When the hell will I learn?

dae14867

From the outside it looks as though I am doing ok, a decent house and car and one nice holiday a year, the inside story is very different. 
I am in my early 50's, fit & healthy and earn a decent salary of £55k. 
Unfortunately, due to my poor relationship with money from a very early age, I have never been responsible enough to of had a mortgage and currency pay through the nose for a rented house. 
In the late 90's I was declared bankrupt to the tune of £30k and for a similar amount in the early 2000's. Around the same time I had approximately £20k worth of debt written off by the company I was a director of at the time. More recently I entered into a debt relief order in 2018 for £18k (which is now discharged) but have managed to accrue about £24k's worth of debt in my, my wife and also my son's names. (breakdown below)
So why do I want to change things now? 
The honest answer is that I need to actually 'feel' something again. As bad as it sounds, I don't think I have felt anything for years, when I do 'feel' something it's generally anxiety provoking and I spend to 'stop' the feeling, that really has to change now.
Looking at the debt I owe now, its broken down as follows

Me - £3396
Son's - £3150
Wife - £17500
Total - £24,046

I was quite full of optimism when I started this thread but as the full magnitude of my actions hits home, I have to ask myself if things will ever change and I will ever gain some sort of financial freedom.

My idea is that I clear the first two amounts £3396 & £3150 this year, continue to pay token payments on my wife's amount this year and attack it next year.

I have spoken to StepChange and have £300 disposable income per month, my wife is currently unemployed but we hope this situation changes soon. 

I have £2300 emergency fund but my wife's contract for her lease car comes to an end in October, unfortunately they will not renew meaning I will have to buy her a runaround at that time.

I have a pension pot of £49k (an old one from years ago). 

I do not contribute to a pension currently and have no life insurance policies.

All a bit of mess I'm afraid.

Any advice would be much appreciated. 

Joeisaware539

You just need to budget on a excel.
Your own debt is low to be honest.
what was your debt incurred from?

MrFrugalFever

Welcome, if you can stay a regular / semi-regular member on here, I think you’ll find comfort and hope that you CAN and WILL turn your life around.

You are not too old to start now. The biggest concern I see from everything you have said is your pension. If I was in your position I would be working extremely hard to pay the debt off ASAP, using whatever means necessary (second jobs/selling things etc). Then giving up any savings accounts (except a small nominal fee in an EF account) and squirrel everything you can in to your pension. Interest rates are crap and will likely remain crap for a few years, your pension should yield much better returns than any savings account could ever achieve, plus secure you a better future.

the key here is recognising your errors ☑️ Getting wife and son onboard ❓ and scrutinising your finances down to the penny - before someone else does.

whats happened in the past is irrelevant and you can’t change it, but you absolutely can change your future. 

Jamesyb123

Don’t be too hard on yourself most people on this forum have made mistakes too which is how we found ourselves here in the first place and I’m sure lots of us have done it more than once. You earn a good salary and your debts are definitely manageable. Try and stay positive work out a budget and stick to it. Would probably be best to clear the debt you’ve accrued in your sons name first as you don’t want his future damaged.

Savingsfox

One day at a time, 
Short term goals and milestones; being aware of the bigger aim helps but it’s often too overwhelming and your chances of success will be higher if you split into segments rather than worrying about the big picture. You can’t change your past but you can influence your future. 

caeler

I didn’t want to read and run. You are in the right place. You’ve taken the first step. Onwards and upwards. When I was in a similar situation I made a budget and asked for advice, the key was getting all my bills as low as possible so I had out some things.  I also had to overnight change my spending habits, no more credit. That was hard. 

Good luck with your journey. People around here are very supportive and super knowledgeable. 

fatbelly

Do your wife and son know about the debt you have incurred in their names?

TheAble

Probably the first thing to understand is what you are spending all your money on. It's not too late to turn things around but to be in your 50s with no house, no meaningful pension and another bunch of debt, it's critical that you get a handle on it, and quickly.

dae14867

Hi Fatbelly, yes they are aware. 

dae14867

What would be a good plan of action?

1. Clear debt asap
2. Use £1000 of £2300 as emergency fund
3. Use balance (£1300) for a runaround for my wife when its due.
4. Start paying as much as possible into pension pot?

fatbelly

Then I think sticking all those debts into a debt management plan with Stepchange would be a good start. Concentrate on everyone getting debt free. Don't worry about credit score.

It's going to take 6 years but if you don't kill off the interest it will take longer. Left to your own devices you may get discouraged by over-optimistic plans that you cannot deliver on. For example, you cannot clear £6600 of debt in  a year with £300 surplus income per month.

Stepchange will take your monthly payment and distribute it.

Your task will be learnng how to live on a budget

If you want to post a statement of affairs we can have a look at the detail

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php