Getting shot of the mortgage sooner than 2049!

Bargainhunter30

I think grandparents are there just to break our rules. I try hard to keep sugary treats and junk to a minimum in our house so the kids love going to Grannies where they gorge on cake, biscuits and anything bad. Then everyone wonders why they are running round like lunes 😂 

We watch way too much tv in this house and I wish we'd set stricter rules, but I guess there's just so much to consider when raising kids and everyone has different priorities.  Your daughter will get such a lovely bond with MIL I'd be tempted to overlook the TV issue, unless it does really affect her health and she's struggling. 

Bluegreen143

Lots of good points @Bargainhunter30! I fully do expect MIL to let them watch too much TV and give them sugary treats but I didn’t expect that to be ALL they did today 🤣 and if it is MIL feeling really ill and not being able to cope, I’d rather we paid for the childcare. 

It just felt too much - it was a gorgeous sunny day too and she was stuck on her bum for 6 hours 😆 

You’re right too that we all have our own “areas” we tend to prioritise. And I’d never want to imply our way is better than anyone else’s! Perhaps we are overly strict with TV 😮

We don’t have it on in the background/don’t put our own TV on while the kids are awake. They get 30-60 minutes of kids TV on weekdays, anytime after 5pm until dinner - if the living room is tidy of all their toys. 

At weekends (including Friday as the kids and I are off) it’s a bit more relaxed and they can watch some in the morning too before/after breakfast, then once it’s turned off that’s it until pre-dinner.

However, it is important they have the chance to form the kind of bond MIL already has with Monkey so I do agree with that point too - so much to consider! 

Hopefully we can get across to MIL that Bambi is so independent you don’t actually need to rely on TV... For instance, once I took over she then played with very little input from me for a full hour in the garden while I sat and read and then did some gardening, and then when Monkey got home they continued to play for another hour together (mainly in the garden too) - she is such a self-sufficient 2yo, at that age her brother was soooooo clingy and in need of constant entertaining (thank goodness he is quite self-sufficient now too!).

Bluegreen143

Meant to post my meals for today but got distracted with my TV rant 😮

On the healthy eating bandwagon again:

B - Greek yog, banana, drizzle of maple syrup
L - big salad with leftover ham from last night
S - cup of miso soup
D - lentil & ham soup, HM bread 

Sarahwithlove

Maybe have a chat with her or get Red to
Explain that whilst you are grateful for her looking After Bambi that you try to limit their TV time and that she's happy just playing in the garden so she could just sit and watch her if she's not feeling great. If she doesn't know your rules then she can't follow them

Bargainhunter30

I'm definitely one that puts kids tv on for the sake of it, even when they're happily playing without. Trying to get out of this habit. I dont think you're too strict,wish I was more 😂

I agree with the childcare though, my aunt helped us for a while, but I was conscious of the fact she was approaching 70 and put DS into childcare for several half days, so she could enjoy her time looking after him rather than find it a chore and hard work. My DS is a bit wild though, she looked after DD for a full day when I went back after last maternity and they had a great, relaxed time playing together. Could you consider half days, so MIL isnt as tired?

Bluegreen143

@Bargainhunter30 Sounds like you found a great solution! A couple of half days would be perfect if MIL drove/lived locally but I’d need to do the pick up in the middle of the working day - plus she isn't local so is staying overnight with us on Sundays/getting her Sunday dinner and then is here on Monday to babysit so it feels pointless if Bambi is then at nursery half the day. 

We’ll see how it goes over the next few weeks anyway! It’s only 10 months til Bambi is 3 and gets her 30 hours and hopefully moves to my son’s preschool - I will put her in Mon-Thursday there (assuming my work contract gets extended/made permanent).

Bluegreen143

Food update:

B - Greek yoghurt, maple syrup & banana (kids had Weetabix and banana)

L - leftover soup, HM bread, grapes

S - a cheeky biscuit as Red bought a pack today, but I’ve made him put them in his van now so as not to sabotage my healthy eating!

D -  making black bean & sweet potato burritos with salad. Kids usually eat things in wraps 🤞🏼 though they may be stuffed from nursery

Bambi had a half day at nursery today and has her first full session tomorrow (though in reality I’ll be picking her up at 3.30 so it’s not the full day).

Think it went OK but maybe not as amazing as the first time - hard to say as Red picked her up and forgot to ask the girl for any info 😅 but he said she did cry when she saw him bless her. 

When they got home and I went into the garden to say hi to the kids she was so happy to see me and rushed over for a cuddle shouting “mummy mummy!”. Normally she’s more of a daddy’s girl and often spurns cuddles with me so that was nice 🙂 then I asked her if she missed mummy and she nodded, then said painstakingly (she’s only just putting words together and isn’t fluent at speaking yet) “Uh meee mummy” aka I missed mummy 😍 but she also said yes when I asked her if she played with the sand & was there toy dinosaurs again, and that she played outside, so I think she had fun.

Bluegreen143

Am a very sad little Bluegreen tonight as (after doing really well in her first couple of settling sessions), Bambi is not doing well at settling into nursery 😔 today she was there 8-3 and wouldn’t eat a thing all day, wouldn’t go to the toilet (so then had two accidents) and for the whole morning apparently lay on the floor and refused to play or engage in any activities... she fell asleep on the floor (she doesn’t usually nap) and was more engaged in playing once up thank goodness. Feel really dispirited and guilty as until I took this job I had no intention of sending her to nursery before 3. I’m hoping she will settle in ok as time passes but it’s not nice to leave her knowing she is taking it so hard (she keeps saying to us “no nursery, stay home, me miss mummy” 💔😭)

Red is furloughed next week so we are going to try her for her usual session tomorrow (but I’ve asked them to call if she is struggling to the same extent and I’ll get her early) and if needed we will try shorter sessions next week even just 2-3 hours at a time til she is managing better.

Sarahwithlove

Oh bless her. Hopefully it will get better and she will adjust. Doing shorter sessions sounds like a good idea. 

Bluegreen143

Well she still wasn’t terribly happy today but played much more and while they couldn’t get her to use the toilet (so she had two accidents), they did tempt her with a slice of dry toast at lunch 🙈 she’s not going back til Tuesday now. 

Such a busy busy day today as had so much work and ended up working on in the evening after taking a break earlier to get Bambi from nursery a bit early. After being off all day Red got called out at 3.30pm just as I was settling down to do my extra hour of work so it turning totally hectic as he didn’t get home til 8.30pm - on Thursdays I have zoom Gaelic class 6.30-8 too.

I let the kids have a bit of TV in the afternoon then an afternoon bath both of which allowed me to get my work done, got them in their jammies early and Monkey helped me make the dinner. Then after dinner instead of their usual bath (which they’d already had) I let them watch another 90 mins TV while I did my class. So breaking my own TV rule but it worked pretty well - Bambi was in bed very late for her though so that may affect her sleep, she seems to sleep much worse if overtired! 

Then from 8.15-8.30 I was running about doing the dishes as quick as I could, Red got home and 5 mins later the Tesco delivery arrived. So after all that we are knackered now 🤣 glad it’s thursday and work is over for the week - Red is still on call though and has one job booked in tomorrow morning.

Tesco shop today £88

We used £10 Red’s aunt kindly sent us in an anniversary card (7 years!) towards the shop & got a £7 bottle of wine and £3 of the £4 cost of some antipasti 😆

So £10 paid for from a gift, £12.32 on household items, £1 Monkey asked us to get plasters from his pocket money (he is obsessed with them!) and £64.67 on food. Can’t be bothered typing out the breakdown now! 

I’ve been really good with a renewed health kick this last week - mainly eating salads for lunch - I’ve been keeping a chopped up tub of “non wet” salad (lettuce, red cabbage, spring onion, grated carrot or beetroot, radishes etc) in the fridge at all times so it’s easy to grab a handful, mix up a dressing and top with tinned mackerel/tuna or leftover cold meat. 

While there’s a perception that this kind of eating is expensive I find one iceberg lettuce (40p) is doing us all week and spring onions, carrot, cabbage etc are hardly expensive. And 65p or something for a tin of mackerel, or if I use tuna I just use half. Dressed in a little olive oil and bottled lemon juice. OK it’s not the cheapest lunch you can have but it’s definitely not the most expensive and much cheaper than buying a salad out! Plus not buying as many treats or baking ingredients saves a fortune.