Getting shot of the mortgage sooner than 2049!

Spendless

Only because I saw you post somewhere else, I came to find you here. Can't believe it was the beginning of the year that you got the job offer that changed everything. What a lot has happened since Jan for many of us, me included. My daughter, now 18 is moving to Edinburgh next month for a drama course until March. Time definitely goes fast  with a child's childhood. Enjoy. 

Bluegreen143

Thanks Spendless! Good luck to your daughter - how exciting for her! Though no doubt emotional for you?

Still feeling a bit blah and unmotivated but at least I’ve kept YNAB up to date. Will plan to update on here twice a week as it really keeps me much more motivated and it’s helpful to catch small trends before they become problems. Last month’s overspending means this month isn’t very fun trying to catch up and I’m aware it’s very easy to have “f-it” syndrome and just give up when you have a setback… it’s the dull bit keeping on going with your goals but so essential! 

One thing that isn’t helping us restrictions easing so we’ve been invited to lots of social events. It’s hard to say no when you have hardly seen the people in two years. We just went out yesterday as Red’s sisters are visiting from England. It was £60 for lunch in the end but his sister had worked it out as £110 for us as unbeknownst to us we were apparently chipping in for the aunt & uncle & nephew. It’s a lovely thought but annoying to have it sprung on us. Red made a face I think when she said £110 and she saw so she ended up saying “oh just give us £60” - which I think was her then subbing us a bit so felt a bit awkward 🤦‍♀️ 

joedenise

@Bluegreen143 Red's sister really shouldn't have sprung that on you - it's so unfair to be expected to chip in for the aunt, uncle and nephew without knowing anything about it.  I also think it's extremely rude.  Was there a particular reason for it or just because they were visiting from England?

I know what you mean about spending more now that restrictions are easing.  I think everyone is probably spending more on socialising than they were just because we can but it doesn't help when you're trying to save and overpay the mortgage!

Bluegreen143

@joedenise I think she just wanted to treat the aunt & uncle as (without going into too much detail) they are older and have had a really horrendous time the last few years with both their adult children having various illnesses both physical and mental and they are run down doing a lot of caring. So I do think it was a nice thought but that it wasn’t very fair to just say as we went to pay “oh let’s treat auntie and uncle” because it was an expensive restaurant as it was. And the nephew thing I don’t get, I think she didn’t want him to pay his own as he is 20ish but as his mum was there she should have been paying his not all of us! Anyway it worked out fine in the end.

Had a really lovely day. One of Red’s visiting sisters came over for drinks with her newish partner last night and it was lovely to get to know him. And they left their car here so then came again in the morning for a while. Then my mum popped over for a coffee and then I took the kids to a group play date in a local country park with a few friends. Free except for the petrol to get there as we took snacks so that was a good start to being more frugal again! Kids are knackered now!

Baileys_Babe

I think that was rude of Red's sister to just spring on you that she expected Red to contribute towards other family members meals without first discussing it beforehand. Also, that was a huge amount she was asking for nearly twice what your family's meal cost.

As a household, we are very slowly easing restrictions, but it is difficult as we haven't seen many of our friends and family for a very long time.

Baileys_Babe

Doh, I was distracted when writing my previous post by my parents arriving I posted it about an hour after writing it 🤦

Bluegreen143

Hello diary friends! Had a good week this week, but busy! We are all settling in nicely to our new routine as it’s been four weeks since Monkey started school (how?!). It kind of goes like this:

❤️ M - work from home, quiet afternoon at home

🧡 Tu - work in the office, playdate at one of the local parks with a couple of good friends and their kids (they both have kids same age as mine and we’ve known them for years)

💛 W - work at home, quiet afternoon at home

💚 Th - sometimes work in the office, sometimes at home, every second week take the kids to the library (well it’s only been once but the plan is fortnightly)

💙 F - my day off with Bambi (the last few weeks we’ve been going to a local outdoor playgroup but yesterday I took her swimming instead so I’m planning on maybe alternating) then either going to the playpark next to Monkey’s school or having a playdate. This week we had one of his new school friends with her mum & little sister over and did pizza dinner for the four kids - it’s lovely to see that he’s settling in and making friends!

Thats pretty much it, though there are variations and I’m working in the office on Wednesdays for the next couple weeks instead.

Feels like a good balance between being busy and having play time at home for now. Red is keen for us to sign Monkey up to something extra curricular (football or karate or similar) but I’m a bit resistant - hope that doesn’t sound terribly neglectful - I just love having relaxing afternoons after school with them, I always set up activities for them coming in (I’m teaching Monkey to read as he’s not doing anything in English at school yet because it’s a language immersion school) and they just love playing in the garden, making art or playing with Lego etc. I’m enjoying the more low key stuff like meeting friends in the park more than the idea of being locked into going to a certain club at a certain time each week. I’m sure I will sign him up to something but I’m going to limit it to one activity per week at this age! 

Money-wise, luckily most of the stuff I’ve been doing with the kids is free or cheap (park, library, swimming) and we’ve been so busy seeing relatives at the weekends we’ve not done too much in terms of family days out. I did go for dinner with friends on Wednesday - £21.50 for three tapas and bread so pretty good and worth every penny to have a lovely night out (I was driving so no alcohol or taxi cost). 

As always in September my mind starts to turn toward Christmas and I’ll need to start making a plan. Also only think I have a couple of hundred £ saved up for it (because I used it all for birthdays and my sister’s wedding gift) so I’ll be making it a budget priority over Sept/Oct/Nov pays to avoid it all coming out of one paycheque.

My friend gave me some sourdough starter this week so keen to get back into baking bread more again. I’m just writing this here for accountability so I don’t forget 😂

joedenise

I'm with you on the extra curricula thing for Monkey.  As he's only just started school it's probably tiring enough for him.  My youngest was usually really tired by about 5pm once she started school.

Mine didn't do anything after school clubs until they went up into the Junior School at age 7 and then it was only once a week.  I think what you're planning is far better at his age.  They still need some quiet time.

Baileys_Babe

I agree with you both that starting an extracurricular activity currently will be too much for Monkey, I would wait until he is older unless he is asking for a particular activity that you think is suitable. 

Bargainhunter30

I'm questioning about clubs for my 6 year old too, he is quite adamant he's not interested and refused to go back to football after the first session. We're trying karate now, I don't want to be a pushy parent but I think he's naturally lazy and would prefer to sit in front of the tv all day 😂 we will definitely not be doing endless activities and at this age I think they prefer to do things with us. There is so much pressure on us these days to do so much.