Ex partner who refuses to pay the mortage

HarrietRose4679

Hi there,

I am looking for some advice or past experiences/outcomes regarding a ex partner who has refused to cover the mortgage. 

My ex partner left me 3 years ago when I was pregnant as I got diagnosed with a serious health issue and I had to remain in hospital for months at a time, he decided this was too stressful for him and left me and refused to visit me. I had always covered the mortgage since we bought the house(which I proof of) so continued to do so along with all the bills and now joint loans we had as he stopped paying them too. 

Fast forward a few years I considered a few options 

1: selling up but he would only agree to a 50:50 split, which I couldn’t agree to as now a single mum I needed more of a share to buy another home in future for my child which he refused. I have paid £30k more into the house via mortgage payments. An even more money to renovate the property. 

2: buying him out in which I offered him his full deposit plus £3k again he refused. He lived in the property less than a year. 

This man hasn’t once paid me any child maintenance and has no relationship with our child he lives back with his mother and has no bills or future plans to buy another property. I had asked him in the past if he spare me a little money just so I could put food on the table and he refused. He works full time and earns a decent income in comparison to his outgoings. 

I have scrapped by for past few years to stop the house going into arrears for a few years the house outgoings were more than my incoming as I had to work part time to care for our child as I couldn’t afford childcare and I was still very ill so literally had to sell the furniture in my house to get by. 

I always make sure my child doesn’t go without, I work two jobs now and it breaks me that his father could potentially take 50% and leave our child worse off, especially when I’ve worked so hard to give him everything he needs. 

Finically I am now in a better position and can afford the house and still have a life and am wondering if I take him to court will I be granted a bigger share of the property. If I go to court could I potentially be worse of, if the court splits everything 50/50 I will then be out pocket with court fees too. I only want what I am entitled too and am more happy for him to take his deposit back. 

I don’t want to leave my family home that I have worked so hard to keep but also don’t want every time I pay money out it too be going into his back pocket. An if I do sell I need more than 50% to buy another house. 

I’d really appreciate any help. 

ACG

Speak to a solicitor.
If a letter lands on his doormat asking for child maintenance going back 3 years and 50% of mortgage and loan payments going back 3 years, he might be more inclined to negotiate and will probably accept taking his name off the deeds/mortgage in lieu of making any payments. 

[Deleted User]

HarrietRose4679 said:

Hi there,

I am looking for some advice or past experiences/outcomes regarding a ex partner who has refused to cover the mortgage. 

My ex partner left me 3 years ago when I was pregnant as I got diagnosed with a serious health issue and I had to remain in hospital for months at a time, he decided this was too stressful for him and left me and refused to visit me. I had always covered the mortgage since we bought the house(which I proof of) so continued to do so along with all the bills and now joint loans we had as he stopped paying them too. 

Fast forward a few years I considered a few options 

1: selling up but he would only agree to a 50:50 split, which I couldn’t agree to as now a single mum I needed more of a share to buy another home in future for my child which he refused. I have paid £30k more into the house via mortgage payments. An even more money to renovate the property. 

2: buying him out in which I offered him his full deposit plus £3k again he refused. He lived in the property less than a year. 

This man hasn’t once paid me any child maintenance and has no relationship with our child he lives back with his mother and has no bills or future plans to buy another property. I had asked him in the past if he spare me a little money just so I could put food on the table and he refused. He works full time and earns a decent income in comparison to his outgoings. 

I have scrapped by for past few years to stop the house going into arrears for a few years the house outgoings were more than my incoming as I had to work part time to care for our child as I couldn’t afford childcare and I was still very ill so literally had to sell the furniture in my house to get by. 

I always make sure my child doesn’t go without, I work two jobs now and it breaks me that his father could potentially take 50% and leave our child worse off, especially when I’ve worked so hard to give him everything he needs. 

Finically I am now in a better position and can afford the house and still have a life and am wondering if I take him to court will I be granted a bigger share of the property. If I go to court could I potentially be worse of, if the court splits everything 50/50 I will then be out pocket with court fees too. I only want what I am entitled too and am more happy for him to take his deposit back. 

I don’t want to leave my family home that I have worked so hard to keep but also don’t want every time I pay money out it too be going into his back pocket. An if I do sell I need more than 50% to buy another house. 

I’d really appreciate any help. 

You say ex-partner so presume you aren’t/weren’t married meaning a court isn’t going to sit down and work out a fair split. 

Is there a Deed of Trust in place to say what will in the event of a relationship break down? How is the property currently owned, tenant in common (if so what’s the split, 50:50?) or joint tenants. 

It may well be that legally he is entitled to 50% of the equity so you really need to get this sorted sooner rather than later. 

The lack of child maintenance is a side issue but one that requires immediate attention. 

HarrietRose4679

ACG said:

Speak to a solicitor.
If a letter lands on his doormat asking for child maintenance going back 3 years and 50% of mortgage and loan payments going back 3 years, he might be more inclined to negotiate and will probably accept taking his name off the deeds/mortgage in lieu of making any payments. 

Thank you I am speaking with a solicitor this afternoon they seem to think going to court is my only option as he will not negotiate at all. I just don’t want to be worse off if they do rule a 50/50 split, I will discuss with them today your suggestion. 

dimbo61

Have you changed the locks or does he still have keys to enter whenever he wants ?
You need to speak to a solicitor and also make sure he can't take out a loan, mortgage or any credit with the property as security.
You also need to take your EX to court for child maintenance.
You have a child together and he needs to pay a fair share for the child.
You need a financial septation order or he can damage your credit.
Time to get tough 

HarrietRose4679

Lover_of_Lycra said:

HarrietRose4679 said:

Hi there,

I am looking for some advice or past experiences/outcomes regarding a ex partner who has refused to cover the mortgage. 

My ex partner left me 3 years ago when I was pregnant as I got diagnosed with a serious health issue and I had to remain in hospital for months at a time, he decided this was too stressful for him and left me and refused to visit me. I had always covered the mortgage since we bought the house(which I proof of) so continued to do so along with all the bills and now joint loans we had as he stopped paying them too. 

Fast forward a few years I considered a few options 

1: selling up but he would only agree to a 50:50 split, which I couldn’t agree to as now a single mum I needed more of a share to buy another home in future for my child which he refused. I have paid £30k more into the house via mortgage payments. An even more money to renovate the property. 

2: buying him out in which I offered him his full deposit plus £3k again he refused. He lived in the property less than a year. 

This man hasn’t once paid me any child maintenance and has no relationship with our child he lives back with his mother and has no bills or future plans to buy another property. I had asked him in the past if he spare me a little money just so I could put food on the table and he refused. He works full time and earns a decent income in comparison to his outgoings. 

I have scrapped by for past few years to stop the house going into arrears for a few years the house outgoings were more than my incoming as I had to work part time to care for our child as I couldn’t afford childcare and I was still very ill so literally had to sell the furniture in my house to get by. 

I always make sure my child doesn’t go without, I work two jobs now and it breaks me that his father could potentially take 50% and leave our child worse off, especially when I’ve worked so hard to give him everything he needs. 

Finically I am now in a better position and can afford the house and still have a life and am wondering if I take him to court will I be granted a bigger share of the property. If I go to court could I potentially be worse of, if the court splits everything 50/50 I will then be out pocket with court fees too. I only want what I am entitled too and am more happy for him to take his deposit back. 

I don’t want to leave my family home that I have worked so hard to keep but also don’t want every time I pay money out it too be going into his back pocket. An if I do sell I need more than 50% to buy another house. 

I’d really appreciate any help. 

You say ex-partner so presume you aren’t/weren’t married meaning a court isn’t going to sit down and work out a fair split. 

Is there a Deed of Trust in place to say what will in the event of a relationship break down? How is the property currently owned, tenant in common (if so what’s the split, 50:50?) or joint tenants. 

It may well be that legally he is entitled to 50% of the equity so you really need to get this sorted sooner rather than later. 

The lack of child maintenance is a side issue but one that requires immediate attention. 

Thank you for your response, no we were never married, and unfortunately we are joint tenants with no trust in place as originally we both contributed the same deposits so I was more happy with a 50/50 split if we did separate. 

Yes, now I am more finically stable I am trying to sort things out, a few years ago I couldn’t afford a solicitor so just really exploring all avenues now. I really want to keep my house but I seem to be pushed into a corner as I cannot afford to give him 50% that he wants to take him of the deeds and cannot afford to buy another house if I sell and give him 50%. 

HarrietRose4679

dimbo61 said:

Have you changed the locks or does he still have keys to enter whenever he wants ?
You need to speak to a solicitor and also make sure he can't take out a loan, mortgage or any credit with the property as security.
You also need to take your EX to court for child maintenance.
You have a child together and he needs to pay a fair share for the child.
You need a financial septation order or he can damage your credit.
Time to get tough 

I have had the locks changed as he kept turning up in the middle of the night without warning which frightened me, I would be in bed and thought someone was breaking in. I reported this to the police and they agreed it was okay for me to change the locks and they would hold everything on record. 

Thank you I am speaking with my solicitor this afternoon so will defiantly ask these questions as I really cannot afford any further debt from him and didn’t realise he could do this. 

I know it is time to get tough as being reasonable really isn’t working. 

Thank you! 

ACG

HarrietRose4679 said:

ACG said:

Speak to a solicitor.
If a letter lands on his doormat asking for child maintenance going back 3 years and 50% of mortgage and loan payments going back 3 years, he might be more inclined to negotiate and will probably accept taking his name off the deeds/mortgage in lieu of making any payments. 

Thank you I am speaking with a solicitor this afternoon they seem to think going to court is my only option as he will not negotiate at all. I just don’t want to be worse off if they do rule a 50/50 split, I will discuss with them today your suggestion. 

Taking a 50/50 split now is better than taking a 50/50 split in 5 years time after you have made 5 years worth of payments.
I think you probably have a few things in your favour though. Make sure the solicitor is decent though. 

My mate has a dispute with his ex, the first solicitor told him to roll over and take what she offered. The second solicitor disagreed and told him that what he wanted was fair and he would get it if it went to court... He got what he wanted and that was £15k more than his ex offered. 

kingstreet

Have a look at Jones v Kernott. Similar situation, but no kids IIRC so probably more in your favour.