Partner moving into my recently owned house

[Deleted User]

ShowMeTheDough said:

CSL0183 said:

Protecting your deposit is fine. 

Trying to protect your legal fees and furnishings is quite utterly ridiculous. (If you split up, would he take your sofas, microwave and hoover?) You would have had legal fees regardless, write them off. 

However, perhaps the next time you do have legal fees (through moving, a remortgage, drawing up these deed of trust protections etc) then he can pay them to even things out but personally I would just write them off as my own (not his) expenses and stop trying to self analyse every penny  each other puts in. If you’re thinking about protecting everything you buy the relationship seems doomed before it has really begun. What if he spends more on shopping than you do, or buys more takeaways? What if he does more handyman work and DIY around the home to maintain it? Ridiculous isn’t it?

Give yourself a shake, protecting your deposit is fine but everything else including this 6 month probation nonsense is quite utterly ridiculous and OTT. 

You can move him in and he can pay the bills as his contribution? Council tax, Gas / Electric / TV / Internet etc. (Class that as rent money)

When you are in a position to add him to the mortgage, you get a valuation done at that point and any equity in the property is 100% yours. You then start afresh at that point protecting your equity and going half on everything. 

He needs to pay to live regardless of where he lives and you having a mortgage on your property doesn’t change that. If he’s paying “rent” money to you then he should just be happy at that and write it off as everyday expenses without expecting any kind of share in the equity until he’s in a position to be added to the mortgage. 

This 100%.

Will you want half the petrol money for driving to the viewing as well? 😂

Maybe this forum isn't the right place for someone struggling financially. I'm struggling to make ends meet and dipping in and out of overdrafts and credit cards to make this work. We are talking about a holiday next year which he will swing no bother with his 20K inheritance but I will be scraping the pennies together over the next year to try and get 1K together to pay for it so I didn't think it totally unreasonable that he retrospectively helps to pay for the house he is going to be living in for the next 2 years and will be added to the mortgage of without any upfront payments at all. Maybe I am not in a good enough financial position for this forum and it isn't for those in my situation. Your joke about petrol isn't helpful for me - I bought an old car years ago and had to sell it when I bought this house because I knew I couldn't keep up the insurance and petrol payments but after renting for 15 years I knew I needed to get on the property ladder to make my outgoings (in the long run) a little cheaper. 

warby68

As you decided that he would bypass renting alone and move straight in with you, you have effectively been setting up the first joint home. Presumably he'd started saving also (ignoring any inheritance) so it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that he would pay a share of that first lot of furnishings and white goods and allow you to have a bit back in savings. Anything related to the purchase itself, I would say is your cost at this stage and the pooling of resources can come later.
Its a recurring problem when people are both setting themselves up individually and living together all at the same time. If you were pooling everything in the more 'old fashioned' way it wouldn't be so difficult. All contributions and assets would be joint regardless of whether the costs were equally split. I know not every relationship is seen as permanent from the stage where you live together but all other arrangements are in some way preparing for a break up. That's why its tricky.
If he has just moved straight in and not offered a bean though and knows you're down to pennies, that also seems a bit of a red flag, especially if he actually has no savings to offer. Hopefully not and I am inferring too much. It just sounds like you're planning to recoup it from shares in the property later rather than him just coughing up say a £1k contribution now. I couldn't help but be wary of someone moving straight from parents without even having saved up for a bed or a TV - its just not very 'grown up'.

ShowMeTheDough

Interested100 said:

ShowMeTheDough said:

CSL0183 said:

Protecting your deposit is fine. 

Trying to protect your legal fees and furnishings is quite utterly ridiculous. (If you split up, would he take your sofas, microwave and hoover?) You would have had legal fees regardless, write them off. 

However, perhaps the next time you do have legal fees (through moving, a remortgage, drawing up these deed of trust protections etc) then he can pay them to even things out but personally I would just write them off as my own (not his) expenses and stop trying to self analyse every penny  each other puts in. If you’re thinking about protecting everything you buy the relationship seems doomed before it has really begun. What if he spends more on shopping than you do, or buys more takeaways? What if he does more handyman work and DIY around the home to maintain it? Ridiculous isn’t it?

Give yourself a shake, protecting your deposit is fine but everything else including this 6 month probation nonsense is quite utterly ridiculous and OTT. 

You can move him in and he can pay the bills as his contribution? Council tax, Gas / Electric / TV / Internet etc. (Class that as rent money)

When you are in a position to add him to the mortgage, you get a valuation done at that point and any equity in the property is 100% yours. You then start afresh at that point protecting your equity and going half on everything. 

He needs to pay to live regardless of where he lives and you having a mortgage on your property doesn’t change that. If he’s paying “rent” money to you then he should just be happy at that and write it off as everyday expenses without expecting any kind of share in the equity until he’s in a position to be added to the mortgage. 

This 100%.

Will you want half the petrol money for driving to the viewing as well? 😂

Maybe this forum isn't the right place for someone struggling financially. I'm struggling to make ends meet and dipping in and out of overdrafts and credit cards to make this work. We are talking about a holiday next year which he will swing no bother with his 20K inheritance but I will be scraping the pennies together over the next year to try and get 1K together to pay for it so I didn't think it totally unreasonable that he retrospectively helps to pay for the house he is going to be living in for the next 2 years and will be added to the mortgage of without any upfront payments at all. Maybe I am not in a good enough financial position for this forum and it isn't for those in my situation. Your joke about petrol isn't helpful for me - I bought an old car years ago and had to sell it when I bought this house because I knew I couldn't keep up the insurance and petrol payments but after renting for 15 years I knew I needed to get on the property ladder to make my outgoings (in the long run) a little cheaper. 

Why don't you look at this way - if you are genuinely struggling to make ends meet (to the extent you cannot afford to run an old car, and saving £1k over the course of a year will be a challenge) surely your BF moving in and paying rent/half the mortgage will be a huge help to you? This in itself should surely outweigh the need to 'charge' him half of the initial legal fees etc?

And I apologise if you were offended by my petrol comment. Your post simply comes across in very much a 'what's mine is mine' way. You also sound a little (can I say, bitter?) that your BF will be receiving a £20k inheritance. Why not look at it from the point of view that if you have a good relationship and he is a reasonable guy (I'm guessing this is the case or you would not be doing what you are doing) he's never going to watch you struggle to get by whilst having some money of his own?

Try to focus on the positives of this situation. 

[Deleted User]

ShowMeTheDough said:

Interested100 said:

ShowMeTheDough said:

CSL0183 said:

Protecting your deposit is fine. 

Trying to protect your legal fees and furnishings is quite utterly ridiculous. (If you split up, would he take your sofas, microwave and hoover?) You would have had legal fees regardless, write them off. 

However, perhaps the next time you do have legal fees (through moving, a remortgage, drawing up these deed of trust protections etc) then he can pay them to even things out but personally I would just write them off as my own (not his) expenses and stop trying to self analyse every penny  each other puts in. If you’re thinking about protecting everything you buy the relationship seems doomed before it has really begun. What if he spends more on shopping than you do, or buys more takeaways? What if he does more handyman work and DIY around the home to maintain it? Ridiculous isn’t it?

Give yourself a shake, protecting your deposit is fine but everything else including this 6 month probation nonsense is quite utterly ridiculous and OTT. 

You can move him in and he can pay the bills as his contribution? Council tax, Gas / Electric / TV / Internet etc. (Class that as rent money)

When you are in a position to add him to the mortgage, you get a valuation done at that point and any equity in the property is 100% yours. You then start afresh at that point protecting your equity and going half on everything. 

He needs to pay to live regardless of where he lives and you having a mortgage on your property doesn’t change that. If he’s paying “rent” money to you then he should just be happy at that and write it off as everyday expenses without expecting any kind of share in the equity until he’s in a position to be added to the mortgage. 

This 100%.

Will you want half the petrol money for driving to the viewing as well? 😂

Maybe this forum isn't the right place for someone struggling financially. I'm struggling to make ends meet and dipping in and out of overdrafts and credit cards to make this work. We are talking about a holiday next year which he will swing no bother with his 20K inheritance but I will be scraping the pennies together over the next year to try and get 1K together to pay for it so I didn't think it totally unreasonable that he retrospectively helps to pay for the house he is going to be living in for the next 2 years and will be added to the mortgage of without any upfront payments at all. Maybe I am not in a good enough financial position for this forum and it isn't for those in my situation. Your joke about petrol isn't helpful for me - I bought an old car years ago and had to sell it when I bought this house because I knew I couldn't keep up the insurance and petrol payments but after renting for 15 years I knew I needed to get on the property ladder to make my outgoings (in the long run) a little cheaper. 

Why don't you look at this way - if you are genuinely struggling to make ends meet (to the extent you cannot afford to run an old car, and saving £1k over the course of a year will be a challenge) surely your BF moving in and paying rent/half the mortgage will be a huge help to you? This in itself should surely outweigh the need to 'charge' him half of the initial legal fees etc?

And I apologise if you were offended by my petrol comment. Your post simply comes across in very much a 'what's mine is mine' way. You also sound a little (can I say, bitter?) that your BF will be receiving a £20k inheritance. Why not look at it from the point of view that if you have a good relationship and he is a reasonable guy (I'm guessing this is the case or you would not be doing what you are doing) he's never going to watch you struggle to get by whilst having some money of his own?

Try to focus on the positives of this situation. 

Thank you for apologising and I get this is the problem with explaining these things over the web - I am the opposite of bitter towards his inheritance, it is absolutely fantastic for him and means we can move out of this small flat in the future that I've bought so it is only good things and he most importantly gets to enjoy it now by doing things he's never been able to so bitter doesn't actually come into it - that would be a pretty odd way to feel about a partner but if I've said something that made you think that I apologise.

I just turned to this forum to help with suggestions after feeling like my foreseeable future will be scraping together pennies for any 'fun' and wondering if it would be reasonable to ask for an upfront payment to mean we can enjoy ourselves together rather than me always having to say 'sorry I can't afford to do that this weekend'. That was all! But maybe that wasn't right and its just one of those things and hopefully in a few years if we buy somewhere else the fun can come then as I can get some deposit back out! :-)

CSL0183

Interested100 said:

ShowMeTheDough said:

Interested100 said:

ShowMeTheDough said:

CSL0183 said:

Protecting your deposit is fine. 

Trying to protect your legal fees and furnishings is quite utterly ridiculous. (If you split up, would he take your sofas, microwave and hoover?) You would have had legal fees regardless, write them off. 

However, perhaps the next time you do have legal fees (through moving, a remortgage, drawing up these deed of trust protections etc) then he can pay them to even things out but personally I would just write them off as my own (not his) expenses and stop trying to self analyse every penny  each other puts in. If you’re thinking about protecting everything you buy the relationship seems doomed before it has really begun. What if he spends more on shopping than you do, or buys more takeaways? What if he does more handyman work and DIY around the home to maintain it? Ridiculous isn’t it?

Give yourself a shake, protecting your deposit is fine but everything else including this 6 month probation nonsense is quite utterly ridiculous and OTT. 

You can move him in and he can pay the bills as his contribution? Council tax, Gas / Electric / TV / Internet etc. (Class that as rent money)

When you are in a position to add him to the mortgage, you get a valuation done at that point and any equity in the property is 100% yours. You then start afresh at that point protecting your equity and going half on everything. 

He needs to pay to live regardless of where he lives and you having a mortgage on your property doesn’t change that. If he’s paying “rent” money to you then he should just be happy at that and write it off as everyday expenses without expecting any kind of share in the equity until he’s in a position to be added to the mortgage. 

This 100%.

Will you want half the petrol money for driving to the viewing as well? 😂

Maybe this forum isn't the right place for someone struggling financially. I'm struggling to make ends meet and dipping in and out of overdrafts and credit cards to make this work. We are talking about a holiday next year which he will swing no bother with his 20K inheritance but I will be scraping the pennies together over the next year to try and get 1K together to pay for it so I didn't think it totally unreasonable that he retrospectively helps to pay for the house he is going to be living in for the next 2 years and will be added to the mortgage of without any upfront payments at all. Maybe I am not in a good enough financial position for this forum and it isn't for those in my situation. Your joke about petrol isn't helpful for me - I bought an old car years ago and had to sell it when I bought this house because I knew I couldn't keep up the insurance and petrol payments but after renting for 15 years I knew I needed to get on the property ladder to make my outgoings (in the long run) a little cheaper. 

Why don't you look at this way - if you are genuinely struggling to make ends meet (to the extent you cannot afford to run an old car, and saving £1k over the course of a year will be a challenge) surely your BF moving in and paying rent/half the mortgage will be a huge help to you? This in itself should surely outweigh the need to 'charge' him half of the initial legal fees etc?

And I apologise if you were offended by my petrol comment. Your post simply comes across in very much a 'what's mine is mine' way. You also sound a little (can I say, bitter?) that your BF will be receiving a £20k inheritance. Why not look at it from the point of view that if you have a good relationship and he is a reasonable guy (I'm guessing this is the case or you would not be doing what you are doing) he's never going to watch you struggle to get by whilst having some money of his own?

Try to focus on the positives of this situation. 

Thank you for apologising and I get this is the problem with explaining these things over the web - I am the opposite of bitter towards his inheritance, it is absolutely fantastic for him and means we can move out of this small flat in the future that I've bought so it is only good things and he most importantly gets to enjoy it now by doing things he's never been able to so bitter doesn't actually come into it - that would be a pretty odd way to feel about a partner but if I've said something that made you think that I apologise.

I just turned to this forum to help with suggestions after feeling like my foreseeable future will be scraping together pennies for any 'fun' and wondering if it would be reasonable to ask for an upfront payment to mean we can enjoy ourselves together rather than me always having to say 'sorry I can't afford to do that this weekend'. That was all! But maybe that wasn't right and its just one of those things and hopefully in a few years if we buy somewhere else the fun can come then as I can get some deposit back out! :-)

When is the £20k inheritance due to be paid to your partner?

If he wants equal rights over your house on a 50/50 basis you could ask him to transfer £10k of that straight to you to put into your savings account. That £10k is half the £20k deposit you paid a couple of months ago so as long as you don’t mind that you have paid the mortgage for the last couple of months then (or few months if he has to wait on the inheritance) then that would mean he has paid half your deposit. 

You could potentially ask him for another £1k for the legal fees and £1k for the furniture spend and say put £12k in my bank account and everything really is 50/50 or you could just say put £10k in my bank account and he should pay the next £2k in legal fees and the next £2k in home decorations. 

You don’t need to necessarily put him on the mortgage at the moment. I would wait until your remortgage is due otherwise you may have an ERC to pay. (What are you on, 2/3/5 year fix?) 

If he puts that £10-12k into your bank account then you contact a solicitor and draw up a deed of trust agreement saying he has 50% share in the property. (That doesn’t cost too much, a few hundred £££) At your next remortgage point you apply jointly and he will naturally be put on the deeds at that time with a 50% agreement. 

Just another option to consider. 

getmore4less

Interested100 said:

Typhoon2000 said:

What is the rational for adding him to the mortgage, if the plan is to move in 2 years? There will costs, including the solicitors fees for the arrangements you want to draw up. With a joint mortgage, if he decides not to pay his half of the mortgage you will still be liable for paying the whole amount while he will still retain his share of the property. 

Best to keep things as they are with him paying you rent for the next two years and then start afresh with the new property. Hopefully he would have saved up a deposit by then too.

He is about to come into a 20K inheritance so the rationale was he very soon will be in a position to buy and doesn't want to continue renting unnecessary. He's happy to as a test run but really wants to start investing his money into a mortgage. I personally agree with you to keep it simple but I'm not sure its fair on him to make him rent for a further 2 years if he doesn't have to...

OK just 6 months
Keep it simple

Total cost of house is : mortgage + £20k + £4k 

Trial run, no payments to the mortgage .just running costs.
It is not fare that you get to protect your money and his as yours.

If still going OK and his inheritance has come in.
He gives you  £12k,  1/2 the cash you have paid out up front.

He gives you 1/2 the mortgage payments so far.
You are in 50:50 paying the mortgage 50:50 from then on.
Might be a problem for the mortgage but it can be done with a deed of trust at that time without changing deeds&mortgage.

If you have a fixed mortgage there could be ERC to deal with.

Not working out he walks.
 

binao

I do hope you are not about to, "shoot the messenger", if you don't like the message.

Your posts seem to be all about the £s, with very little about the relationship, or hopefully  life partners to be. May be I'm old fashioned but a balance sheet approach leaves very little room for., "You  and me, Hand in hand, Through life's  ups and downs, Together, Today, Tomorrow and forever".

What happens if you are made redundant and bf, partner, husband, receives a great work promotion,  maybe a directorship, an even bigger inheritance, maybe all together? ❤ 

Good luck.

Ps.  Does, has your bf seen the thread?

hayley2411

I'd ignore most people on this thread and do as you see fit....as a single woman owning her own house. It's tough, and if you want to fully protect yourself whether that means financially you do you 😊 good luck and I hope it all works out for you xxx

roosterpotatoes

I'm really sorry for sounding matter of fact but I am going to tell you how I see this. 

You've bought a house and whatever deposit and associated costs that come with that you have paid (BTW congratulations). 

You have since decided your boyfriend will move in with you.  Great news as you have said you are struggling financially and his contribution will certainly lighten the load -what is the issue here?? Surely if you are moving in together you feel this relationship is for keeps and why do things need to formally change for you? The legalities at the moment are that you are responsible for the mortgage and associated bills. When you bought the house you did this alone and I assume that the lender ran an affordability test and deemed you suitable. 

You don't need to do anything legally, your boyfriend (even if he is paying you rent/bills money) has no legal right over the property.  When your initial term expires (2, 3,, 5 year term etc) then you can choose whether to remortgage and add him to the mortgage or not. At that stage you will complete a form with the solicitors which will state how the 'shares' in the property are split, most common is equal shares but if you wish to preserve your £20k then you will have a higher share.  

I do have to add, I completely understand why you wish to preserve your deposit in case anything should go wrong but when I met my now husband, the amount of money that I have spent on my house did not enter my head when he moved in. We are equal partners in this road called life and yes, he has inherited my possessions but they mean nothing emotionally.  

emma_829

I’d suggest looking into a cohabitation agreement whilst he isn’t on the mortgage. You don’t need to use a solicitor and can draw this up yourself between the two of you. I must add a Deed of Trust or a Cohabitation Agreement don’t have to be followed by the Court if it ever went that far in the event of a split, but it will be considered as it will show what both your intentions were at the start and does sometimes help you both part amicably as you will know what each can walk away with. 

A Deed of Trust can usually only cover the equity in the property, but a Cohabitation Agreement can set out what you each brought possession wise and legal fee wise and that you should get that back. You can then confirm what you will each pay per month towards the property and property costs. This will then indicate if you should give him some of the equity if you split if he has contributed to the mortgage but isn’t a party.  If he contributes towards the house and costs e.g. bills and repairs an implied trust can be created even where he isn’t a legal owner and he could still claim a beneficial interest in the property even without an agreement. From a legal perspective, I’d still suggest you put some kind of an agreement in place to protect both of you so you know what his interest will be and I believe a Cohabitation Agreement might be the most suitable. It might be best to initially consult a solicitor you can usually get 30 minutes free advice to ensure you can cover everything you want to.