Just need to get on with it!!

Babybelles

I hope you are feeling a bit brighter now, debt does cause worry & stress,  but like you said you are in a position to deal with your debts & are making plans to do so.

I don’t think moving in with your in-laws is a good idea. Yes, it will be great having a bit more cash but I don’t think stepping off the housing ladder, or having to live with others is the best solution. As much as I love both my parents & my in-laws I think we’d drive each other crazy living together 🤣

Maybe also have a think about some goals you want to achieve so you’re not solidly focusing on debt as that won’t be great for your MH. 

If the kitchen is as awful as you say it is then could you not save a bit of your wage this month & next? You could then spend the £1K on making it a bit more useable? I was initially against you spending monies on it rather than tackling your debt but with your in law helping you out the price sounds reasonable. 

Jamesyb123

warren80 said:

Jamesyb123 said:

warren80 said:

I know that I am still not great at posting. I hit a bit of a wall last week and felt awful. It's very unlike me as I am generally a 'glass half full' kinda guy. I have no idea where it came from but I found myself worrying and waking up thinking about money etc. I had a good few days of this but managed to pull myself out of it. I can only assume that it's due to lockdown and the fact that I have far too much time at home and too much time to think. Feeling ok now and have reminded myself how very lucky we are to be in a position to deal with our debts. I genuinely feel blessed that it's fixable for us. 

The current situation is playing on everyone’s mental health. I’ve read through this thread and think you should be pleased that you’ve put a plan in place. When your anxiety kicks in go for a nice walk or a jog and you will instantly feel better. Just keep doing what you’re doing and always remind yourself there’s a point where the debt will come to an end even if it takes 5 years or 10 years stuck at it and one day it’ll be done. Good luck.

Thanks Mate, and yes you're right it can only get better. Generally I am upbeat and have refused to allow myself to stress too much over this situation. My wife worries more than I do so I try to be the voice or reason and reassurance! For me, the key is to not dwell too much on the figures. I think that one thing that niggles me is that I don't know anyone else who has run up debts at the scale that we have. That slight sense of failure does sting a bit BUT tough S**t - just gotta get on with it

Dont dwell on the amount just concentrate on your Budget, just focus that £1000 or £1500 a month is paying toward debts and leave it at that. Don’t think about the amount the only time it’ll matter is when you get to the end and it’s £0. It’s natural to be strong for the mrs, I’m the same with things. Maybe try to find a close understanding friend that you trust to get it off your chest. But just don’t dwell these things happen. Just think of it as a second mortgage and don’t allow it to take over your thoughts. Once you’ve paid your second mortgage for the month that’s it then it’s done until you pay it again the next month. But honestly try light jogging you wouldn’t believe how it makes you feel mate.

warren80

Jamesyb123 said:

warren80 said:

Jamesyb123 said:

warren80 said:

I know that I am still not great at posting. I hit a bit of a wall last week and felt awful. It's very unlike me as I am generally a 'glass half full' kinda guy. I have no idea where it came from but I found myself worrying and waking up thinking about money etc. I had a good few days of this but managed to pull myself out of it. I can only assume that it's due to lockdown and the fact that I have far too much time at home and too much time to think. Feeling ok now and have reminded myself how very lucky we are to be in a position to deal with our debts. I genuinely feel blessed that it's fixable for us. 

The current situation is playing on everyone’s mental health. I’ve read through this thread and think you should be pleased that you’ve put a plan in place. When your anxiety kicks in go for a nice walk or a jog and you will instantly feel better. Just keep doing what you’re doing and always remind yourself there’s a point where the debt will come to an end even if it takes 5 years or 10 years stuck at it and one day it’ll be done. Good luck.

Thanks Mate, and yes you're right it can only get better. Generally I am upbeat and have refused to allow myself to stress too much over this situation. My wife worries more than I do so I try to be the voice or reason and reassurance! For me, the key is to not dwell too much on the figures. I think that one thing that niggles me is that I don't know anyone else who has run up debts at the scale that we have. That slight sense of failure does sting a bit BUT tough S**t - just gotta get on with it

Dont dwell on the amount just concentrate on your Budget, just focus that £1000 or £1500 a month is paying toward debts and leave it at that. Don’t think about the amount the only time it’ll matter is when you get to the end and it’s £0. It’s natural to be strong for the mrs, I’m the same with things. Maybe try to find a close understanding friend that you trust to get it off your chest. But just don’t dwell these things happen. Just think of it as a second mortgage and don’t allow it to take over your thoughts. Once you’ve paid your second mortgage for the month that’s it then it’s done until you pay it again the next month. But honestly try light jogging you wouldn’t believe how it makes you feel mate.

Thanks mate. I do love jogging. I am also about 10lbs overweight because of lockdown (and chocolate malted milk biscuits) so I should try and get out more. 
I often use the mortgage analogy. Our current mortgage plus our unsecured debt is probably the same or less and lots of other peoples mortgages. That does help me to rationalise it a little. 

Jamesyb123

warren80 said:

Jamesyb123 said:

warren80 said:

Jamesyb123 said:

warren80 said:

I know that I am still not great at posting. I hit a bit of a wall last week and felt awful. It's very unlike me as I am generally a 'glass half full' kinda guy. I have no idea where it came from but I found myself worrying and waking up thinking about money etc. I had a good few days of this but managed to pull myself out of it. I can only assume that it's due to lockdown and the fact that I have far too much time at home and too much time to think. Feeling ok now and have reminded myself how very lucky we are to be in a position to deal with our debts. I genuinely feel blessed that it's fixable for us. 

The current situation is playing on everyone’s mental health. I’ve read through this thread and think you should be pleased that you’ve put a plan in place. When your anxiety kicks in go for a nice walk or a jog and you will instantly feel better. Just keep doing what you’re doing and always remind yourself there’s a point where the debt will come to an end even if it takes 5 years or 10 years stuck at it and one day it’ll be done. Good luck.

Thanks Mate, and yes you're right it can only get better. Generally I am upbeat and have refused to allow myself to stress too much over this situation. My wife worries more than I do so I try to be the voice or reason and reassurance! For me, the key is to not dwell too much on the figures. I think that one thing that niggles me is that I don't know anyone else who has run up debts at the scale that we have. That slight sense of failure does sting a bit BUT tough S**t - just gotta get on with it

Dont dwell on the amount just concentrate on your Budget, just focus that £1000 or £1500 a month is paying toward debts and leave it at that. Don’t think about the amount the only time it’ll matter is when you get to the end and it’s £0. It’s natural to be strong for the mrs, I’m the same with things. Maybe try to find a close understanding friend that you trust to get it off your chest. But just don’t dwell these things happen. Just think of it as a second mortgage and don’t allow it to take over your thoughts. Once you’ve paid your second mortgage for the month that’s it then it’s done until you pay it again the next month. But honestly try light jogging you wouldn’t believe how it makes you feel mate.

Thanks mate. I do love jogging. I am also about 10lbs overweight because of lockdown (and chocolate malted milk biscuits) so I should try and get out more. 
I often use the mortgage analogy. Our current mortgage plus our unsecured debt is probably the same or less and lots of other peoples mortgages. That does help me to rationalise it a little. 

Yeah that’s the way mate once you rationalise it you will feel better. I always found when I was in debt the exercise helped me as I went along and then at the end I was 2 stone lighter and out of debt everything comes together all at once. I use the jogging to keep the weight off and also cover me for the excessive amounts of chocolate and junk I slam down me over the weekends.

remote_control

Definitely think of it like a mortgage payment - If you aren't putting anything on credit now it will only go down. And as time goes on you will have more on 0%. 
I bet lots of people have debt, don't be embarrassed by it. No one talks about it and it is a secret. I will talk to people about mine if they ask! So please don't beat yourself up about it.
Try and post every day. 
Check out this new diary of someone who is just starting out: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6235599/31k-of-debt-to-go-in-18-months/p1