Time for me to be debt free

Babybelles

@enthusiasticsaver thanks for taking the time to comment. Yes I have a joint emergency fund. For the purposes of my diary though I have separated mine & my DH’s finances, as I am trying to sort out the debt I solely acquired by myself. 

My DH has helped me previously but this hasn’t worked as I needed to learn my my mistakes myself, so hopefully I can get this all paid off even if this will take me a lot longer through tackling it myself.
It might not be the best MSE way to pay off debts but I think in the long run it will teach me a lot of lessons I simply wouldn’t learn by having my debts paid off.

We have a newish car & recently moved to our ‘forever’ home so maybe paying off the mortgage earlier is something to aim for. For the first time ever this month we have overpaid the mortgage by a tiny amount so this does seem a good goal to have. Also we do need to think about uni fees as they will be cropping up in the not too distant future. You’ve given me food for thought so thank you for you that.

savingholmes

My sympathies on friends and family struggling with the virus. I too am distracted as some of my co-workers are having a rough time or their relatives are with it and its scary. It feels very close... 

Babybelles

@savingholmes I hope the people you know have speedy recoveries. It really is a worrying time. I hardly knew anyone on the 1st wave but unfortunately I know quite a few people who have caught it recently. It’s awful x

enthusiasticsaver

Babybelles said:

@enthusiasticsaver thanks for taking the time to comment. Yes I have a joint emergency fund. For the purposes of my diary though I have separated mine & my DH’s finances, as I am trying to sort out the debt I solely acquired by myself. 

My DH has helped me previously but this hasn’t worked as I needed to learn my my mistakes myself, so hopefully I can get this all paid off even if this will take me a lot longer through tackling it myself.
It might not be the best MSE way to pay off debts but I think in the long run it will teach me a lot of lessons I simply wouldn’t learn by having my debts paid off.

We have a newish car & recently moved to our ‘forever’ home so maybe paying off the mortgage earlier is something to aim for. For the first time ever this month we have overpaid the mortgage by a tiny amount so this does seem a good goal to have. Also we do need to think about uni fees as they will be cropping up in the not too distant future. You’ve given me food for thought so thank you for you that.

I can understand you wanting to sort it out yourself to maybe teach yourself the lesson so you don't do the same again. However if you bought things for the house and children  and the debt occurred when you were on maternity leave and presumably on reduced income was this not joint debt? How do you and your husband manage your finances? Do you both earn the same and contribute the same amount to joint bills like mortgage, childcare etc? If he is the much bigger earner and a bigger proportion of your income goes towards bills this could explain the reason for the debt. Only you know that though. Is there a reason you don't have joint finances? 

Babybelles

This recent debt didn’t occur through me being on mat leave. My children are far too old for me to blame it on that, but it was one of the reasons why I occurred previous debts. 

Me & my DH do have joint finances but we also have our own personal spends, hence why I have my own debt. My DH is great & would help me pay off my debt but I know I need to take ownership so I am doing.

He is the main breadwinner & contributes more to the household bills. The debt is purely my fault though as I bought too much of things we didn’t need but I wanted. Items to make the house look pretty, or more clothes or toys than the kids needed. Silly, frivolous things that I shouldn’t have used CCs for. 

Anyway, I haven’t spent on CCs for almost a month now which is the longest I’ve ever gone without using them. Baby steps I know but at least I’ve started on this journey.

enthusiasticsaver

OK then that explains it.  It is just that often women particularly take on responsibility for debt occurring through essential spending on maternity leaves, childcare expenses or things for children which really should be shared.  It seems like you have a good split of finances though and I think personal expenses works well (we do that ourselves) so taking ownership of it sounds wise.  Well done on avoiding credit for a month.  I would put the cards away for good until the debt is cleared at least. Too tempting otherwise. 

Babybelles

@enthusiasticsaver I think you are absolutely right. Quite a few of my friends ran up debt, especially whilst on mat leave. I think it’s easy to get into the mess of carrying on spending like before your income reduced, as well as getting suckered in to buying lots of baby paraphernalia you really don’t need. 

My husband knows I have debt & that I am tackling it, he’s just thinks the amount I owe is lower. I’m trying not to lie but at the same time I don’t want to disappoint him as I’m already disappointed with myself. I’m not going to dwell on it, onwards & upwards & time to get out of this mess. 

The credit cards have gone away, I know it’s early days but my mindset has changed. I’ve had my LBM & am certainly not hankering after buying new things like I used to. I just need to keep going now.

Babybelles

Hi everyone, hope you are all managing to stay safe in this very weird world.

I’ve just been discussing with the DH about what a low spend week I’ve had. So far I’ve only paid out for postage fees & I’ve managed to pay another £30 on debt overpayments. I’m happy the debt is reducing, even if only by these small amounts. I’m really looking forward to payday too so I can pay a bigger chunk off 🙂

I’ve managed to secure another food delivery for the weekend so have a few meals planned for next week. We’ve also decided to order our favourite takeaway style foods on this delivery so we don’t end up spending more on ordering takeaways at the weekend. I love having a takeaway & watching a movie at the weekends but I’m starting to realise how wasteful it is to buy one most weekends when we have plenty of food in. So I’ve decided I’m having a curry & the kids & DH want burgers & chips 😋 Hopefully we will enjoy them & manage to save a bit of money.

I’ve been thinking of other ways to reduce my spending & have unsubscribed from quite a few emails, as I was being bombarded with offers for stuff I didn’t want or need. Luckily I haven’t felt tempted with anything yet but no doubt something would crop up soon so I’d rather just not know about it.

Before starting my diary I bought a fairly expensive kitchen item I had been lusting after & would benefit from using. However, it arrived damaged so has been sent back & I’m just waiting for a £60 refund which I’m hoping I can pay straight off debt. I do want to reorder the item in future but it’s out of stock at the min so I’ve decided I can wait until I get paid to reorder, providing it is back in stock by then.

As always it’s baby steps but I’m still stepping in the right direction,
Love B x

kermit2601

Hi Babybelles, 
I'm just getting back into these forums and this diary resonates with me. My DW and I have a fair bit of debt and are currently making plans to sort ourselves out. 
I'm in the process of setting us goals to achieve, interest charging cc's paid off by the end of the year etc. But I'm also looking at medium and long term goals and I'm finding that really helpful. 
I'm looking to get a fund set up for our daughter whether that's for uni or a property deposit as a medium term goal and looking to get our mortgage paid off by the time I reach 60 (23 yrs).
The point I'm trying to make is, don't focus solely on the debt. Yes, pay that off first, but have an idea of where you'd like to be. Nest egg for children, mortgage paid off early, ability to retire early. If you have a positive "endgame" (savings targets) as opposed to a negative (debts paid off), you are much more likely to follow through with changes. 

I hope that makes sense.

savingholmes

Where you are paying interest I would prioritise clearing debt. Too many balls to juggle reduces success