Feel like I'm pressuring myself to buy my first house

MikeL93

My little sister moved out last weekend to move in with her boyfriend after they’ve bought their first house together. Now that I’m the last child still at home has got to me a bit, firstly the house feels quiet now without my little sister there and secondly I feel like I’m being judged by society for still living at home when I’m nearly 27.

I have a decent amount of money saved up for a mortgage. I have 36K saved up so my plan currently is to use 30K for a deposit and keep the rest for savings. After that I have very few direct debits but when I’ve done quick borrowing tests on the internet it says I can only borrow 115K which in my area and the surrounding areas isn’t enough for a mortgage.

My parents have told me there’s no rush for me to move out and they don’t want me to move out any time soon but I still feel under pressure. For example my brother in law who is married to my older sister keeps pointing out that I’m the only child left at home so pressure is on me now to move out.

When lockdown restrictions are eased I’m going to book an appointment to go and talk to a mortgage advisor but in the meantime is there anything I can do to stop the way I’m feeling?

MovingForwards

Yes, ignore the comments made by family about still living in the family home. Your parents are fine with you staying so there's no rush.

I'm the youngest in my family and the first one to move out, the first one to buy somewhere too many years later. My eldest sibling is now saving up, at 50 has never moved out the family home.

clueless_but_curious

Just kindly point out to them that they have moved with the benefit of a partner.  It is hard to do that on your own
I'm glad your parents are happy for you to stay - mine weren't!

Rachel*

I’m 29 and only just purchasing my first home, a lot of my friends (similar ages) still live at home with their parents. It is tough to get a mortgage on a single wage, especially if you live in an area where property is expensive. But you’ve already saved a lot of money, so just keep saving and ignore other people’s opinions. You’ll get there in the end, and it’ll be more satisfying when you know you’ve achieved it on your own. 

Mojisola

MikeL93 said:

in the meantime is there anything I can do to stop the way I’m feeling?

Practice saying in a mirror so that you can say it to the face of people who make comments - "I'm quite happy where I am at the moment" and change the subject.

You and your parents are happy; you are saving so that a house purchase will be easier when the time is right for you; don't let others force you into doing it before you're ready!

MFWannabe

If you’re happy where you are and your parents are happy then stay there and continue to save 
You’ll be in a much better financial position to buy with a larger deposit. 

Definitely don’t buy just for the sake of it and everyone else thinks you should! Buy when you’re ready 

ACG

My step brother moved out last year at 33. Theres no rush, the sooner you move out the sooner you have to pay for council tax, gas, electric, water, TV license, insurance, repairs etc etc etc. If you and your parents are happy with the set up, what does it matter what the brother in law says? 

General rule of thumb is you can get around 4.5x your income but with a good deposit you might be able to get a little more than that (maybe 4.75x income). 

If you are still living at home, especially in the current climate you should be able to throw money into savings, it looks like you are on about £25k a year, that must give you a grand a month spare if you have hardly any bills. Keep tucking money away as you will never get a better opportunity to save. 

Coffeekup

As ACG said..... If your parents are happy having you there, stay for as long as you feel comfortable or need.

In the meantime pretend you paying a mortgage on a house you'd like to buy, say £600 a month, then add another £100 a month for council tax, £70 for energy, £30 for internet and £20 for insurances and £50 for water.... totalling £850+ a month and throw that in savings for a bigger deposit for when you are ready and find something you like (it'll be more if you will want to packages.

On another note due to the current "situation" it's not nice sitting around the house on your own with no one to talk to.

Sod your BIL, you could always wind him up by saying "why would I move?" "I'm happy dossing here"..... It's always easier to do things in pairs or teams. 
On the other hand living at home, with savings like that could give you a good platform to start your own businesses (if you ever thought/dreamt about having one.

Good luck! The best things comes to those who wait

kimwp

Mojisola said:

MikeL93 said:

in the meantime is there anything I can do to stop the way I’m feeling?

Practice saying in a mirror so that you can say it to the face of people who make comments - "I'm quite happy where I am at the moment" and change the subject.

You and your parents are happy; you are saving so that a house purchase will be easier when the time is right for you; don't let others force you into doing it before you're ready!

Or even (to your brother in law) "is there a reason you need to focus on my life rather than your own?"

On a practical note, you need to allow some money for solicitors fees (approx 1000) and stamp duty if you will be buying in that bracket (unless first time buyers are exempt, I've lost track as they keep changing it!)

ShowMeTheDough

Sounds pretty obvious to me that your brother-in-law is just jealous that he's paying a mortgage/rent and all the associated bills whilst you aren't.

This is probably compounded by the knowledge that you have a good level of savings in the bank (if he's aware, of course).

If I were you; stay at home for as long as you can/want to, continuing filling that bank account up, and any time anyone makes a comment about it, give them the old "Haha, yeah it's great! I'm not going anywhere for now."

You'll look back on this as being the best problem you ever had. 

MikeL93

clueless_but_curious said:

Just kindly point out to them that they have moved with the benefit of a partner.  It is hard to do that on your own
I'm glad your parents are happy for you to stay - mine weren't!

He actually made a comment again last night so I told him that and it shut him up.

Additionally I pointed out that the PCP on my car is up in a few months so before I even think about applying for a mortgage first I’m going to sort my car out so that I know what my financial situation will be like when it comes to applying.