenance is payable from the day it is lodged with the CMS, not before, and cannot be back dated. 

It is also assumed that the resident parent does all/the vast majority on the child admin; arranging dentist appointments, after-school clubs, etc. It is very difficult to split this up, which is why you can never have true 50:50 shared care. One parent seems to always take on significantly more.