Slipping into depression

LudaMusser

Hi,

For the past couple of months I’ve been gradually feeling more and more depressed. I knew that I’d find it hard through the Winter months 

I’m currently on “flexible furlough”. I go in to work for a week and then have the following week off. Whilst I’m off my colleague is in and vice versa. We can’t work from home because of the nature of the job. I enjoy being at work as I have something to focus on. In the Summer I was doing lots outside whilst off but that’s just not possible now

On Sunday afternoon I sent my manager an email. I explained that it would really benefit my well-being if I could come back to work on a weekly basis and made a suggestion of how we could split the week up. This would also help with childcare 

My manager hasn’t contacted me. Since covid began we’ve been sent emails about employee wellbeing on an almost weekly basis. When I tell my work that I’m struggling I hear nothing back. Unfortunately my manager is very well known for not responding to emails, holiday requests etc. Most of our holidays are taken without us having had them authorised

I’m back in work on Monday so will give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s waiting for me to come in but my question is, shall I just speak to Personnel as the next step?

One of my colleagues said last week that they want to come back to work full time and that they’ve started going to bed at 8:00pm because they are becoming bored at home and slipping into depression. I haven’t mentioned this

I’m beginning to feel a little annoyed as my manager could have at least acknowledged that they have received my email. Unfortunately this doesn’t surprise me and it was expected, I’m not sure whether he thinks he can just ignore things and they’ll go away. I didn’t contact Personnel first as it would have felt wrong to go straight to them and not my line manager but when I email him this is usually what happens, nothing

Employer's are meant to have a duty of care to their employees. I feel like they send emails out about your well-being because they need to be seen as to care but when you ask for something they don’t want to know

advice please  

tacpot12

Your manager is probably struggling at least as much as you are. I would talk to Personnel, but don't make a big thing of it. It seems straightforward to me - you and your colleague want to swap your hours around as this is better for both of you. You'd like to make the change as soon as you can, but don't feel you can move until your manager has sanctioned it. That's probably all you need to say to Personnel. 

You might look into whether a light box (designed for those with Seasonal Affective Disorder) would help on days you are at home. Have a look here: SAD Lamp | Light Box Therapy | LloydsPharmacy

polgara

Might be useful to contact HR but maybe you could also try things like a SAD lamp or even just a little bit of exercise at home whilst the weather is rubbish?  One of the issues with depression is a feeling of lack of control and the pandemic is a classic trigger - so control what you can.  If you feel it is getting worse then please contact your GP - they are all still working and a telephone consultation might be helpful. Do you have any support network that you can talk to?

Claddagh_Noir

LudaMusser said:

Hi,

For the past couple of months I’ve been gradually feeling more and more depressed. I knew that I’d find it hard through the Winter months 

I’m currently on “flexible furlough”. I go in to work for a week and then have the following week off. Whilst I’m off my colleague is in and vice versa. We can’t work from home because of the nature of the job. I enjoy being at work as I have something to focus on. In the Summer I was doing lots outside whilst off but that’s just not possible now

On Sunday afternoon I sent my manager an email. I explained that it would really benefit my well-being if I could come back to work on a weekly basis and made a suggestion of how we could split the week up. This would also help with childcare 

My manager hasn’t contacted me. Since covid began we’ve been sent emails about employee wellbeing on an almost weekly basis. When I tell my work that I’m struggling I hear nothing back. Unfortunately my manager is very well known for not responding to emails, holiday requests etc. Most of our holidays are taken without us having had them authorised

I’m back in work on Monday so will give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s waiting for me to come in but my question is, shall I just speak to Personnel as the next step?

One of my colleagues said last week that they want to come back to work full time and that they’ve started going to bed at 8:00pm because they are becoming bored at home and slipping into depression. I haven’t mentioned this

I’m beginning to feel a little annoyed as my manager could have at least acknowledged that they have received my email. Unfortunately this doesn’t surprise me and it was expected, I’m not sure whether he thinks he can just ignore things and they’ll go away. I didn’t contact Personnel first as it would have felt wrong to go straight to them and not my line manager but when I email him this is usually what happens, nothing

Employer's are meant to have a duty of care to their employees. I feel like they send emails out about your well-being because they need to be seen as to care but when you ask for something they don’t want to know

advice please  

I am sorry you are feeling like this.  I second what Polgara has mentioned.  Exercise, as cliché as it sounds, does do wonders for your mental well-being. Getting out in the fresh air and taking in the nature, listening to the birds singing and chirping.  Hopefully, there are are some nice, scenic walks you can go on.  I go out walking at about 6 am, unfortunately, the roads are not as quiet as they were in March 2020.  I was frustrated with my manager pre-lockdown (March) when everyone was set up to work from home and everyone else was more or less an after-thought.  We had to badger the management to get the rest of us set up remotely and travel to and from work and be amongst others like sitting ducks! 

I would contact the personnel department and diplomatically touch base with them about your predicament.  Hopefully they will assist and may negotiate changing your hours, but no doubt that will involve your manager. 

Marcon

LudaMusser said:

On Sunday afternoon I sent my manager an email. I explained that it would really benefit my well-being if I could come back to work on a weekly basis and made a suggestion of how we could split the week up. This would also help with childcare 

My manager hasn’t contacted me. Since covid began we’ve been sent emails about employee wellbeing on an almost weekly basis. When I tell my work that I’m struggling I hear nothing back. Unfortunately my manager is very well known for not responding to emails, holiday requests etc. Most of our holidays are taken without us having had them authorised

I’m beginning to feel a little annoyed as my manager could have at least acknowledged that they have received my email. Unfortunately this doesn’t surprise me and it was expected,

On Sunday afternoon you sent your manager an email; you are now upset and annoyed because he didn't jump to it and reply immediately - but he's simply running true to type, so as you say, no surprise.

You are at home, miserable and befuddled like most of us by the impact of COVID - and probably your manager is, too.

It may benefit your well being and help with childcare if you change your work pattern, but you need to present it to your employer in a positive light, not simply as a plea for help. Employers are struggling to run businesses and look after staff, and being presented with something which has a positive slant for the business, rather than a 'problem employee' (forgive the phrase) is much more likely to get the outcome you hope for.

Everyone's mental health is affected by the events of the last 10 months and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themself. Try some of the simple self-help measures suggested above. Have a look at https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000rhg8 for some sensible and practical suggestions. If your mood is really slipping dangerously low, ask for help from your GP.

[Deleted User]

I've worked in a couple of places that encouraged being open about mental health issues, and made a big deal about caring for their employees' mental health. Anyone who did open up, appeared to be managed out pretty quickly after doing so.

LudaMusser

Thanks for the replies

I spent quite a lot of Wednesday and Thursday in the garden doing some pretty tough jobs like digging up a couple of tree stumps and some bamboo and felt a lot better for it mentally even though it was quite cold and muddy I quite enjoyed it

I’ve been informed now that we can do a split shift which is great news as I can go in on a weekly basis for three days each week instead of a week on/week off and this will also help with childcare

[Deleted User]

LudaMusser said:

Thanks for the replies

I spent quite a lot of Wednesday and Thursday in the garden doing some pretty tough jobs like digging up a couple of tree stumps and some bamboo and felt a lot better for it mentally even though it was quite cold and muddy I quite enjoyed it

I’ve been informed now that we can do a split shift which is great news as I can go in on a weekly basis for three days each week instead of a week on/week off and this will also help with childcare

Thanks for the update. Great to hear that it's been sorted at work.

ACG

This is not quite the same, but when I started out being self employed (10 years ago), I had no work on. I would literally do about 5 hours work a week. It started to get me down and I very nearly gave up and went and got a full time job. 

One thing that helped was going to the gym. Appreciate you cant go to the gym now, but can you get some weights and do a jog or some dancing/exercise things around the house? Do that for 30 minutes a day or 2-3 x 10-15 minutes and I am sure it will help a little. 

You need to find something to get the blood pumping and something to keep you occupied. If you sit there thinking how bored you are it is just a downward spiral. I really struggled yesterday, I found myself looking out the window, sitting down and then 20 minutes later doing the same thing again. I was climbing the walls. But I seem to get 1 day like that every month or so. I know it might not be your thing, but I have started buying some wood and things so I can build a little wooden greenhouse thing with my little girl for some fruit and veg we will plant in spring. So that will keep me occupied in Feb if I get bored, just something to give you an idea. Maybe some colouring in books? Sounds strange but there are actually adult colouring in books. 

Your employer has some responsibility but nobody is going to care more about your mental health than you are, so you should be looking at things you can do to improve it. If I worked at your place, I would let you go in every week whilst I sat at home, but it sounds like some of your colleagues are suffering a little also. 

Marcon

ACG said:

One thing that helped was going to the gym. Appreciate you cant go to the gym now, but can you get some weights and do a jog or some dancing/exercise things around the house? Do that for 30 minutes a day or 2-3 x 10-15 minutes and I am sure it will help a little. 

You need to find something to get the blood pumping and something to keep you occupied. 

Great idea. Digging out and dusting off that unused Wii and balance board worked for me - I'd forgotten how much fun the Wii Fit programmes are.

Plenty going secondhand on ebay if you don't have one already. 

Thrugelmir

Our local waste/reycling centre is still open for booked visits. Surprising how much stuff I've sorted and cleared. Only a small amount every week but helps to break up the routine if the weather is naff and a walk isn't possible. Also listed and given a lot away for free. You realise how little you actually need at times like this.