Can’t cope with debt/bailiff

vixvix_2

I have problems with mental health.I have ptsd and anxiety from domestic abuse.roughly 18 months ago a bailiff walked into my house and demanded payment of c.tax arrears I didn’t know I had.I had a panic attack,he still persisted he said he needed over £1000 in 24 hrs.I literally collapsed in a heap on floor infront of him ,shaking like a leaf -he handed me papers to sign and even thou I could barely hold the pen,he said I must sign it ,I felt sick the room was spinning and I couldn’t string two words together coherently .I kind of made a mark that looked a bit like signature and he left but would return next day.
my friend contacted my doc -I’d had mental break and the doc who says she was really concerned that I would make it thru weekend to see her on Monday and she pretty much sedated me until then,as any meds for depression or anxiety would likely make me feel worse before better,she didn’t think I could cope with anything further that weekend so delayed starting depression meds until Monday  so there would be a whole week to access support put measures in place etc as by I’m single parent.
eventually got debt advice and adhered to arrangement for as long as I could but circumstances changed and I couldn’t afford £180 a month on c.tax! I B managed to get to debt advisor but I had 2 panic attacks and threw up once,simply by having to be in busy public area.for a long time it would t as ke multiple attempts to just get past front door at home !!I couldn’t deal with it and it’s just been left...however recently I’ve had calls from the same firm of bailiff.they leave messages.I don’t ever answer I dont have a support network that I can comfortably go to but I’m so scared of history repeating itself...I think a dro ??might have been mentioned as still historical debt on credit cards from the decade of domestic abuse.I feel sick,I don’t sleep well dhe to flashbacks but it’s now been a good week since I slept for more than a few hours.
if I could wish for anything some sort of super hero would come find out what’s what and g  red t whatever needed done, speak on my behalf and tell me when and how much to pay who to pay,I’d set up a standing order and that’s it.
I know it’s pathetic to not be able to face it. Myself but I am only just managing to get bkkk on my feet and do a bit of shopping on my own.I’m petrified of another break,and what that would mean for my kids...I just started Therepy and working thru triggers of repressed memories and flashbacks.
is there anyone who can help??

tacpot12

Well done for coming onto MSE and asking for help. I can see it's not easy for you to access help, but help isn't going to arrive without you asking for it from the right people. The closest you might find to a super hero will be your debt adviser. You should have a number you can call them on - call them and ask if they can start helping you again. They will be very used to people dropping out, but needing to come back when they can do so. Don't worry about calling them. 

If you want to avoid having to deal with bailiffs, you need to work with the debt adviser. They generally can't do home visits because it just takes too long, so you need to be able to travel to them. I would suggest you speak you GP about what they can do for you to help you calm down enough to get out to see the debt adviser. 

I guess the mantra you need to repeat to yourself is "I would rather go out to see my debt adviser than stay in and worry that a bailiff might arrive". Keep saying this over and over again and hopefully it will help you keep going. 

Minkym00

Please contact StepChange for advice. Do you know how much you owe in total?