How old is 'Too old'?

swingaloo2

Think maybe I have too much time on my hands with lockdown but lately Ive started to think very much in terms of 'How long have I got left'. Im hoping 20 years or so but at the same time Im starting to feel the effects of age on my body more than I would like.
Ive got to retirement and have so much time but not enough money to cruise the world and not enough energy to change it!.
 Im almost 69 and in good health,but I am a bit overweight. I have some good friends most of whom are 10 to 15 years younger than me.  I work as a volunteer with a lovely group of ladies most of whom are older than me. Without wishing to sound awful I tend to think of the ladies I work with as being quite 'old'  even though there is only maybe a difference of 10 years max between us.
Im active, Ive been wallpapering all weekend and  I hate being beaten at anything but I know I will ache tomorrow. This morning I was removing a lot of ivy from the fencing around the front of the house (Ive recently moved and Ive now got a largish garden which I have so many plans for when the weather gets a bit better) and I was looking round at what needed doing and spotted some large containers which I want moving from the front of the house to the back. Now a couple of years ago I would have managed to move them myself but I know I cant now do it and I feel really bothered by that. Ive become a bit 'maudlin' about things. Ive been sat here thinking about all the things I really wanted to do and didn't. I wanted a push bike for years but had nowhere to keep one or worked long hours etc, etc. Now I have time and space I think Im too old to be wobbling down the road.  Ive always been a jeans/trousers person but now I see and want all these pretty summer dresses but now my legs are fat, I cant do high heels and my arms are too flabby for sleeveless.
Until about 4 years ago I used to go out running with my son (only locally, no marathons) and when I took the dog for a walk I would go 5 times the distance I go now. 
I suddenly feel a bit like its all downhill form here and Im not ready for that. My mind is definately more active than my body and I find it so frustrating. I want to wear big hats but think I would look like an eccentric old dear!.  I want to go to the Northern Soul nights at the local club (when lockdown is over) but I dont want to look like a granny dancer.
I did have a silly moment last week when I looked through the window at the snow and wanted to lie down and make a snow angel, so I did, my husband thought I was mad. 
When my sisters had children I was the one they referred to as 'our silly auntie' because I was the one they did fun stuff with but now they are all grown and there are things you cant do alone without getting arrested! 
Im just feeling a bit like its almost over in a 'Im getting too old to be doing that' kind of way and I dont like it. Is it just me ?

gettingtheresometime

My FIL always used to say that old age doesn't come by itself.

My mum commented recently that getting old was better than the alternative.

My take is if you want to do something then as long as it's legal & you don't hurt anyone why don't you? 

203846930

You wear what you want to, it's does not matter a tinkers cuss what other people think, you will glow in the knowledge that you are better than them.
Out walking is great and again so what if you can't go as far or fast as you used to, it is better than sitting still in a stuffy room. we have ladies in our walking group that will never see the right side of 80 again but they still get out there when they can.

swingaloo2

I think I have come to realise that I have quite a lot of regret in my life, things I wish I had done differently. Funny really, when you are young you think you know it all and by the time you realise that you dont its too late. The gift of hindsight eh!

Morrigan_2020

There's no such thing as too old to ride a bike.

There's no such thing as too fat to wear whatever you fancy wearing, hats are awesome, and high heels are stupid anyway.

The best way to keep yourself fit and well as you get older is to keep up the exercise you clearly enjoy!  Especially anything that strengthens your core.  Run, swim, bike, dance (yes at the northern soul night who cares what anyone thinks and northern soul nights aren't for youngsters anyway!) do yoga, play sport and do it all wearing pretty dresses if that's what you want to do!  

Mrsn

You are never to old to go after what you want. Don’t live with regrets because tomorrow really isn’t promised, and this has never been more true than lately.

I am not surprised you are questioning the how long left etc, the news has been full of death etc for the last 10 months it will wear anybody down.

Wear the pretty dresses and the hat, I am sure you will carry them off fabulously.

swingaloo2

Thank you all for the replies. I cant be the only one feels this way Im sure. I remember many years ago my in laws getting a new car and my mother in law said 'This one will see our time out'. At the time I thought it was a horrible way to think but only this week Ive thought to myself 'Well, thats it, I will never move house again', but then again I wiill never make a career change/buy a camper van and take off in it/learn to ski or go on safari. I know a couple of those are do-able but hubby is disabled so out of the question together and I wouldnt do it without him. Although my mother in law wasnt as bad as my grandma, when I married at 20 years old she told me 'Well Ive seen you married, I dont mind if I die now'. A happy bunch our lot were!
Im also a bu-----r for looking thorugh the deaths on the local paper website and some nights they are all younger than me!!!!! 

sheramber

When I Am Old.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me, And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired, And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells, And run my stick along the public railings, And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens, And learn to spit. You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat, And eat three pounds of sausages at a go, Or only bread and pickle for a week, And hoard pens and pencils and beer mats and things in boxes. But now we must have clothes that keep us dry, And pay our rent and not swear in the street, And set a good example for the children. We will have friends to dinner and read the papers. But maybe I ought to practise a little now? So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised, When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple! Jenny Joseph

Jude57

Northern Soul is all inclusive, all ages, abilities and sizes participate - in fact, if you look on YouTube, some of the best dancers at weekend gatherings are older, ahem, 'larger' men!  Please don't be put off from going (if allowed) - I suspect you'll have a great time and maybe learn (or teach) some new moves.

When we had the hot summer a couple of years ago I was having loads of refurbishment done at home. After day one of melting in an elbow length sleeved top and long joggers, I decided that my comfort was more important than whether workmen or delivery people thought I looked too fat. Wearing vest tops and cropped joggers or a short (above knee) sleeveless dress from then on was sensible and practical. I'd 'got over myself' as my friend says! Anyone who thinks I'm too fat/old/whatever for anything is welcome to their opinion, and welcome to look away. I'm definitely at the stage where others' opinion of me is of minimal concern to me, although I wouldn't subject the world at large to the sight of me in a bikini!

The happiest image I've seen recently was Jean Slater (Eastenders - don't judge me!) having just realised her cancer had returned, blissfully dancing alone at a party meant to be for younger people. I'm with her. 

So @swingaloo2, wear your sleeveless pretty dresses, your big hats (how chic!) and get on your bike, even if only for a short ride. Go dancing and lose yourself on the dance floor. 

Morrigan_2020

swingaloo2 said:

I wiill never make a career change/buy a camper van and take off in it/learn to ski or go on safari. I know a couple of those are do-able but hubby is disabled so out of the question together and I wouldnt do it without him. 

I don't understand why a career change or a safari isn't possible with a disabled partner?  Even some camper vans/motorhomes these days are or can be adapted to be accessible. 

Maybe its time to start focusing on the positives?  All the years you have had, everything you've been lucky enough to be able to do and all the possibilities that could still be ahead of you. 

Many people get nowhere near as much time as you've had, its a gift, something to celebrate, not something to be sad about!

swingaloo2

Love that poem, especially the bit about hoarding things in boxes. Earlier this week I was doing just that and now my 'junk cupboards' are all organised with clearly labelled tins and boxes full of stuff I will probably never need! 
Why have you done all that? asked my hubby. and I cheerfully replied 'So you will be able to find everything when Im no longer here to get it for you'.