Advice needed

Harryc

After 6 years of marriage and 1 child later I have found my husband is in 60 k of debt . I have found out by accident . 

He has 
1 x car loan 6 k left 
1x personnel loan 20 k 10 k left
1 x loan 20 k 15 k left 
1 x loan 20 k 12 k left 
3 credit cards total 20 k

He earns a good salary 60 k 
we live in rented approx 700 a month 
normal bills etc 

I have no idea how he has done this and he has nothing to show except. Car . 

Can he get loans in secured or would somebody had to help him 
he won’t discuss this at the minute so looking for advice .

JAS2015

Is he able to make the repayments?

madaboutspots

Hi Harry

I don't entirely understand this question... Can he get loans in secured or would somebody had to help him... Can you explain what you're asking please? Apologies if I'm being a bit dim.

If hubby has no property or tangibles other than his car I can't see what he could have secured his loans against. The car could be at risk if he were to default on that loan. Do you have any reason to think hubby could have taken out any of these loans in your name or joint names?

Have you any joint assets? Obviously you have joint responsibility of 1 child.

I'm sure you're going through a massive bunch of confusing emotions all at the same time just now. Try and take a breath. There are a good number of caring and knowledgeable people on this forum who will be along to help give some clarity to your position and how his actions have/could affect you. Once armed with the facts and some breathing space (ideally incl a conversation with hubby) you'll be much better placed to consider what you want to do.

For now, don't panic, don't suggest you take on any of his debt. Let's see if we can unravel the full picture, from your perspective and only then can you decide what's the best foot forward for yourself and your child.

Do you know if he's got all the debt in his name only?
Has either of you any assets house/rental property? Obviously the car.
Do you have any idea if hubby is currently up to date with his payments?
Can you help us understand his attitude about the debt? 

We between us have a broad wealth of experience. This site is safe and anonymous and without judgement. Let us guide you through to a point where you can see what's ahead and what to do. x

enthusiasticsaver

Harryc said:

After 6 years of marriage and 1 child later I have found my husband is in 60 k of debt . I have found out by accident . 

He has 
1 x car loan 6 k left 
1x personnel loan 20 k 10 k left
1 x loan 20 k 15 k left 
1 x loan 20 k 12 k left 
3 credit cards total 20 k

He earns a good salary 60 k 
we live in rented approx 700 a month 
normal bills etc 

I have no idea how he has done this and he has nothing to show except. Car . 

Can he get loans in secured or would somebody had to help him 
he won’t discuss this at the minute so looking for advice .

Sorry you have only just found this out.  Undoubtedly he has had many years of spending more than he earns and the loans are probably debt consolidation loans and he has then gone on to build credit card debt back up again.  Whilst £60k is a decent income it depends on whether you also earn and your lifestyle.  It does not take long to build up debt if you are forking out thousands in holidays or splashing out several times a month on shopping sprees etc. 

He would probably have had no problem getting loans for that amount so I doubt any of them are guaranteed but it depends on his credit rating.  If he won't discuss it though what are you asking? What is your situation?  Do you have joint finances with your husband or are they separate? How do you divide up bills etc and do you work?  It is a lot of debt but if he is the sole earner and the debt has arisen just from him covering all the bills and outgoing on just one salary I am surprised this has not been discussed before.  Do you not talk about finances? 

Harryc

Hi thanks both
i also work and earn over 45 k
we share household bills and then we have our own money. 

I have found out about this by accident and we do not spend nor take expensive holidays . If we do this is a joint venture

the question was I was shocked he had been able to keep getting loans the most recent late last year .

when he returns from his time out I shall have to have that difficult conversation particularly as I now realise that a mortgage probably will not be possible .
thanks again .

madaboutspots

Harryc 

It's awful how much debt individuals are able to rack up. It's irresponsible of lenders but others have been in considerably higher amounts of debt. It would seem your hubby has managed to keep this from you so some planning has occurred to hide it for so long.

Is gambling or poor investments a possibility? Without an obviously extravagant lifestyle there has to be something. It's a very large amount to have used up. 

I wish you all the best with that very uncomfortable conversation. Try hard to stay calm and hold out for evidence. Only then can you work out what you're dealing with. x

Babybelles

I just wanted to say I hope you are ok as no doubt you’ve had a shock finding this out.

There are lots of people on here with similar, or higher amounts of debt who have managed to get a plan together & pay them off. So, as awful as it is you are in the right place to get lots of good advice.

I really hope he manages to come clean to you & explain what is going on. If he has a high amount of debt with no tangible assets or an extravagant lifestyle, then I would worry whether he has run up debts through gambling as mentioned above. Obviously this is speculation so I just hope you get to find out the cause of the debts so you can stop further ones occurring.

Good luck, I hope you get a plan in place.

Brenster

Sounds like a massive shock, i am sorry you are in this situation.
Reading your post i am afraid only one thing seems to come to mind, gambling.  It is a crippling addiction which explains the continuous topping up of debt with nothing to show for it.  I hope i am wrong but it seems to be the only thing that makes sense.
Good Luck with your discussion, but whatever the issue is it needs to be broughts to ahead as it is obviously not sustainable, and involves a lot of lies and mis trust.

enthusiasticsaver

Harryc said:

Hi thanks both
i also work and earn over 45 k
we share household bills and then we have our own money. 

I have found out about this by accident and we do not spend nor take expensive holidays . If we do this is a joint venture

the question was I was shocked he had been able to keep getting loans the most recent late last year .

when he returns from his time out I shall have to have that difficult conversation particularly as I now realise that a mortgage probably will not be possible .
thanks again .

Ok if you work and share the bills there is a problem somewhere with overspending for him to ramp up that much unsecured debt but have no assets to show for it beyond what seems to be a relatively inexpensive car.  If not holidays and no obvious sign of overspending (lots of tech or designer clothing) then I would be worried that something like drugs, gambling is draining his income.  Or it may be he has got into a debt spiral and is paying very high interest rates.  Unfortunately it is all too easy to get credit if you have a reasonable job and decent salary so I am not surprised he has managed to continue borrowing but bear in mind that he may be paying very high interest rates which will make his situation worse.

A mortgage will definitely be off the cards until he sorts this out or certainly one in joint names.  On the plus side it should not affect your credit record as you do not have shared finances.  Do not pay off his debt for him or open up a joint account especially if he is cagey about money. Have you never talked about money during your marriage?  I would be seriously concerned if he won't tell you anything.